The Push!

Year 2001, first year in the new millennium and I was happily walking towards the terrace of my college hostel in Coimbatore along with a bunch of my friends. We were to attend the flag hoisting ceremony to mark the 54^th year of Mountbatten handing over the baton of power to Nehru.
 

The college principal being the ex-officio warden of our hostel was the one to hoist the flag. The ceremony was done with due reverence in the presence of hundreds of hostel inmates. The hostel building which reminded me of the cellular jail in Andaman, though not exactly in terms of the structure, was capable of accommodating more than 400 students. A learned discourse followed in perfect Tamil when the principal of course highlighted the struggle our forefathers had gone through to get us this freedom which we now enjoy free of cost.

Being my first year in Tamil Nadu and not that proficient in Tamil yet, I experienced the same struggle my forefathers did to perhaps understand the emotional words of wisdom that came out from the veteran principal. Nevertheless since patriotism does not need a language to describe I could still manage to figure out the critical aspects of his speech.

It was customary for someone from the hostel to give a return address after the principal finishes his speech. I was standing right in front of the crowd who had gathered in a circle around the flag pole. I could see a whole bunch of seniors and super seniors standing right behind me and was expecting any one of them to start with their return address.

Those were the days when you were expected to be quite respectful towards your seniors lest invite their wrath which will prove to be pretty difficult to survive in the hostel later. Hence seniors used to be in the limelight for all possible functions and juniors will await a day when their turn will come for taking the centre stage. Such thoughts went through my mind and were probably even thinking of a day when I’ll step forward to give a wonderful speech filled with patriotism uplifting the spirit of the nation and reminding everyone to be thankful to our previous generations for the freedom we enjoy today!

What happened next was not even in my wildest of the dreams! All I remember was feeling a very powerful hand right on my back which pushed me to the centre of the circle where the principal was eagerly awaiting for someone to come forward to give the return address. All these happened in a flash that it took a few seconds for me regain my composure. I could suddenly feel 400 pairs of eyes directly staring at me as if an animal of prey is about to pounce on its victim! All my words that formed the soul stirring speech that was part of my day dream a moment ago seem to have gone into an eternal hiding. I could not even utter a single syllable; forget about natural flowing sentences which have to be contextual as well.

Guess times like these generate a very specific hormone in human body which initially creates an excessive amount of fear which either turns you into a zombie-like mental state or wakes up the Phoenix within you which arises from the ashes of the fear that is burned! Goddess of fortune was with me on that day and out came the very first extempore I delivered in my life till then.

The Phoenix continues its flight till date and I’m happy for that hand-of-God that pushed me to the unknown territories which I explored quite heavily afterwards...

When I first realized…

I was watching some TV show on a lazy Saturday morning, sitting on my couch at the hotel where I've been staying for a month now. Being abroad has its own good and bad sides as you could possibly think about anything else in life too. WalMart showed up in between with a very emotional ad featuring a mom helping her son set up his hostel room and letting him be his own soon after. It was pretty obvious that it was his first time away from home!

Isn't it kind of interesting the way your mind switches between the present and past? I must say, it didn't even take a fraction of a second for my mind to do that! It took me back to that courtyard right in front of my hostel room in Coimbatore. That was the very first time for me too. Needless to say my dad and mom were with me. I was concerned, so were they. Its not that I can't be away, but just that the first times are always difficult. The very thought that your kid is gonna be away from home must've been painful for them. For me, it was a new world, a new life and a new beginning. For them, they go back to their old world with one good thing lesser to be around.

I'm not sure if they realized then, but I guess they did eventually, that their son has grown up and the most natural thing for a parent to do is to let him go. They didn't fret, at least not in front of me. Might have cried to each other and I could visualize dad & mom telling each other, it is for his good!

I remember that day when they helped me buy some stuff needed for the hostel room. Carried them along with me to the place and helped set it up. I also recollect that mom didn't say much, though I could figure out how heavy her heart must've felt. I don't remember if she cried, but I'm sure she did once she started back. Dad never expressed much but I knew that, deep inside he loved me so much! They both just asked me to take care and left me to start my new life. They pretty much were aware of how important it is for me to get away from being taken care of. I need to learn. I need to live. It is gonna be my life!

Dad, mom, I don't know what made me so lucky to have you as my parents! Thank you for being there and thank God for joining us. I love you both so much!!!