Mother Hen Managers

If you were lucky enough to grow up in an environment where you saw how a hen raised her chicks, I shall say you had been privy to one of the greatest lessons you could ever learn from mother nature. Do not be surprised, if I say, the learning from this experience applies to all managers across the corporate world and, closer home, to all parents as well, irrespective of your gender.

Soon after the eggs hatch, the mother hen takes the chicks along with her and searches for food and feeds them with what she finds. The process continues for a while until a day arrives when you will see a significant behavioural change in mother hen. Instead of keeping the chicks closer to her, finding and feeding them with food she searched for, she now appears to mercilessly drive them away. The action is not to be considered as a lack of love, instead one that is intended to make the chicks self sufficient so that they can find food and feed themselves. That is the only way they will survive the big bad world out there.

Now let me take you to the corporate world we are in. We see two kinds of managers exhibiting behaviours you read in the above statements. There are those who constantly feed aka nurture the people who report to them. These are the managers who feel it is easier if they get things done for their team so that it is helpful for the team to finish the pieces of work. This is a behaviour, that is expressed, at times, due to fear of incompletion and other times from an obsessively compulsive nature which do not let these managers delegate their work. Then there are others who constantly challenge their direct reports to go above and beyond their capabilities so that one day they become equal or even better than the managers themselves.

I have been fortunate in my career to have worked with both kinds of managers. While the first ones may appear quite regressive, in the initial years of your career, getting a manager like that helps you as a shield from the wrath of some of the senior executives, when you make mistakes. But as you grow into senior positions, you may want this shield to be broken and learn to fend for yourself, in which case, a manager of the latter kind is better.

Interesting enough, closer to our families, these behaviours resonate well with each of us as parents or children. Parents who help their children with everything always, may think they are helping them survive. But the fact remains that the parents who are like the mother hen who wanted the children to be self-sufficient will be doing a great deal more of a service to their children in the long run.

We all don the roles of either the children or parents. Like it or not, these roles are inadvertently laced with our corporate personas. On this Mother’s Day, when we celebrate mothers, what else can be a good reminder than the mother hen and her strategy to empower those who work with us.

Happy Mother’s Day to all managers out there, irrespective of your gender, who learned from this simple yet powerful lesson from mother hen!

Professor Drumstick – Mentorship Lessons

It was the second anniversary of my dad’s passing last month. I was speaking to mom, and she recollected an incident related to him and a drumstick plant he nurtured while he was around but never bore any fruits till last month.

Dad used to take care of the plant as if it was his child and watered it daily. He even gave timely manure which promptly let the plant grow tall and branch out beautifully. But for some reason the plant never flowered nor gave any fruits. My mom knew what the issue was and told him not to water daily since drumstick is a drought friendly plant. Dad never stopped and continued with his ritual till his last days.

After his passing, the drumstick plant was finally left to fend for itself. On the second anniversary of my dad, as though the plant wanted to celebrate the freedom, it flowered big time and subsequently all the flowers turned into fruits as well.

As soon as mom finished narrating the story, I couldn’t help but think about many of us who go through a similar situation in life. No, I am not talking about the experience with plants, instead our experience with being a mentee or a mentor.

Many of us who had a mentor in our life most likely would have experienced mentorship in one of the two ways. In the first case, we may be blessed with a mentor who usually has a larger-than-life image in our mind helps us to understand the aspects of what we are being mentored and scale up so that we can handle things ourselves. The latter is when a similar larger-than-life mentor remains that forever though while helping you to understand the nuances of mentorship, rarely allows you to scale up beyond your current capabilities.

The first kind of mentor is the ideal one who believes in you and trusts you to deliver independently after a while even when they are not around. Just the way the drumstick plant would have felt after my dad was gone. While the second kind of mentor accidentally or otherwise, limits the true potential of their mentee, and the mentee ends up with a growth that seems quite commendable, but after a point reaches a stagnation and does not yield any results whatsoever. Just the way the drumstick plant was when it was being watered daily. This is nothing but patronizing and not mentoring.

Now I have a question each for all the mentees and mentors out there. If you are a mentor, ask yourself what kind of mentorship school do you belong to? Do you truly nurture your mentees and allow them to come out in flying colours or are you the kind that stops their growth thinking that they are not ready yet for the world? Believe me, if you are a good mentor, your mentee will be ready to fly out provided you cut the rope that holds them back. Try it out once and you will be surprised to see the results for yourself.

The question to the mentees is trickier. Do you feel yourself being stifled by your mentor and not being allowed enough freedom to do what you would experiment based on your learning? If so, you now have a responsibility to clearly articulate that to your mentor. Most of the mentors will understand. Else find the courage to break-free from the shackles of such patronizing mentorship and push your boundaries with a never-before tried courage so that you will realize sky is not the limit.

While I know it is a thin line that differentiates the two types of mentorships, my earnest wish to all mentors and mentees out there is to listen to your hearts and do what is right!