Can you cry in the office?

I recently attended a farewell party of a colleague. To say it was quite an emotional event will be an understatement. Words of gratitude flowed, but what flowed even more were tears. A few women whom I’ve appreciated for their boldness and super strong personalities were crying like babies during the farewell. I could see empathy on a few faces that stood around whereas very few even scorned at them. Hugs and kisses were galore as tissue boxes were replaced one after the other. Emotions were doing a crazy roller coaster ride during the day.

A few people took efforts to pacify those who couldn’t stop their tears. But there were a couple of them who even went to the extent of asking those who cry to hold their tears and be brave. A bunch of questions came to my mind. Is it ok to cry in office? Are tears a sign of weakness? Do you really need to be stone faced when exposed to a barrage of emotions? If you are close to your colleague, is it ok to shed a few tears when he or she says goodbye to you as they move on in their career?

The answer is quite simple. Look at ourselves. Office or otherwise we are human beings made of flesh and blood. We have an extremely complicated mind that is subject to a wide variety of emotions, day in and day out. As part of a corporate culture, many a times we define a boundary for expressing our emotions while in office or among the colleagues. This leads to a situation for most of us where we contain our emotions deep down in our mind and do not let it go.

Blessed are those who could open up and expose themselves in front of their colleagues irrespective of the dictated norms of the corporate life. Tears in this case, I’ll say, are an absolute sign of strength, since you’ve been strong enough not to care about the eyes that scan you for your social behaviour in an office.

For those who choose not to cry, it isn’t a bad thing either. It could be your personality that do not let you go off your emotions when they truly start to build up in you. Where it goes wrong is when you are indeed overwhelmed with emotions and yet you build a dam in your mind to stop those tears from falling with a pseudo belief in the social norms.

Blessed are those who could let go off the rules that tie you down with social taboos and instead hug a colleague who is bidding adieu about whom you genuinely care. Being strong does not mean being mean. You could still be strong or stronger by expressing your genuine emotions whether you are with your family or with your colleagues.

Lend your ears to the human being within you and tell yourself that it is absolutely ok to cry, even if it is in office!

Portraits of a manager

Managers, they come in all shapes and sizes. More importantly if they are to be a portrait on a corporate wall they’ll definitely resemble one or other beings or things around us. Here is a take on portraying the various managers from my experience of working with a bunch of them till date.

Microscope: This is a genre of managers who love to have a deeper sense of understanding of anything and everything that goes on with their team. They can’t stand being far off from the team and ensure that the team does not miss their presence at all during every course of action. It takes a lot of perseverance to continue working with these type of managers since you need to be at your best not just once, but forever! Though it could be quite demanding, you’ll possibly see the benefit of working with people like these in the long run.

Loud Speaker: The way these people talk! They talk and not just that, they ensure the world around them know when they talk. These are the managers who prefer to be quite loud with their words and actions that the people who work with them need to have an armour that could protect them from embarrassment each time they are with their bosses. It is not necessary that these are the bad guys, just that they love all the attention. There is also a possibility that you may have lots of fun with such bosses and may even end up like them someday.  

Robots: Process, process, process! Managers who absolutely stick to laid down processes can at times be taxing especially if you are not a process oriented person yourself. For the rest of them, your life with these people can be as good as driving a car blindfolded. You don’t have to worry about blind spots at all since these people will ensure that there are none. They usually love those who can be systematic and tend to develop a great sense of disappointment towards the rest who cannot follow a defined path.

Parents: These are specifically those managers who develop a parental affection towards you. These people, obviously are highly emotional beings. Working with them can only be in extremes, depending on the genetic nature of parenthood they inherited. It could either be the easiest person to work with or the most difficult one to please irrespective of your highest level of productivity. All is fair in love!

The Wall: Probably one of the most challenging among the portraits. These people can be absolutely a nightmare with the nature of being a wall where none of your thoughts or suggestions can penetrate them. They are born with a mind that cannot be tuned to understand the concept of listening. It may be best to find an alternate option if you have a strong personality yourself. Else God save you. 

Einstein: This is a bonus! To work with managers who are a constant source of innovative ideas is a blessing. Not something you are bound to get very often, but if you ever happened to work with one try not to lose them. As is the case with many good things, there can be a different side for this as well. All innovations do not always result in production. Hence some of the activities you’ll be involved will rarely see the light of the day. Nevertheless one thing is always guaranteed. You’ll never have a boring day at work!

Gladiator: You should be truly luck to work with someone like this. They’ll die for you! These are the managers who knows your true potential and will go to any extend to ensure that the world around sits and notices you as well. They are the true blue genre of managers who deeply appreciate your capabilities and values your presence as a team member for eternity.

The Fox: The name itself says it. Probably the type of managers you need to be really careful with. These are the ones who don’t mean what they say. If you are too naïve you won’t survive them for long. Learn to tackle them and that’s your only means for existence.

The list is endless. There are many more portraits of managers that we can draw and hang on the wall. We see them all around us every other day.

So what’s the portrait that you want to paint?

Business of Analysis

Quite often I come across people who have no clue about what a Business Analyst does. I try to tell them in simple language about understanding business requirements and solving business problems by providing them with right solutions. Each time I explain these fundamental concepts to these people, my mind keeps telling me that there are more to this Business of Analysis than what a traditional definition tells you about this role. Here are a few quick thoughts from my experience as a BA.

Beyond the tools: As an analyst you invariably end up using quite a few tools to do your job. The techniques for gathering requirements, methods of analysis and documentation tools to name a few. Do these really matter for your customer? The primary question she’ll have in her mind is does this person understand what I need? Can he figure out the pain I go through so that he provides me with a solution to get rid of it. The business does not really care if you use Tool X or Y, all what they need from you is to empathize with them, understand their challenges and help them solve the issues they face. The primary intention is getting the problem solved, anything extra will be a bonus that adds to the customer delight.

Know the end game: Most of the times the business point of contact you may have are not the end users of the application. It is expected that you develop a sense of understanding about the challenges from an end user perspective before proposing any solution. Hence it is quite crucial not to miss to include end users in discussions so that you don’t miss the boat. The expensive rework that you see sometimes can be attributed to non-compliance of this idea.

Own it up: Yes, it is a business challenge you are trying to solve. But the moment your customer feels that you consider this as your problem as well, you’ve won the customer halfway. Ownership of challenges and co-creation of solutions are quite critical in terms of business acceptance.

Listen & Talk: This is a tricky one. You need to realize when to talk and when to listen. Even the friendliest customer you ever had can get annoyed if you do not maintain a balance between these. There is no shortcut for this except to use your common sense.

Befriend the devil in detail: Never forget the golden rule that the devil is in the detail. The one point you may have missed to elaborate may turn out to be the most critical part needed for the right solution. Hence don’t shy away from shaking hands with this devil. All what you need to ensure is not to get lost in the details which again can be quite easy.

Blind spots: Never leave your customer stranded. Good news or bad, let them be aware. For all that matter your customer may have a solution for your trouble. Business analysis is all about mutual understanding and trust.

Row together: Finding solutions for business challenges is not a game that you play alone. You need to row the boat together. Learn to respect the person at the helm and get this going. You’ll never know when you need to fire from a more powerful shoulder.

Empower the weak links: One of the most important aspects of Business Analysis is to keep your extended team in confidence. Architect, Technical Lead, Developers, Testers and many more. They all play crucial roles. Business Analysis alone has never delivered any solutions ever! You can play a pivotal role in empowering any of the weak links of the chain thereby empowering yourself.

I remember telling one of the interviewers a while ago that Business Analysis is not a rocket science. I still share the thought with the added flavor that Business Analysis is an art of getting into the brain of people not forgetting to understand the science of how they run their business. You need to be an artist and a scientist at the same time in order to achieve the delicate balance of providing a cost-effective solution and winning a delightful customer! 

Get up buddy!

I remember attending a major event in my life when I was in class 8 a couple of decades back. There was an institute named ‘Universal’ in my small home town of Changanacherry. They were having a very unique exhibition for which my dad took me and my brother. That was the first time ever in my life I saw this magical machine called ‘computer’. They showed us a CPU, a monitor, a keyboard and even a Floppy Disk! There was a wonderful game running on the black and white monitor which was called ‘Prince of Persia’. That day, little did I realize that these machines will have a major influence in my future life!

Years went by and computers in various shapes, sizes and colors have become part of our routine. It has become so much an integral part of our lives that it is almost impossible to spend a day without interacting with these brilliant innovations in one form or other. This also means that many of us tend to spend a considerable amount of time in front of these mean machines every day at work or at home.

A good number of professions around the world demand spending a lot of time at a stretch in front of these machines. Professions such as IT, Banking & Finance, Insurance, Customer Service and many more make you glued to your chairs for most part of the day staring at the monitors where your work gets done. This has a serious impact on one vital part of your body; your spine or backbone!

The human backbone is like a multistorey building where bones are stacked on top of each other with a disc in between each one. Bones as you know are pretty strong, but be aware of the fact that the discs are made of a softer material with a tough outer portion and a jelly like inner portion. These are meant to act as shock absorbers and as ligaments that hold the spine intact.

What’s important to note is the fact that the longer you remain in a specific position the more pressure you give to these building blocks. This leads to increased pressure to the discs and over a period of time the jelly like portion won’t be able to withstand the pressure anymore and will come out by tearing the tougher outer portion. This leads to reduced shock absorbing capacity for your backbone as well as added pressure to your spinal cord. So any extra load on your spinal cord will have an immediate impact on your health!

The symptoms usually start with minor back pain which increases over a period of time. It is extremely important not to ignore these minor pains and let it worsen to reach a point of no-return. The more serious scenarios are disc herniation commonly known as slip disc or to make it worse a complete paralysis resulting from a damaged spinal cord! The age old saying perfectly fits here. Prevention is better than cure.

There are many things including regular exercise that we could do to avoid such a situation. Here is a pretty simple action that you could do to save yourself from the perils of this obvious danger. Many of us who sit in front of the computers for a long time tend to forget to get up in between. It is important to take a quick break every half an hour at least by simply standing up for a few seconds giving the much needed relaxation for your backbone.

Most of us access official mails on one of the E-mail providers such as Outlook, Lotus Notes etc. There will be a reminder functionality on these applications. Set up a reminder for every 30 minutes that will pop-up to give you a message ‘Get up buddy!’ The moment you see the message just do the simple act of getting up from your chair and look somewhere else other than your monitor. This has a double benefit of providing a relaxation for both your spine and your eyes. If possible you could move around a bit before coming back to your seat. Once back on your seat, snooze the task so that it’ll remind you again in the next 30 minutes. Follow this regularly.

This is one of the easiest activities to follow to ensure that you do not overburden your spine. This will at least help you remember to do a simple activity that has a long term benefit. Go ahead and set up the reminder. The best buddies are the ones who really care for you. May this reminder be your best buddy while working on your computers!

Tail End: Don’t think that people who do not sit and work have nothing to worry. As I mentioned earlier, the longer you remain in a specific position, bigger the impact is. Ensure that you give your spine a chance to relax at regular intervals.

Wishing you a happy & healthy life! 

The Fox Story

One morning, towards the fag end of my breakfast, I was trying my best to get a raisin stuck on the bottom of my breakfast flask in which I get my oats enriched with dry fruits.Sitting in my office cabin, I must have painted a very interested picture for anyone who passed by. Peering into the flask and holding it high I was hitting the bottom of the container quite hard.

The executive secretary to the Senior Vice President of one of the divisions I work with happened to walk past my cabin at that auspicious moment. She was heading for an important meeting but guess couldn’t help but look at me with curiosity while stopping momentarily at my desk. The next thing I heard was her exclaiming, “There is nothing in it and stop hitting the flask!”

How much more embarrassing could it get. Nevertheless being a lesser fox I continued with my attempt to claim the last one standing or rather stuck on the bottom of that cylindrical steel object. The raisin, a white one that too, seemed to be determined to avoid my taste buds. It was clinging to its precious life and had no plans ever to come down from that position.

I hit harder, circled the flask and tried all possible coaxing to make the raisin release its clutches. I even tried smearing it with whatever little of the liquid that remained in the flask. A few further hard blows and the lesser immortal being had no other option but to succumb to its fate.

Off it came right into the wagging tongue that awaited this elusive little piece of exotic dry fruit belonging to the family of grapes. The teeth, the tongue and the taste buds started their work quite fast and soon the little raisin was heading towards the world of primary storage of food in a human body.

The raisin was meant to pay for all the efforts and the embarrassment I had to go through. As destiny would have it and was meant to be as ironic as it could get, this last little piece of dried grapes for which I tried really hard and finally managed to get, turned out to be a really sour one!

For the first-time I felt a bit of respect to that legendary fox.  

The Balancing Act

*** My article that was published in the monthly magazine of Bethlehem Matrimonial April 2011 edition. This is about maintaining a balance between professional and personal life along with coping up with the status change from Single to Married.

A couple of years ago there was a shuffling in my team in the company where I worked, which resulted in me reporting to two managers at a time. Both of them were pretty senior in the organization and had their respective families with kids as well. Soon did I realize the striking difference in their management style where one was totally process centric whereas the other was more of face-as-it-comes type!

Coffee time with my managers provided insights into their family lives as well. Office hours used to end only by 8 PM everyday for the former while the latter was very specific about leaving office on dot to spend time with his family. This does not mean the first guy was less affectionate as during our conversations I had always sensed how proud he is, being a father of two especially with the second child being a spastic one.

Years passed by and it was my turn to say aloha to my bachelorhood. I was blessed with the presence of these two managers during my wedding. Little did I know that learning from others is just the tip of an iceberg when it comes to leading a family life; the bigger part was buried under the deeper waters of life! Slowly I started to figure out the magnitude of what is facing me.

The Bible taught us about the origin of human kind and how they spent their life together. There are numerous lives detailed out in this Holy Book of Christians which speaks about family life. While these details do help, hardly have I seen relationships pictured in the backdrop of the balancing act between professional and personal life.

Relationships, I realize is an ongoing process. This holds good for all sorts of couples, the ones that have fallen in love or the ones who decided to fall in love. In the first case a stage is set in the beginning and the characters perform with ease. For some, the stage becomes too familiar after a while that the whole arrangement turns out to be mundane. The second case on the contrary is about those who need to build the stage itself even before they think of performing. This becomes even more challenging since their decision to fall in love needs to be justified with their actions.

Whichever Act you are part of, the fact remains pretty clear. Our relationships need to be nurtured with an investment in time and ideas. This is all the more important if we are a working couple. All of us agree that we need a source of income, be it from a job or business to sail through the waves of life. I strongly believe that we also need to agree that we work to live and not live to work.

Irrespective of the family background someone grew up or the social circle they had or the educational and professional experiences thereof, the need for being together is a basic factor for any couple. The word itself says so, you become a couple not to be single anymore. Of course it does pose its own challenges.

In most of the cases, more than a quarter of our lives were lived without having to negotiate with anyone in particular, of course within the constraints of our family. The moment we decide to say ‘Yes’ the status get changed. This is something we need to remind ourselves often so as to appreciate the necessity of investing in time and ideas in our lives.

Making time for each other is a much needed virtue for couples who have known each other before getting married or otherwise. I am pretty sure most of us have heard people saying they know all the preferences of their partner. I remember a statement from a friend of mine, ‘it is plain silliness to say I know everything about my partner, since it is inevitable that people change, so do their preferences’. That leads to the question, what can we do about it? The answer is quite simple, spent time with each other. The bigger question then will be, how do we do it? The answer is, it is up to us to figure out how, since each couple is unique and we need to design what suits us. All what others or books could tell us are their perspectives. Customizing those suggestions in our lives is the key.

One of my bosses used to have a firm policy that he shall not answer the office calls on his mobile phone after office hours. His thought was crisp and clear. The time spent in office is for office and the time spent with family is exclusively for them. Of course this may not suit all professions, hence the need of customization.

Another interesting aspect is the often repeated statement of ‘don’t bring office work home’. I guess this is one of the most vital elements in creating time for family and hence the fact that the statement still holds so much of value even after generations of use. This must not stop you from speaking to your partner about what happened at office that day. A small act like this helps each other get a picture of what you endure on a daily basis. Ensure that you don’t go beyond the limits that you have nothing else to discuss! It is all about maintaining a logical balance between what happens in your life at work and at home.

If you have noticed there was a second type of investment I mentioned in one of sections above. ‘Ideas’. It is a brilliant tool which enables us in this balancing act. Each one of us have been bestowed with this divine gift. The ability to think and be creative! Use this gift to generate simple, workable ideas in our minds to make those time spent with our partner more effective and meaningful.

Surprises are one of the best gifts with which you could make your sweetheart jump up with joy. The important thing to remember is that surprises need not be expensive always. Surprises could be anything ranging from a totally new dish prepared, a bunch of flowers, an early morning cup of coffee or a loving hug from behind when it was least expected! All these and more could make a huge difference in the quality of time spent amidst the maddening rush in our lives to make both the ends meet!

Tail End: If you ever thought something is unrealistic, think again. Everything in life can be made realistic, provided you yearn for it!