Tracks of life

Almost a decade back, there used to be a track on which a lone train used to ply for close to three decades. He had very few stops and never had to give way for another train since the track was exclusively used by him. Given this luxury, he ran at speeds he wished and did whatever he pleased. But interesting enough not even once he got derailed and always remained faithful to the track.

One fine day a parallel track came into picture and a beautiful train started to run next to him. She was elegant, poised and much more sensible. He loved her company and enjoyed the trips together. With the additional track came the need for managing the network better and so came Station Masters who laid down the rules of running. Schedule suddenly became important and that was one major change for him and for her too. Though there were initial resistance to change they got used to it soon.

While the tracks mostly ran parallelly there were times when they had to cross their paths. They did that gracefully and soon were joined by two little tracks in a few years. Two smaller trains ran on these tracks and the railway network expanded adding further importance to schedule and time. All trains were running smooth. Except for a few hiccups here and there, by and large the network was quite good.

Everything was good except for that time of the year when he had to part ways with her and the two little trains for their annual maintenance and overhaul. This was when the trains returned to their garages leaving him high and dry. The three lines that run parallel to him were now empty. Though momentary, this emptiness was killing him.

He could neither go back to the days of pre-schedule nor ply with rules laid down. This suspended way of operation always took a toll on him. He was reminded of the very solitude that almost drove him crazy a decade back. His tolerance level was much lower now.

Nevertheless ply he did, looking forward to the day when the network restarted operations with the beautiful train and the little Chuggingtons back in action! Till then the choo-choo must go on... 

Pappam or Papam?

One of the most recent debates that is taking rounds in the social media during March 2018 is attributed to a cover photo on a Malayalam magazine. Published from Kerala, the southernmost state in India, portrays a mother who is feeding her baby and has a tagline that says “Moms to Kerala: Don’t stare, we need to breastfeed”.

The girl in the picture is in fact a model who posed with the baby of a mother who was also present during the photoshoot. The big question that is trending now is, ‘Was she / magazine right in doing this’? There are quite a few supporters as well as critics for the assignment taken up by the young model.

The more I think about this debate, two words in Malayalam come to my mind. First one is ‘Pappam’ a term which babies use to denote the most natural feeding bottle available in the world. Second one is ‘Papam’ which means ‘sin’.

It is quite a strange situation that a simple organ in human body is looked at with such a wide spectrum of meanings. What is stranger is the fact that, sheer perception of human beings is what gives one the most innocent and an almost divine aspect whereas the other makes it an object that precipitates a state of a sin being committed that the society almost considers it a taboo!

A baby says ‘Pappam’ and look forward to the mother for quenching her hunger. The act by which the mother and baby becomes one again, is probably the only time after the umbilical cord gets severed. It is an experience something short of being one with God where you take part in sustenance of life on Earth!

The other side of debate borders around topics of sexuality and societal norms that demands women to cover their chest while feeding or otherwise. It is quite interesting to observe that not long ago, when caste system prevailed, there was a revolt in the state of Kerala among the lower castes fighting for their right to cover their chest!

Back to the big question, what is right? I doubt if we’ll ever get a single answer. What is the right thing to do when the same object is perceived by some as a symbol of selfless love and others as eternal icon of lust?

We’ve both sets of people around us and hence I think it is wise to leave it to the prudence of mothers to apply their judgement on what to do when they’ve to feed their little ones. You’ve a million pairs of eyes staring at your chest, of which some are of babies whereas others definitely not; both with an intention to satisfy hunger, with totally different perspectives!

Love your baby & stay safe!

Laundry Basket Theory

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Jul 2016

As is the case with most of the homes we also have a laundry basket in which all the clothes that need to be washed are stored. Every time we take a set of clothes to the washing machine we carefully separate the dark colored ones lest their colors affect the lighter ones. We also separate those clothes that cannot be machine washed and together they go back to the laundry basket.

This practice continued for a while till we reached a day when the basket got piled up with such clothes that cannot be washed in the machine. We’d a problem in hand! The basket will never get empty with this pile of clothes and we started worrying about how to resolve this since manually washing that pile of clothes in one day was an impossible task. We decided to do something smarter.

Every day we started to soak one of the clothes each from the pile which could not be washed in the machine. On a given day even when we had clothes washed in the machine it was not a burden to wash this one piece manually. As days progressed the pile of clothes that had to be hand washed became smaller and smaller and soon enough our laundry basket was totally empty! Suddenly we had nothing to worry about with respect to the laundry.

Do you see any similarity to this laundry basket to the tensions we’ve in our lives? Over a period of time we accumulate quite a lot of matters in our life about which we are constantly tensed. The thoughts about these items that create stress for you get piled up one on top of the other just like the laundry that needs to be hand washed. Nothing seems to be getting resolved and to make it worse many more get added to the list. Your frustration gets the better of you and you start to snap at every minor incident that affects you and more importantly the people around you.

We should learn to apply here the technique of washing I mentioned earlier. It’ll never help if you try to solve all your challenges together. You’ll neither be able to focus on all of them nor resolve even a single challenge. It is better to tackle them one by one if feasible. Specifically address the issues one after the other and find the resolution to remove them from the list of challenges. After a while you’ll be really happy to see the mountain of challenges getting reduced to a tiny hill or even better.

Have you ever driven or been in a car during an extremely heavy rain with the wiper of the vehicle struggling to clear the large volume of water on the windshield? You’ll experience how difficult it is to drive in such a condition since the road ahead is not clear. You may even have to stop the car for a while till the heavy rains subside. The situation is pretty much the same in our life when we’ve a heap of challenges and we find it quite a struggle to proceed any further. Instead of losing hope we should ideally try this approach of resolving the issues one by one. This is as good as taking a break from driving when you can’t move ahead due to the poor visibility of the path ahead.

Always remember that there isn’t a challenge in this world that cannot be resolved. The degree with which you’ll find a solution for your one challenge may vary from the other. Nevertheless if you approach the challenges all together it may seem to be a daunting task and you may possibly end up not solving anything at all. Hence here is my humble suggestion for you to approach your challenges one step at a time and see if you could reduce the pile of problems you are facing.

So the next time when you see your laundry basket, remind yourself that your tensions are just like that basket. Nothing will be difficult for us if we learn to change our perception about challenges and constantly remind ourselves about this laundry basket theory.

May the good God help you wash off your tensions one cloth at a time! Take care!  

Decided! But…

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - May 2016

Wish I had waited for the latest model!

Oh! I should’ve got the other dress!

This pair of shoes isn’t really that good, is it?!

How often have you heard yourself or your dear ones make statements such as these after spending your hard earned money on an item? Many a times we get afterthoughts about a decision we have made. While it is quite natural to get these afterthoughts, what we should really be worried is if these afterthoughts begin to affect your happiness.

Many of us spent a considerable amount of time before deciding to invest on an item of interest. The more expensive the item is, the more time it takes to decide on the product. After all the considerations about the cost, design, usability and various other aspects of an item, we finally purchase the product and bring it home.

For a few of us, the moment we step into our home our brain starts playing weird games. It makes you think about the decision you just made. Various complex thought processes pass through your mind about the pros and cons of the decision. Many often the final outcome of all these thought processes will be similar to one of the expressions mentioned in the beginning of this article.

If you are one such human being who has experienced this behavior in your lives, here is a quick thought of how it affects your dear ones. Questioning your decision after investing a considerable time before taking the decision has a two-fold impact. First, you are showing disrespect to one of the most valuable resources in the world – Time! Second you are insulting both yourself and your companion who was with you while making the decision by not giving any value for the effort spent while you reached the decision.

There is another equally important impact of having an indecisive personality such as above. Your indecisiveness makes you forget to live and appreciate the present. You perennially live in the past and are judgmental about the decisions you made. This is an extremely dangerous condition since you’ll never be able to appreciate the beauty of a possession you have. You’ll always want to have something better than what you have currently obtained. The fall side of this is the fact that you fail to observe the beauty that surrounds you and instead you keep searching for the momentary happiness that is yet to be found.

Though what is mentioned here sounds more materialistic this is applicable for any aspect of life. It is not just about products or items, but can be applied about people as well. There are quite a few folks around us leading a very unhappy life citing the partners they’ve got or the troubles they have to face in life due to some members in their families. Such people as in constant pain and they will never be able to find any sort of happiness around them. These people will never be satisfied with whatever they possess and it is extremely difficult for them to appreciate the little joys of life.

Next time when you are unhappy about a decision you’ve made, ask yourself if it is really worth being not happy about the decision or is it the brain that is making you think this way. If so, take a break and make a conscious effort to find a tiny bit of happiness in the same decision. You’ll really be surprise to see that the first reason of happiness you find will lead to more and more of happiness about the same decision. The irony will be, after a while you’ll be ridiculing yourself for questioning the happiness of the same decision a while ago.

Our brain is as powerful as what we teach it. If you want to remain happy, teach your brain to be happy! God bless you with an abundant amount of opportunity to remain happy throughout your life! 

Mug the Challenge!

Lush green paddy fields, gentle ripples of backwaters and wells with water as pure as a mountain spring; all these and many more painted the picture around the small town in which I was born and brought up. Scarcity of water is something that was unheard of during my childhood. In addition, the water we needed at home was always drawn from the well and we never received a paper with the title ‘Water Bill’.

The picture got slightly blurred when I first moved out of my town to my neighbouring state for higher studies. I was first introduced to the concept of ‘hard water’. It was quite difficult initially to get used to this different genre of water. It was there I first saw this strange sight of people buying mineral water in bulk. It was strange since there was a drinking water dispenser at the college hostel from where many of us took water from. When asked I was told that they use mineral water for head bath since hard water will spoil the hair. Imagine the kind of money people spent for this!

Life moved on and soon I was in the metropolitan city of Bangalore. For the first time in my life I had to buy drinking water for my daily consumption since there was no supply of drinking water at the place where I stayed. On top of this an additional amount started appearing on my monthly expense statements. I started paying water bills though the amount was quite minimal compared to the electricity bills.

A few years later I got married and as destiny had its way, we ended up in the desert kingdom of Dubai. One fine day after our first month in Dubai we received a bill from Dubai Electricity and Water Authority. How would you feel if you get struck with a heavy-duty sledgehammer? That’s the status we were in, seeing the amount for the water we consumed. It was a shocker to realize that we really need to pay more for water than power!

Thinking about this transition itself is quite dreadful! From a literally free supply of water to rationed supply of hard water to nominal payment for consumed water and finally to a state where we end up paying more for water than electricity itself! It was high time we realized the path we are heading to. We had to do something really drastic to reduce the consumption of this limited natural resource.

One of the solutions appeared in the form of a simple item present in our bathroom. An innocent little mug! When we started looking at our water usage, we realized that the washbasin tap is a big culprit who contributes to the scary numbers on our water bill. It never dawned on us till then the quantity of water that gets lost while using the tap. Most of us don’t realize that when a tap is opened we end up losing more water than what we really need. Do you have the habit of holding water in your open palm to wash your face or to brush your teeth or for any other morning routine? Next time you do this; notice the amount of water that flows out of your hand as well as from the tap against the actual amount of water you really use. The delta will be huge!

Our approach was quite simple. We started using the mug to hold water from the tap and use exactly the quantity that we needed. This helped us to reduce our water consumption quite significantly! The water bills in this part of the world, where lives are built on top of a desert, continue to be high. Nevertheless each drop thus saved directly added to our piggy bank.

You are not just doing yourself a favour, but in fact you are saving this depleting natural resource for your kids and the generations to come! A simple change with a huge impact!

So, do you have it in you to take up this challenge?! 

The Last Turn

He was waiting at a signal couple of blocks away from home when the phone rang. The lovely face of his sweetheart showed up on the mobile screen. The signal was still red and he quickly answered the call enabling the speaker mode.

“Where have you reached?”

“Almost there”.

“Hey listen, mom had called and she reminded about the insurance premium payment.”

“Oh yeah, I totally forgot! We never got around the plan to double the premium to make the policy better. Something or other keeps coming in between and we keep pushing this out. Let us do it at least this time”.

The signal had turned green and he was a bit late to realize that. A couple of honks from behind and he took the car ahead.

“Just a minute, let me cross the signal. You know the traffic is getting crazy off late. The city was much better a couple of years back.”

“Be careful!”

“Of course sweetheart, don’t you know I care for you and our little one?”

“That I do, but I’ve always told you not to speak on the phone while you drive”.

“Oh that’s alright, I’m on speakers. But I guess I’m running out of battery”.

“Hmm... Btw, Junior had a great day at school! He could identify the pictures of all the animals shown. Our son is a smart cookie, isn’t it?”

“Absolutely! Where’s the little rascal? Give the phone to him”.

“Papa Papa, where are you? Guess what, I got a prize in school today!”

“Great news son! Proud of you! Papa will be home soon and will have a surprise for you! Now give the phone to mom”.

“Hey, I’m almost there. Do I need to buy anything today?”

“Nope. You just come home. Where are you now?”

“I’m nearing the last turn”.

She got out to the balcony along with the tiny one and could see his car coming.

“Hey we see the car Papa!”

“Oh yeah, I can see you as well standing there at the balcony. I’ll be home in a...”

What he didn’t see was the huge truck taking a reverse that got in his way. He was at the last turn at a speed of 60 Mph and had his eyes fixed on the balcony waving at his sweetheart and the little one.

The mobile screen still showed her face, though now it was coloured all red! The last thing he heard was a familiar voice of the RJ from the FM station.

“Please don’t use your mobile phone while driving”.

The phone went dead.

The Butterfly Teacher

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Sep 2014

A few weeks back I was sitting at one of the local restaurants awaiting my take away order to be ready. While sipping the tea ordered in between, I noticed an interesting paper lying on the table. It had a picture of a butterfly with numerous paths traced through its body and had a statement on top which said ‘Find Way Out’. 

Reminded me of the good old childhood when numerous such way finding puzzles were part of children’s magazines and was indeed a pleasure to solve each of them. It did not take much time for me to take out my pen and start tracing the path to find my way out of the maze. Needless to say I lost my way in between and at times the path took me to a dead end too. After a few attempts I was quite happy to have found my way out of the seemingly impossible task. I solved the puzzle and breathed an air of happiness. As if celebrating my success the hotel guys delivered my take away parcel at that moment of joy!

I drove back home with the parcel. That’s when I realized that the butterfly was also flying with me making me think about what just happened. She made me look back at my life which many a times is more like the puzzle that I now solved. We all try to find our way out of many such puzzles in life. Every day we face tasks that seem to be difficult. The challenge the butterfly keeps in front of us is to attempt finding a solution for these tasks. The secret lies in trying and once you are in the maze you need to find a way out.

Just like the paths that confused me in the puzzle, most of the challenges pose some sort of confusion. It is indeed a test to find the right way forward. You might suddenly hit a road block while you thought you were going ahead in the right path. The dead end does not mean it is the end of the world. What is important is to remember that a dead end also has a way to it. The way back. It is always a good thing to go back and learn from your own mistakes. Find the place where you took a wrong turn and correct your path from there. 

The butterfly tells me again that it is quite important not to lose hope if you don’t find the way out in the first attempt. The mantra is to keep trying till you find the right way. Guess what is the easiest thing to do when things go wrong? Feel disappointed and let go the challenge. That’s what everyone with a weak heart does in this world. It takes a bit of courage to say, there could be other paths that could help you to find your way out. 

There was another critical lesson the butterfly taught me. She said, many of us make a common mistake while treading the paths in our life. We all take the way forward and some of us are strong enough not to lose hope even if the path leads to a dead end. But a lot us do not look far ahead to make sure if the track we are on is really the right one. This piece of lesson is equally important as the earlier ones since this helps us to have a view of our life. 

Imagine constructing a house without drawing a plan. How do you think the house will end up finally? That’s why we invest in a good engineer to create a blue print and finalize the plan with the estimated cost before even starting the construction. Whatever changes that is required will be made throughout the project and finally we see an end result which goes well with the plan. How many of us apply this thought in our lives? How many of us draw plans for our lives? Do you invest time in doing this so that your path ahead is clear for you to proceed? 

I reached home along with these most valuable lessons the little butterfly taught me. Before saying goodbye to me she reminded me again of the three key things to be kept in mind. 

- There are challenges all around us. When you decide to face them, you have won half the battle.  

- Many a times you’ll hit a dead end. Remember to go back and learn from your mistakes to correct the path. 

- It is equally important to have a plan by looking ahead and make sure that the path you are on is indeed the correct one. 

I asked the butterfly what her name is. She smiled at me and before taking off she came close to my ears and whispered, ‘Gabriel’. 

Life cycle of dreams

We all have dreams and we try to achieve them. We struggle a lot in pursuing these dreams before we finally achieve it. The most logical thing to do is to live your dream once you achieve them.

 

Just like every other life, there needs to have an end date for living your dream. The moment you try to hang on to your dream it will start weighing you down mentally and later physically. We’re all designed to dream perpetually.

 

So when you feel disappointed with something, ask yourself the question. Am I nearing the expiry date of my dream? Is it worth hanging on? Else remind yourself to dream again.

 

Dream-Pursue-Achieve-Live-Kill-Dream again!

Where’s My Space?

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - March 2013
I had heard enough and more about the concept of space and how important it is in a married life. All the articles I’ve read till date have emphasized upon the need to give space to each other even though you promise to be together ‘until death do us part’. For someone who has been away from the family due to studies and job for almost eight years before getting married, to me this theory was nothing but an obvious aspect of married life.

I was a firm believer of this concept while I walked into the world of togetherness. Needless to say that I was in for some surprises since I was expecting the implementation of space in marriage at ease; this was not the case to be.I should admit that the individual in me got a higher priority during the initial years of marriage than the combined entity of ‘us’. Courtesy to the theory of space!

Soon, I realized that space is not the key aspect of life. We started discovering interests that were common to us. One of the biggest surprises that were in store for me was in the form of a TV show of which I had become a big fan during one of my assignments abroad in the US. The show being one which deals with criminal investigations with gruesome crime scenes, forensic science and autopsy procedures, the last thing I was expecting from my beloved was to come near the TV set while I was watching the show. To the greatest of my happiness she developed an interest for the show sometimes surpassing mine and our weekends became all the more interesting watching the show together with a much better vigor!

Multiple other experiences in our life evolved as we started rowing the boat of married life together. Many a things that were considered as ‘my interest’ became ‘our interest’. This was true for both of us. Be it the preferences for tea or coffee, having chappathy or rice for dinner, watch an English or Malayalam movie on a weekend; we were able to draw a middle line for these. These may seem very trivial, but once you start sharing your life with another person, tiny things like these may make or break your relationship. You need to be blessed enough to grow beyond these indifferences by finding the common grounds in the game of life you are in for together. As days passed by we didn’t even realize how ‘my space’ in our marriage was giving way to ‘our space’.

Finding ways of being together to share interests not only helps you develop an intimacy but also provides you with common topics to discuss. You’ll never be searching for something to talk when you have so much in common. These do not get created unless you put an effort to look beyond ‘my space’.

All said and done, we are not anti-space crusaders. There are hobbies and passions that we both cherish and find time to do that among all these. I love reading, probably a bit more than her. I used to crib initially that I do not get time anymore to do that. Now I find pockets of time here and there and it takes minimal effort for me to pick up a book and continue from where I left. She was keen to learn violin and found time to join a class while our little one was yet to stand on his tiny feet. We supported each other on these little joys of life.

In fact if I had used all the time I wasted complaining about not having my space, I would’ve done even more wonderful things than what I was able to accomplish otherwise! As I read somewhere, you became a couple to be that and not being single anymore. Knowing that there could be many things you could do together can be more fun than fighting for your space.

It is all about leading a life together and not two people sharing a house and calling it life.

Tea Time

It is a very interesting sight indeed to watch a whirlpool getting formed in the sauce pan when you boil tea with milk along with shreds of cardamom. The aroma of boiling tea seasoned with the best of breed cardamom from the winding ghats of Wayanad brought back a hoard of memories during tea time at various stages of life.

I remember reaching home after school around four o’ clock in the evening where a hot cup of milk mixed with the likes of Complan, Bournvita or Horlicks awaited me. There was hardly a day when this delicious cup of milk was not accompanied by any of the traditional tea time snacks from God’s Own Country. I was so excited when we got a free cup along with a one kilogram pack of Complan. I recollect the writing on the cup with Complan written in red color. That was meant to be my favorite cup for years to come.

Time flew by and I graduated from shorts to pants and so did the evening snacks. If frequent visitor programs existed at that time of history for retail outlets, I would’ve definitely been at least a gold member with the local bakery. The options you could get were minimal compared to these days though I distinctly remember having a huge craving for delicacies like butter buns, sweet nans, puffs and similar such stuff. The budget available of course was very minimal that you could hardly have one or two of these and that too occasionally. Probably that’s why these were precious and tasted heavenly!

Stepped into the campus mode where college canteens and other similar hangouts became a part of life. Tea time with family was becoming a rarity with this change. Nevertheless in that age and psyche it never posed any kind of regrets. That was the order of the day. Soon it was time to leave the town I was part of for 20 odd years and migrated to a totally alien city, the Manchester of South India - Coimbatore.

The steel tumblers of the college hostel welcomed us with options for coffee and tea with unlimited supply. We had formed a core group of friends and soon realized that the tea shops at the backyard of college campus hold much better goodies than the liberally liquidated tea or coffee which the hostel mess could offer. There I discovered to my amusement a wonder called half-tea! The hot samosas, chewy mushroom Manchurians and the little wonder served in the tiniest glasses called half-tea filled our evening discussions. The random flights that take off from the Coimbatore airport in the backdrop gave the whole evening a dramatic experience.

The garden city of India was my next destination. Bangalore redefines your way of life. My days there started with some learning at NIIT when I was staying along with my dearest cousin sister at our aunt’s place. Needless to say most of the tea time was back at home and I was happy to reclaim the days with family during evenings.

This was followed by a stint of project work at a small IT firm, one of the multitudes of technology companies in Bangalore, which if laid down on a map will give competition to the herds of wild beasts treading the Sub-Saharan terrain. I had moved to single room occupancy and the nearest tea shop became my usual place for evenings.

My career got officially kicked off shortly and the distance to office meant that I reach back home only for dinner. The catering company operating the office cafeteria was destined to get the tea bills paid by me for the next few years. Colleagues and friends were the tea-mates during this part of my life. The cups of tea witnessed the debates surrounding why that was a great place to work and why that wasn’t.

Seasons changed fifteen times and I was slated to take my first ever international flight as part of an assignment. Residence Inn, a property by Marriott was to be my abode for the next quarter. Here happened the biggest change in my tea time life. Marriott offered good options for tea and coffee. But it wasn’t that which attracted us the lesser mortals, from the land where you get to drink this only by paying a handsome amount. Beer! It was flowing and plenty that too! Tea time gave way to the sparkling yellow chilled drink and that was promptly supported with chips and hotdogs.

Few months down the line life took a full turn with marriage on cards and tea time resurrected with the concept of family taking center stage. The flavors of tea and coffee filled the home since the preferences were different. A middle line was drawn during this stage as depicted in an earlier post. Believe there is a direct proportion to the grey hair and the grey matter. As every other couple we also evolved. The middle line was not required any more. The tea time was unified again.

The land where ‘1001 Arabian Nights’ was born, laid down the magic carpet for us. Evenings in Dubai became even better with office hours finishing early, giving us ample time to be together and tea time has become even more fun. With the kid growing up it has turned into a full-fledged game of acrobatic-tea where you try your best to have a sip from the cup by skillfully avoiding the little fingers holding it and dragging it towards him.

I think it is all about life. Tea time.

Disliking Like!

I remember Peter, a friend of mine ridiculing me big time when I finally joined Facebook after quite a long resistance to join the bandwagon. I’d been blindly loyal to Orkut and was totally not ready to accept the fact that the world was migrating to FB! Nevertheless, it had to happen and I was pretty happy when it did.

Facebook turned out to be much better in terms of usability and features and not long after I moved to FB I had to relocate physically to Middle East where Orkut anyways was banned. Status updates, photo uploads and a bunch of activities followed. Among all these there is one specific feature I find totally disturbing! The ‘Like’ feature of FB.

I’ve to admit I had been a user of this feature to express my interest for some of the pictures or videos posted by friends or otherwise. I’ve been receiving a few ‘likes’ as well for the photos or status messages I post once a while. I do remember a few months back when I first told my sweetheart I wish there was an option to disable the ‘like’ feature in FB. It was beginning to annoy me since every time I upload a picture or post a message there was a flurry of activity in my account. 9/10 of these will be a ‘like’ by someone among my contacts.

The futility of this activity is what makes me think what exactly is the point? I really wonder if the person who ‘likes’ something really mean it. If they do, why not spent an extra few seconds and say that instead of being a lethargic victim to the technology marathon?! It seems to me more like a routine job being done rather than expressing an earnest opinion.

There have also been instances when the pop ups for ‘like’ gets hurled at you as if it was your mistake to post that status or upload that picture! It felt more like being fired at by a machine gun. I even wonder if these people have devised some sort of an algorithm to generate the likes as soon as an activity appears!

Maybe I’m old fashioned, maybe this is what I am, but I love it when people make an effort to tell you what they liked about something, rather than finish the job because you’ve an option there to do so by the slightest movement of the cursor!

Bottom Line: Communicate; do not constrain!

The Garden of Gods

Ever wondered what the connection is between leadership and a mythological, wish-fulfilling divine tree which finds a mentioning in the Rig Veda? Along with the Kamadhenu, or 'wish-giving cow', the Kalpavriksha originated during the Samudra manthan or "churning of the milk ocean", and the King of the gods, Indra returned with it to his paradise. While there is no attested Sanskrit source conclusively identifying this mythological tree with any real, known tree, Kalpavriksha can figuratively refer to a source of bounty because of its ability to amply provide for human needs. [Source: Wikipedia]

Let me take you to a beautiful garden in the Himalayas where the Gods have made a comfortable abode among the snow-clad peaks. Though there are no organized tours, people from across the world do flock-in and appreciate the lush green garden which by itself is a contrast among the white snow seen all around. The tourists tread across the vast expanse of the garden amidst the mighty Himalayas, taking in to their hearts everything that sustains there as a true epitome of eternal beauty! They come across a wide variety of flora which even their dreams were not capable of churning out.

All the winding paths that adorn the garden lead the visitors to one specifically marked out area. The place radiates with a magnificently divine energy which has got no parallels to any experience the universe could ever offer! There amidst all the attention from the heavenly folks, stand the tree that is known over generations as the one which fulfills all possible wishes, The Kalpavriksha. People could literally feel the existence of life around the tree and it seems to enjoy an eternal bliss laced with a surrounding halo.

One question seems to be common in the minds of all the visitors which they promptly ask the Kalpavriksha. What makes you so special among the rest of the trees around you? The reply takes the shape of an elegant discourse and is always prompt. The leaves flutter, the branches straighten themselves, the trunk holds itself high, the ground reverberates with the roots reaching deeper into the earth & the bark of the tree fills itself with the much needed purest form of air for the treat that awaits the crowd!

The stage is set and the tree speaks. "The Kalpavriksha you are awed at is a created entity. I'm a product of a lovely combination of all of these who just greeted you in their own way. And here is how they perform and make me the special one as you call it…
§ There is this perennial romance between the Sun God and the leaves which provide me with the much needed nourishment. The leaves in turn form a shade for anyone who needs it.
§ The branches are designed to reach out and they do it ever so beautifully. They stretch themselves and help me grow in the directions I would love to.
§ The trunk offers me the mightiest of the support and does a wonderful job of balancing me from top to bottom.
§ The roots, I just love them for their unique combination of care and strength with which it endows me with the much needed support systems of water and other vital elements of life.
§ The bark offers me protection from the external world and forms a layer all around me and forms my Knight in the Armor forever.
…That my dear friends, makes me special. I'm nothing without each one them! I trust them for what they are and what they do. They perform with passion and that makes the whole difference."

The crowd remains stunned with the real life drama that got unfolded right in front of their eyes. They were dumb-struck with the intricate nuances of life and the nuggets of wisdom shared by the one tree that is revered even by the Gods! They looked around and watched this positive thought of shared leadership engulfing the Garden of Gods which every other living being around, accepting and acknowledging it graciously.

Let us bid adieu to the garden with the insight received from Kalpavriksha. Leadership is about Sharing & the result is Tranquility!

When I first realized…

I was watching some TV show on a lazy Saturday morning, sitting on my couch at the hotel where I've been staying for a month now. Being abroad has its own good and bad sides as you could possibly think about anything else in life too. WalMart showed up in between with a very emotional ad featuring a mom helping her son set up his hostel room and letting him be his own soon after. It was pretty obvious that it was his first time away from home!

Isn't it kind of interesting the way your mind switches between the present and past? I must say, it didn't even take a fraction of a second for my mind to do that! It took me back to that courtyard right in front of my hostel room in Coimbatore. That was the very first time for me too. Needless to say my dad and mom were with me. I was concerned, so were they. Its not that I can't be away, but just that the first times are always difficult. The very thought that your kid is gonna be away from home must've been painful for them. For me, it was a new world, a new life and a new beginning. For them, they go back to their old world with one good thing lesser to be around.

I'm not sure if they realized then, but I guess they did eventually, that their son has grown up and the most natural thing for a parent to do is to let him go. They didn't fret, at least not in front of me. Might have cried to each other and I could visualize dad & mom telling each other, it is for his good!

I remember that day when they helped me buy some stuff needed for the hostel room. Carried them along with me to the place and helped set it up. I also recollect that mom didn't say much, though I could figure out how heavy her heart must've felt. I don't remember if she cried, but I'm sure she did once she started back. Dad never expressed much but I knew that, deep inside he loved me so much! They both just asked me to take care and left me to start my new life. They pretty much were aware of how important it is for me to get away from being taken care of. I need to learn. I need to live. It is gonna be my life!

Dad, mom, I don't know what made me so lucky to have you as my parents! Thank you for being there and thank God for joining us. I love you both so much!!!