Professor Drumstick – Mentorship Lessons

It was the second anniversary of my dad’s passing last month. I was speaking to mom, and she recollected an incident related to him and a drumstick plant he nurtured while he was around but never bore any fruits till last month.

Dad used to take care of the plant as if it was his child and watered it daily. He even gave timely manure which promptly let the plant grow tall and branch out beautifully. But for some reason the plant never flowered nor gave any fruits. My mom knew what the issue was and told him not to water daily since drumstick is a drought friendly plant. Dad never stopped and continued with his ritual till his last days.

After his passing, the drumstick plant was finally left to fend for itself. On the second anniversary of my dad, as though the plant wanted to celebrate the freedom, it flowered big time and subsequently all the flowers turned into fruits as well.

As soon as mom finished narrating the story, I couldn’t help but think about many of us who go through a similar situation in life. No, I am not talking about the experience with plants, instead our experience with being a mentee or a mentor.

Many of us who had a mentor in our life most likely would have experienced mentorship in one of the two ways. In the first case, we may be blessed with a mentor who usually has a larger-than-life image in our mind helps us to understand the aspects of what we are being mentored and scale up so that we can handle things ourselves. The latter is when a similar larger-than-life mentor remains that forever though while helping you to understand the nuances of mentorship, rarely allows you to scale up beyond your current capabilities.

The first kind of mentor is the ideal one who believes in you and trusts you to deliver independently after a while even when they are not around. Just the way the drumstick plant would have felt after my dad was gone. While the second kind of mentor accidentally or otherwise, limits the true potential of their mentee, and the mentee ends up with a growth that seems quite commendable, but after a point reaches a stagnation and does not yield any results whatsoever. Just the way the drumstick plant was when it was being watered daily. This is nothing but patronizing and not mentoring.

Now I have a question each for all the mentees and mentors out there. If you are a mentor, ask yourself what kind of mentorship school do you belong to? Do you truly nurture your mentees and allow them to come out in flying colours or are you the kind that stops their growth thinking that they are not ready yet for the world? Believe me, if you are a good mentor, your mentee will be ready to fly out provided you cut the rope that holds them back. Try it out once and you will be surprised to see the results for yourself.

The question to the mentees is trickier. Do you feel yourself being stifled by your mentor and not being allowed enough freedom to do what you would experiment based on your learning? If so, you now have a responsibility to clearly articulate that to your mentor. Most of the mentors will understand. Else find the courage to break-free from the shackles of such patronizing mentorship and push your boundaries with a never-before tried courage so that you will realize sky is not the limit.

While I know it is a thin line that differentiates the two types of mentorships, my earnest wish to all mentors and mentees out there is to listen to your hearts and do what is right!