Happiness Lost & Found!

Reading has always been an interest ever since I was a child. Though not a voracious reader, I always had a book in progress in our library. Many of my friends knew this. A dear friend, once on his trip to Sydney, the year before Covid, got me a beautiful blade-thin gold coloured metal bookmark featuring a landmark in Sydney. I loved it, obviously! 

In addition to being an especially useful gift, the fact that the bookmark was very thin, proved quite easy to carry around in a book made me like that even more. Thick bookmarks were inconvenient and left a mark on the pages which most book lovers did not like. I have been using the bookmark ever since 2019.

Few weeks back, on a visit to Zulekha Hospital in Dubai, I was carrying a book with this lovely bookmark in it. As we were heading to the pharmacy after meeting the doctor, to my utter dismay, I realized that the bookmark was missing. I traced my route back to the doctor’s office from the pharmacy and searched all around the area for the bookmark that must have fallen off the book.                                                                                                             

After a while, it dawned on me that finding the proverbial needle in haystack could be easier. Nevertheless, I told the nurse in charge to look out for a golden bookmark and keep it safe for me if she finds it. I departed the hospital leaving a small piece of my heart there which was crying over a prized possession that was lost forever, or so I thought!

After reaching home, I tried to use another bookmark, a thicker one this time. Though it was a beautiful piece which we picked up during a recent vacation, something did not feel right. The way the bookmark stood out and made the pages feel uncomfortable with its thickness, made me suffer in unexplainable pain. I was mourning over my lost bookmark from Sydney.

Days passed by. I started to get used to the new bookmark, though not without feeling inconvenient every time I picked up the book to continue reading. As they say, time is the best healer, and I learned to move on.

I had another visit to the same hospital today. We reported for the appointment and as soon as the screening at reception was over, we headed to the nurse’s station. The same nurse was waiting there and took the claim forms from me. I must have been pre-occupied that I completely forgot about the lost bookmark and the request I had made to her about keeping it for me if she found it. I was in for a lovely surprise when she reached out to her desk and handed me something shining.

It was the bookmark I lost earlier!

My heart created a new record in its leap with happiness! I could not thank the nurse enough. A new chapter was born there speaking volumes about efficacious customer service.

I returned home as a delighted customer. Little things do matter.

My Alchemist Moment

Ever since Corona hit the shores of UAE, we’d confined ourselves to the safety of our home. To be precise, from March 2020 till today as the calendar announces the beginning of a new month, September 2020. New ways of life demands new ways of passing time. How else do I justify my new found interest in balcony gardening? Something I never paid attention to and left as an exclusive passion by my sweetheart. My involvement was limited to appreciating the beauty of the flowers and clicking a few pictures occasionally.

All these got changed with the extra time I had in hand as there was no travelling to and fro office. It all started by seeing the tomato plants blooming and eventually producing beautiful looking baby tomatoes. The happiness of plucking tomatoes that grew in our own balcony was beyond words. There were a few other pots as well, some with plants and others empty. The sack of potting soil was lying in one corner of the balcony.

As the interest in gardening started budding in my mind, I searched for the packets of seeds we got from a local supermarket a while ago. Among the packets there was one of cucumber. Since the hot summer season was still a couple of months away I decided to plant them in one of the empty pots. Never did I imagine that filing a pot with some soil, planting a few seeds and watering them every day and waiting for a sprout can all be such rewarding feeling. The happiness was multiplied to see lots of tiny yellow flowers filling the pot. I could sense my better half watching all my excitement akin to a little boy who got a brand new toy!

The cucumber plants with their yellow flowers gave us a lot of joy for a while. Then it started dying down one by one. The increasing temperature was one of the reasons I believe. Nevertheless I was not going to stop with one set back. Seeds from every other fruit and vegetable we bought at home started to find its way to various pots. Some of them sprouted and others didn’t even bother to show up. Many of them followed the path of the cucumber plants.

Planting of seeds became such a frenzy that I soon ran out of pots. I started thinking of getting bigger pots as I was determined to recreate a ‘Hanging Gardens of Babylon’ in Dubai! As the summer months hit Middle East it was getting even more of a challenge to grow the plants with temperatures climbing and was soon going to cross 40 Degree Celsius! Hence every time I raised the point of buying new pots, my sweetheart shot the idea down stating it’ll be a worthless effort and convinced me that we’ll buy it closer to end of summer.

I visited the Hypermarket nearby, though rare, during these Corona times. Every time I walked past the aisle where they placed gardening items, the pots there seem to beckon me. I’ll stand there and look at them with the dream of a blooming garden and almost immediately the image of a hot summer sun breathing down an intense fire put a burning hole in my dream. In between, an opportunity even came up when one of the occupants from the next block was moving out and were selling their big porcelain pots. The asking price was quite high and considering the summer story, the thought of buy got a thumbs down. The game continued and my dream remained at large.

While this was going on, a thousand miles away near the shores of Mumbai, Shabana Begum was restless at her home. She was stuck in Mumbai for the past three months due to Covid while her family of husband and two grown up boys were in Dubai. They stayed a couple of blocks away from us though we had never met them. In addition of being away from her family for this long, Shabana was equally worried about her other ‘children’. She had a lovely garden in her balcony with a variety of plants, flowering and otherwise. Her major concern was that in the entire home she was the only soul who showed some concern towards the plants. She was truly worried about their plight especially with the summer hitting its peak.

Shortly enough she managed to get onto a flight to Dubai and as soon as she reached home, a heart breaking sight greeted her! What remained of her beautiful garden to which she put her heart and soul was reduced to a handful of plants which luckily survived the heat despite of being rudely ignored. Soon, another unpleasant news also was broken to her. The family had to shortly shift out of the apartment due to personal reasons.

With an aching heart, Shabana posted in the women’s WhatsApp group of our apartment about her intention of giving away her pots. There were no pictures though. As luck would have it, my sweetheart was one of the first ones to see the post and even before anyone else could lay claim on them, she was quick to respond. It was agreed that we’ll visit Shabana next day and take the pots.

We reached there thinking of a couple of pots and what greeted us was nothing short of a jackpot! Multiple outdoor type large pots with such assortment of plants, that even belittled by dreams, were waiting for us to be grabbed, all for free!

I stood there in her balcony awestruck in silence! All what I could do was thank three people. God first, then my wife and finally Paulo Coelho!

The Universe conspired! 

Eucharist 6000 Miles Away

2020 will go down in the history as a defining year for mankind. After a gap of hundred years, human beings are forced to stay totally indoors with the fear of being annihilated by a microorganism, the likes of which the world has rarely seen from the time of inception. A similar incident was cited in 1920s in the form of Spanish Flu.

The day when I turned 39, I started working from home. Five months later, as I write this, sitting in Dubai, the practice still continues with the exception that I’ve started going to office once a week since the last couple of weeks.  

Covid-19 or Corona virus has redefined literally everything in our lives. Starting from grocery shopping to getting a car registration renewed is all done online. E-learning, from being an exceptional form of learning has become a norm for offices and more importantly schools. Business folks who vehemently insisted on the absolute necessity for face-to-face meetings happily conduct sessions online. The world has locked down itself within the perimeter of an electronic screen.

Spiritual wellbeing was equally impacted. Along with everything else, Churches and other places of worship were all shut down. Being a part of the Holy Mass and receiving Eucharist was no longer possible. The Holy Week also was not spared as it came in between the lockdown period. Churches across the world made arrangements for live streaming of Holy events so that people could be a part of it. We started following the routine of taking part in the Holy Mass on TV, something that was never practiced in our lives before. Even with all these, something was still missing.

While we tried to be a part of the Holy Mass on TV from various churches, we truly felt a gap in experiencing Christ. That’s when it happened. One day we chanced upon the Daily TV Mass from the historic Loretto Abbey Chapel in Toronto, Canada. Father Michael J Coutts celebrated the Holy Mass that day. It was magical! He took us to experience the divine feeling of being one with God in that short period of time we were in front of the TV. We didn’t even realize that we were not in a Church. Through his beautiful homily and the prayers that directly touched our hearts along with the lovely songs from the Church choir team, we truly celebrated the Holy Mass as though we were doing it right in the presence of Christ our Lord himself!

It is indeed a blessing to share the experience of having someone holding your hands while standing at an Altar more than 6000 Miles away and still elevate you to be one with the Spirit of the Lord. This we believe is indeed a God sent gift and we all look forward to the days when we could join Fr Michael and share the happiness of Eucharist with the Miles no longer separating us!

We also have a dream that one day when this crazy pandemic ends we would love to visit the chapel and share the bliss we experienced with Fr Michael himself and even celebrate a Holy Mass along with him engulfed in the holiness omnipresent in that historic chapel.

When I met a Prince

It was early 1990s. The small town of Changanacherry in Kerala woke up to an incredible news! We’re going to have an exhibition in our little town. So what’s the big deal about exhibitions? Has there never been exhibitions before? Of course there were many and people loved to be a part of these. So what’s different this time? What was getting exhibited made all the difference now. It was something the town only started hearing off late. An exhibition of a curious invention called ‘computers’ that is meant to change the world!

Getting ready to step into my teenage years, I was obviously super excited with the prospect of seeing this magical thing. All of us in the town counted the days to the exhibition and awaited in anticipation. Finally the day came and people flocked in large numbers to see the machine nick named as the game changer of the world.

We got into the building where the exhibition was conducted. I remember standing in a long queue and waiting for my turn to be near a computer. Soon enough, we stepped into an air conditioned hall, which itself was a luxury in my town. There they were! A few boxes, some in square shape and others rectangular. Got to know later that they were known as monitor and CPU.

There was a glass partition between the viewers and the magical boxes. There was no way of touching a computer. The exhibition literally allowed you only to have a glimpse of future! There were two or three computers, each one of them displaying some or other images. One of the computers attracted a huge crowd, especially kids. The organizers of the exhibition were having a tough time to control the crowd.

It was finally my turn to be in front of the most happening of the computers. There in front of me stood a small square box where certain pictures could be seen in black and white. Some of the images from the book One Thousand and One Arabian Nights appeared to come alive in front of me. Shortly enough came a writing on the screen, it read ‘Prince of Persia’. I was seeing a computer game for the first time ever in my life!

He was the simplest of the Prince I ever imagined! Pictured in a dungeon wearing a white jump suit trying to reach a level where an imprisoned princess awaits him to be saved. It was to be the most exciting game I’ve ever played in my life. Needless to say the exhibition was a grand success!

Little did I know that day, in a couple of decades I’ll literally end up in Middle East with my job in the land of Royals next to erstwhile Persia!  

Age no bar

One of the most common terms you see in a traditional matrimonial advertisement is ‘Age no bar'. It is a declaration of zero conditions regarding the age of a potential future partner. While this is to find a possible match, I was fortunate to witness another flavour of ‘Age no bar’ during my school days. This time it was all about love, the love I was quite lucky to see between my dearest uncle and aunt.

Chittappa, that’s what we call dad’s younger brother in Malayalam and Chittamma for his wife. This was a time when internet slowly started making its presence felt in the houses in our town in Kerala. Chittappan and family were settled in US. One of those days, Chittappan had to travel alone to India. It was quite unusual to see them not being together since they were seldom seen apart when they travelled.

Chittappan that day, reached our home after a tiring flight. He freshened up and got me to connect the internet for him. Soon Chittamma was online on Yahoo Chat, one of the widely used chat engines those days. Voice chat was yet to be common and hence Chittappan had to type the statements in the chat window.

Let me give you a social background in Kerala while this was happening. I’m talking about a Kerala that was 25 years back. Those were the times when most parents very rarely expressed their love openly for each other. Words of love were hardly spoken, especially in public between the father and mother. I don’t really recollect my parents giving a hug in public. Any behaviour otherwise were not among the accepted norms in our society then.

While such a social behaviour existed, it won’t be an exaggeration if I say I was absolutely stunned when I saw the words Chittappan typed on the chat window. It was that time of the year when jackfruit was available in plenty in Kerala. As expats they must have shared a special love towards this fruit since it wasn’t that common in US. He asked her, “Chakka venodi chakkare” literally translated as “Do you need jackfruit darling”?

It may sound quite silly to be surprised at so simple a statement. But honestly, it was one of the biggest shockers of my life that someone who were of my parents’ age can speak like this publicly. It was something short of a taboo in a society where I lived. That day, I guess, changed my perspective about life. A realization of the meaning of love hit me hard. Chittappan and Chittamma, through their expression of love taught me one of the most valuable lessons in life. There is no age limit for love and more importantly do not hold yourself back from expressing your love to a dear one!

They were one of the earliest love birds I’ve seen. They taught me the happiness of being together. In a world when people get scared to be in a commitment let alone getting married, Chittappan and Chittamma were God sent real life examples for me to strongly believe in the beauty of a married life. The joy of the life they shared always reflected in the smiles they adorned. I’ve never seen either of them walking around with a frown. They appeared to me in a perennial state of bliss.

The flow of life is such that two distinct streams of water join hands in Holy Matrimony and flow together as one river. The love for each other nourishes the banks of this river thereby sharing the happiness they experienced with others. I’m so thankful to God that I’ve been a recipient of such endless love from a very beautiful river that flowed through my life.

A couple of weeks back, Chittappan slightly changed his course to join his Creator leaving behind a legacy along with Chittamma for an entire generation to learn and live on in the spirit of love.

May you all be blessed in this New Year with the presence of such wonderful people who enrich our lives while they are around and even after that!

The Fragrance

This was a few years before India started to hear words such as globalization and liberalisation. For a school going kid, a visit from an NRI uncle and family in Gulf had the excitement similar or even more than the annual feast at the local church.

Starting from preparations to receive the family to getting up at odd hours and waiting impatiently to get into a Tempo Traveller to head to the airport, obtaining the pass to the visitor’s gallery at the airport, rushing to find a suitable spot in the gallery, the anticipation of arriving aircraft, opening of the doors, counting the passengers getting down one by one and finally sighting the familiar faces of uncle and family, all contributed to the greatest experience of the year!

The icing on the cake was seeing the number of large bags uncle brought with him since everything about those bags was new to the pre-globalization eyes of a school going kid. As soon as we reached home, the baggage were promptly taken to the room that awaited their visit. Soon enough the whole room will have a very unique fragrance, the likes of which only comes with an NRI Gulf family of those times!

The days ahead will be filled with surprises after surprises. The joy of receiving a gift, the happiness of seeing things beyond your imagination and the overall experience of being with someone who crossed the proverbial seven seas were all adding to the experience.

A month will fly by and soon it will be time for uncle and family to return to their NRI status. I hated the trips to airport to see off someone, nevertheless I did go many times. Through tearful eyes we bid goodbye. It was a heart breaking moment to stand on the same viewer’s gallery and watch the aircraft take off.

You return home and try to relive the happy moments in the now empty room. All that remains is the fragrance from the bags that were in the room.

James Mukkadan, my uncle, who gifted me all those priceless moments is no longer with us as he joined the Creator earlier today (27 Nov 2019), for a well-deserved eternal life. He leaves behind a great legacy.

I now realize something more important. Uncle, what you left behind in that empty room was not just the fragrance from your bags. It is a whole lot of memories that you created with your genuine love and care. You will be deeply missed and remembered forever! 

Times when you failed me… my love!

Close to a decade of bachelorhood, away from my family,

A new person, a new life and I started complaining about ‘My Space’.

That’s when you taught me the feeling of togetherness,

And failed me first time… with your love!

When petty differences started to show up,

And silly fights soon became my second name.

That’s when you taught me the power of walking the same path,

And failed my ego… with your love!

Then came the toughest of tests in our life,

Where I lost all my hope and was destined to flop.

That’s when I saw the angel in you,

Who failed my despair… with your true love!

Soon enough my career hit a roadblock,

And struggling seems to be the only way of life.

You stepped in again and showed me the path out,

And failed my anguish… with your love!

Time and again I proved to be difficult,

Losing my temper among many other things.

To your full credit, you held the fort together,

And failed my qualms… totally with your love!

Promise I do, again and again,

To happily fail for you, all through my life.

If and only if, that true and pure heart of yours,

Continue to fail me in your love, forever!

When Gandhi & Jinnah smiled…

We were recently invited for the 70^th Republic Day celebration by Grade One students at The Millennium School (TMS) in Al Nahda, Dubai where our son studies. I must admit that my trip to school was with the least of expectation since I was anticipating only a routine school celebration. Little did I realize that I was in for a big surprise!

The whole celebration lasted just about an hour and was an absolute example of harmony between various departments in the school. These included IT, music, dance and various class teachers along with a whole bunch of kids aged 7 or so putting up a show that was truly a memorable one! The auditorium was filled with pride of a nation celebrating 70 years of owning its own constitution. Musical notes complemented every dance move by the tiny hands and feet. A well written skit depicting scenes from the life of Mahatma Gandhi was executed with utmost perfection as a precursor to every performance.

The faculty and the students deserve a round of standing ovation for the amount of hard work they’ve put in for such a fabulous show!

It didn’t end there. The icing on the cake was yet to come. I was quite amused to see the invited Guest of Honour for an Indian school for the Republic Day celebration. It was none other than Mr Imran Waheed, the Principal of His Highness Sheikh Rashid Al Maktoum Pakistan School (SRAMPS) Dubai situated at a stone’s throw away from TMS. An eminent educationist hailing from Pakistan and joining as a Principal of the school a year ago, he delivered one of the shortest and most effective speech I’ve ever heard in my life.

He was quite candid in stating the fact about how SRAMPS was a failure when he took over as the Principal. The school looked upon TMS as a model of success and was humble enough to reach out for help. TMS to its credit, was quite a sport and agreed to hand hold SRAMPS by sharing the knowledge of the tried and tested methods of teaching. The result was magical!

A year later when reviewers from UK came down to evaluate SRAMPS, they were quite surprised to see the improvement made by the school. The surprise gave way to a state of absolute shock when they learned that it was an Indian school that helped this Pakistani school to achieve what it did! They even asked Mr Waheed how this was even a possibility since they couldn’t comprehend the fact that schools that belonged to ‘enemy nations’ were capable of such a feat.

Mr Waheed’s response to the contingent from UK will go down in the history of TMS and SRAMPS as the highlight of the 70^th year of Republic. He said, “We’re trying to overcome the burden that you folks left us with!”

Somewhere high above in heaven, both Gandhi and Jinnah heard this and smiled at each other!

Demons from Heaven!

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Jan 2018

I remember seeing an advertisement a few years back. A young father is shopping with his son in a supermarket. The little boy keeps a big packet of chocolates in the shopping cart. The father keeps it back. The son promptly returns the packet to the cart and stands there with his arms folded as if challenging his dad. The father keeps the packet again on the stands. The kid takes a deep breath and starts screaming on the top of his voice. The whole supermarket comes to a standstill and stares at the kid but even more at the dad. The ad ends with the face of a completely helpless dad with a caption showing the brand of a contraceptive urging the viewer to use it!

The above scene is not completely alien to us. We all must’ve seen or experienced similar scenes while shopping. There are quite a few couples in the world today who get influenced by the message passed on by such an advertisement and decide not to have kids in their lives. For them, kids are nothing but a nuisance or little devils. There are also a few couples who decide not to have a second child for the same reason or think that they have served their purpose as parents in this world by having one child. Ads like the one I mentioned above masks a complete spectrum about kids from the viewers. A prospective parent or a bride and groom to be who sees such an ad won’t see the other side of fence. Though having kids can be argued as a purely personal choice, here are some of the thoughts related to parenting.

Yes, kids can be demons at times, but they are demons from heaven! No kid in this world has ever asked their parents to bring them to this world. It is a choice that the parents make. Hence as parents it is not ethically correct for us to blame the kids for their behaviour which by itself is inherited from us or our ancestors.

One quite interesting fact which many of us don’t realise about parenting is that both the ‘parents’ and the ‘child’ share the same age, especially with the first child. A parent is born on the same day as the first child. Parenthood is a completely new experience for the couple who till that day didn’t experience a third person in their life. The magnitude of change that brings in with this new status in their life is huge, most often a bigger change than getting married itself! Obviously it will take a long time for anyone to get adjusted to such a change.

Your second child arrives and a magic happens! Without you even realizing it, you mature yourself as parents. You are no longer the same novice parents when you had your first child. Being more matured as parents equips you to handle the tantrums of kids better. What’s even more interesting and at times embarrassing is the truth some of us realize that you could’ve loved your first child even better if you’d known what a child really needs. It is very similar to getting experienced in a job that makes you do the job better than having no experience at all.

There is more to parenting than just the experience of being a parent. You will become better in managing finances since you’ve to now plan for additional member(s) in the family. Every other expense in life will now be multiplied with the number of kids you’ve. Decisions on careers many a times get influenced based on kids. Some of us stop working altogether whereas others have to shift jobs to ensure financial freedom and security. Without these little devils we would’ve just continued working where we were earlier. The choices you make on almost everything in life get influenced with kids. The movies you see, the cars you buy, the vacation you plan or even a simple decision as a restaurant to have dinner are just a few examples where kids directly or indirectly influence your decisions.

All these and more are nothing compared to the beautiful sight of your little ones hugging you dearly and sleeping peacefully looking forward for another bright and beautiful day where they can spent time with the God that they can see in this world, that’s none other than you!

Here is wishing you a beautiful parenting experience which is nothing short of being one with God.

Wish you all a very happy new year! God bless! 

Neeleshwaram Effect

A cousin's wedding took us to Neeleshwaram, a small town in the Northernmost district of Kasargod in Kerala. We reached on the wedding eve and the next day was quite a happening one. 

By evening, after the wedding, we got back to the lodge where we stayed and I went out to buy some water. Also wanted to see if I could get some tea for all of us. Found a bakery where I got the water bottles. Since there were more than six of us at the hotel I checked with them if I could get tea as a take away item. 

All what I was expecting was to get tea in disposable cups with lids. Then came the twist. 

The shop was run by an elderly lady and her daughter. The lady asked me where I stayed. When she learned about our stay at the nearby lodge she filled a flask and another vessel with tea and also packed half a dozen glass tumblers along with it! There was more to this surprising customer service. 

When I suggested disposable cups, her response was that, tea won't taste good in plastic cups and insisted that I take the glass ones itself! She even sent one guy to help us carry these things back to the place where we stayed.

The tea tasted very good and later I promptly returned the flask and all to the shop. When they took the items back they even asked me to visit Neeleshwaram again to explore this place better.

Needless to say, it was one of the best customer service I've ever experienced in my life. All what I wish is the world to have more people like these to spread genuine selflessness so that we are surrounded with love than hatred! 

The Lost Love!

She stayed in the corner of that house which was dark most of the times. Though surrounded by many known faces, she lived in constant pain of loneliness. It has been months since she lost her sweetheart. One day he just vanished leaving no trace at all! They were always together and had travelled to faraway lands. He ensured that she stayed right next to him all the time during each such trip.

No one really could console her since there was no news at all about him. The modern world was mocked at, for all its advanced technology and communication. None of that could find her love and bring him back to her. She cried in silence mostly during the nights and during the day, she’ll sit idle remembering the good old days when they were together.

Here is the irony of life! Not too far from where she stays, in a completely messy house, deep down in the cellar was lying her sweetheart gasping for his breath! He got locked in this dungeon from where there seems to be no escape. He could hear the wailing from his dear one but was absolutely overpowered by the mighty forces above him.

When all hopes seem to have ended, one day he started feeling the pressure on him getting reduced. The forces that tie him down seem to be getting lighter. With each passing day the chamber where he was held a captive was getting filled with fresh air and good light. Finally a day came when he was freed up from the clutches. The first thing he did was to get a perfect hot water bath. He then got himself dried in the sun which was denied to him for all these days!

Finally, one of the grey socks lost deep down in the laundry basket was united with his love who was sitting all alone in the cupboard for the last few months.

They lived happily ever after…

Made for Each Other

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Dec 2015

One of the interesting posts I’d seen off late in Facebook was of a guy who got separated from his wife after a short stint of marriage. He was going through all the pictures he posted soon after the marriage. The intention was to find all those who have complimented them with the phrase ‘Made for Each Other’ and he plans to reach out to each one of them and properly give them back!

What would’ve gone wrong with that ‘Made for Each Other’ couple? Why have they now become ‘Not Made for Each Other’? What really makes a couple ‘Made for Each Other’?

This very meaningful tag that is given to even a newly married couple is in fact something couples need to earn. It is not a freebie that should be showered on anyone and everyone. As a couple, together you go through quite a lot of experiences that varies in its emotional, physical and psychological degrees of depths. The end result of all these should be the award given to them stating they are indeed ‘Made for Each Other’.

You start your life as a husband and wife with a clean white board in front of you. The letters and pictures that you draw on this board with each passing day shapes up your coupledom. Every other day has something or other in store for you. You learn what interests your spouse in all matters of life. You understand what makes them happy and also what irritates them. The power of this is so much so that you are blessed with the power to make them happy and also how to irritate them!

All these and more lead to one most important transformation in your life. An insignificant person till yesterday now decorates the most significant position on that whiteboard of your life. The process of learning and unlearning continues with your spouse as you never understand a person completely ever. Just like how each peel of onion opens up to reveal another gradient of color within the layers, the personality traits of your better half get revealed to you one by one. This is a journey of discovery that you will undertake till the time you are together as a couple alive or otherwise.

Six years into our marriage and recently blessed with our second child, my wife and I were planning to return to Dubai post her delivery days in India. Many of our friends and relatives were asking if we have got a maid to help us. We had thought of having a part time maid at least but still didn’t have anyone to help us after reaching back in Dubai. A few days into being the parents of two wonderful kids, we were soon in a state of affairs that we have now become ‘Maid for each other’!

The above incident was shared only to re-iterate one fact. Being ‘Made for Each Other’ means many things in life. There isn’t a specific answer to that question asked earlier; what really makes a couple ‘Made for Each Other’? How you are made for each other may not be the same for another couple. The definitions vary between couples based on their ways of understanding each other.

As you progress with your life together as a couple, the happiness and the hardships you share become more meaningful. The chapters of life when lived together with all its passion and excitement truly make you one for each other. Being able to live together as a couple is a blessing. It is an even bigger boon to live through your differences and find happiness in every other incident in your life, small or big. This is one of the mysteries of being ‘Made for Each Other’.

May you be blessed with the realization of the secret that applies in your life to make you a ‘Made for Each Other’ couple!

God bless you!  

Joy of Giving!

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Nov 2015

It has been more than half a decade since I got my first opportunity to cross the Atlantic and experience the place nick named as ‘Land of Dreams’, the US. We were a team of six from my company and were to spend the next three months in Atlanta on a project for a large airline telecommunication company.

Being my first ever trip outside India I was obviously super excited! Though the excitement did last throughout the trip, after a few days I really missed being back home, especially the aroma of desi food. The American cuisine wasn’t bad, but my taste buds craved for some Indian spices. One month passed by and we did find a couple of Indian restaurants and I even remember driving down almost 40 miles, approximately 65 kilometers to have idly and vada from the closest Saravana Bhavan by paying 7 US Dollars when idly back home in India would’ve cost me not even 7 Rupees!

Things were going in this fashion and that’s when I got a call from my cousin sister in Chicago. She told me that her sweetheart is sending me a round trip plane ticket so that I can visit them over the next weekend! I was totally bowled over by such a wonderful offer from my cousin’s husband. He really had no reason to extend such an act of kindness to me, but did it with all his heart, I learned. I was overjoyed and immediately planned for the trip.

Weekend came and soon I was at my cousin’s place enjoying the warmth of their comfortable home. My happiness was doubled as I knew one of my favorite aunts was also there at her place. They all made me feel right at home and had prepared one of the most delicious meals I probably ever had in my life! The stay with them gave me so much of happiness that the feeling of joy is still so deep rooted in my mind that any given day, the mere thought of it brings back a smile on my face wiping away all the stress and strains life offers.  

I had thought about this many times later in my life. The delight that my cousin sister and family brought to my life had no parallels to compare with. I tried to visualize the other side of the fence and realized that the joy-of-getting was made possible only because there was a joy-in-giving. A fact that many of us take for granted. We all love it when people gift us with surprises and other wonderful presents. We are always eager to unpack and get drenched in the pleasure of receiving the gift. Hardly do we register the joy on the faces that gave us these gifts. That joy I must say is more valuable than the natural feeling of your happiness of receiving a gift.

Giving someone something takes a lot of courage. It is so easy to gift someone close to your heart as you find no difficulty in parting with your hard earned money and precious time to do so. But it is definitely not easy to do that for someone who could be an extended family or friend of yours. It is good to remind ourselves once a while that all the joy-of-getting you experienced was only because someone decided to experience the joy-of-giving.

I remember packing my bags after the three months of our stay in US. There was something or other for every member in my family as well as my cousins and kids. I felt so happy to see their faces when I handed over these gifts after I got back home. I shared the joy-of-giving experienced by my cousin and family. While unpacking my bags back home and telling my mom what I got for each one of them she asked me a question, “What did you get for yourself?”

I smiled at her and said, “Three bags full of happiness”!

May the good God bless you experience the ‘joy-of-giving’. May this joy bring a lot of smiles on many faces making the world a much better place to live in! 

The Unknown Love

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Sep 2015

After a couple of years into our marriage, my wife and I were blessed with our first child, a healthy baby boy. As young parents we had our own apprehensions on how to raise him as a responsible human being and what will take us to do that. During those days, my sweetheart made one suggestion which totally changed the way I now experience the love of our little one. The suggestion was that I need to take my son along with me each time I go out for something, even for the smallest of the tasks such as buying groceries.

Managing a two year old alone was quite a daunting task and I was not really happy to have the little fellow accompany me every time I went out. The naughtiness in him only grew with time and it became even more of a challenge to manage him. Days and months went by and it became a norm that every time I announce that I’m going out to get something, our little guy will automatically head to the wardrobe to be ready to go out with me. This became a practice so much so that, the only time he couldn’t join me was when I head to my office and when I go out to get a haircut. Given a choice he would’ve been with me at the saloon at least!

I soon had a major realization. My short trips outside our home are extremely boring without him. I now wait for him to finish whatever he does; it could be a meal or a bath, to join me before stepping out of the house. It won’t be an exaggeration to say that I could scoop out his excitement to go out along with me and the happiness only seem to multiply each time we went out.

I also figured out that this is all the more important for kids like him who grow up in a country far away from his homeland where the opportunities of mingling with your near and dear ones are relatively lesser. You miss a lot of family functions and gatherings which naturally would’ve been an opportunity for you to meet people and socialize.

There was something else that was even more important with all these experience. My son spends considerable amount of time with his mom by virtue of having her available at home. But these times when we go out together are some of the most valuable moments I get to spend with him as a dad. A child needs the attention from both the parents. What he learns from his mom makes only a part of his life as a human being complete. He also needs to learn how the male of the species thinks and acts. That’s when the learning makes a complete circle.

If you have ever observed lion cubs, you’ll see an interesting mix. Things are a bit different in the world of a lion pride. The females are the ‘bread winners’ usually. They do the hunting primarily. The male lions are entrusted with the protection of the territorial boundaries and the pride itself. Any intrusion is met with extreme aggression, safeguarding the ‘kingdom’ and the resources within it to ensure survival. The cubs learn from both and that’s how they grow up to be the kings and queens of the jungle!

At times when I look back, I really dread to think how much of a terrible mistake it would’ve been if I had not taken him out and help him know the world. Expose him to the tremendous opportunities with first-hand learning and not just by being glued to the TV or the world of internet. He needs to see the actual world and as parents we realized the responsibility to show him that.

It was a beautiful journey to say the least! When apprehension gave way to acceptance; when reluctance was pushed aside by responsibility… We now experience a very special bond of a father and a son. We together thank the lady of the house for making that decision for us.

It was an unknown love and when realized we now hold it so close to our hearts! It makes us raise a toast to life itself!

God bless you all to realize these hidden jewels of love in your lives too! 

I had a dream…

Three decades back when I was a little kid, someone presented me with a tiny working model of an aircraft. Guess that sowed the seeds of this beautiful dream I’ve been carrying with me. The fascination for these flying wonders have been deeply embedded that I distinctly remember running out to my backyard every time to catch a glimpse of an aircraft that flew tens and thousands of miles above our small town.

Years went by and my career started with Mindtree as a Business Analyst with Staff Operations. The Emirates Group was a customer for Mindtree at that time. Even when I allocated people to Emirates account I’ve always wondered how interesting will it be to associate with that brand. It remained a dream.

Couple of years later I was fortunate to be part of the Travel & Transportation Industry Group in Mindtree. Airline domain became my area of interest. While I worked closely with the big names in the industry, Emirates still eluded me. Three more years later, it was time to move on from Mindtree. The big break came with Computer Sciences Corporation offering a dream job at Emirates, though as a consultant. It was half a dream come true!

With every passing day, I was inching closer to my dream or so I thought. There was tremendous learning where it was no longer a distant education; instead I was part of a larger plot that made this mammoth organization work like a-well-oiled machinery. Something was still missing. Being a consultant I felt like an adopted child even when you live in the same house. The connection was still missing though you could say a bond was getting formed.

A year went by and an opportunity presented itself to be a part of the Emirates family. Try I did, but destiny had other plans. Guess the fruit was not ripe yet to be plucked. My wait wasn’t over yet. Couple of more calendars got replaced. Renewed hopes were in the air. Another opportunity showed up, but it almost died as soon as it was born. Organizational level changes that were happening were to be blamed. My patience levels were now getting tested. Yet another possible opening came but it got shot down due to lack of budgets and hence no promises were made. I was fast losing it and almost decided to pack my bag of dreams.

That’s when it struck! Out of the blue, the long awaited invitation arrived, to be part of the family which I’ve been so longing to be with. I looked up and thanked Almighty. An Emirates flight with the UAE flag as the livery flew past reminding me that dreams do come true!

Today, the second day of August 2015, I’m officially part of The Emirates Group.

I live my dream. 

The Complete Couple

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - May 2015

Have you seen people admiring a couple and making this cliche statement, "What a perfect couple?! Made for each other!" I have always wondered what does it really mean. Is there really something called a 'perfect couple'? Isn't it a dream that we always see in some of the less realistic movies? Here's what I figured out.

We see a lot of couples around us daily. We start seeing them right from our family, among friends, at work, outside work and all around us. Two individuals who decide to come together to be a couple and thereby form a family may have many things in common. It is equally important to notice that the uncommon ones quite often override the common elements in their nature. How is it still that some of these couples get certified as perfect?

The best thing to realize when you look at one of these perfect couples is that these two human beings are created by God just like each one of us. They were born in two different families, grew up in their own distinct backgrounds, have their individual views about everything around them and finally were joined as part of a Divine plan. These people were not born immaculate and continue to be imperfect. They make mistakes, they get restless, they fight and in the middle of all these they lead their lives, together.

What differentiates these regular-looking couple from the rest of the world is that they figure out a huge fact about themselves. They know they are incomplete individually, but together they make a Complete Couple! They know each one has got areas they are weak at, all the while realizing the strengths of their partners. This insight is one of the most powerful gifts in the life of any couple! It is no secret that most of the couples could discover this, soon after they begin their life together. The key here is how they make use of what they have learned about their better halves.

Remember learning about metamorphosis back in school? This is the magical process by which an insignificant pupa transforms itself to a beautiful butterfly! This colorful creation of God does not even realize what happens to it over the period of time. All what it does is wait patiently and let the nature take its course. Any impatience will lead to a disaster resulting in a deformed creation. Every 'perfect couple' goes through such a transformation as well.

The moment you decide to make the positives of each other work for your benefit, you transform yourself to a magical couple. Identify the areas where each one is weak and strong. If you are strong in one area ensure that you own it up thereby complimenting the weakness of the other. You could be strong in handling finance whereas your partner may have a unique acumen for planning out things. You may have an amazing eye for detail but your partner may be totally an artistic person.

Whatever unique characters you both are, it is important that you extract the power of your combination to the benefit of the family. Always remember to never let the other one down citing a weakness. Reassure your better half during moments of doubt that you are on a journey together. Tell your partner that you are there to share the load and that's how you fulfill your wedding vows.

May the good God help you realize the power within you to transform yourself as a perfect couple! May the world around now start looking at you and exclaim, "Look at them! There goes a Complete Couple!"

God bless you! 

Being a child

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - July 2014

I’ve been noticing one thing off late about the conversation with folks back home. Every phone call is laced with adjectives such as “tough days, lot of work, hectic” etc. I was wondering what exactly is happening in my life that things are becoming so complex. That’s when my two year old came up with a ‘major’ problem he is facing with his new toy truck. The truck has a major section and an attached trailer as well. The part where trailer is attached came off and he was really worried his truck got damaged. I took a look at it and applied some glue and the trailer was working perfectly fine. I was quite surprised to see the amount of happiness on his face. That made me ask the question, when was the last time I was so happy on such small things?
 

Probably it is not a small thing for my little one; nevertheless the fact is that he found happiness in every little such thing that we never found him unhappy over a prolonged period of time. This is quite unlike most of us who are worried about something or other all the while.

It may sound a bit similar, though there is a subtle difference between being happy about small things in life Vs quickly recovering from your sadness. One of the biggest lessons my son taught me is not just how to be happy about the small things in life. He also showed me how to forget completely about the sadness you felt till a moment ago and enjoy the happiness you now possess.

Another major trait that you lose while you grow from being a child to an adult is your ability to have zero ego. Have you ever noticed a baby or a child? How much ever you do something which they dislike, it takes minimum or even little time before they come back to you with another question or request. They are not tuned to think that this is the same person who did something they didn’t appreciate a little while ago. For them it was a moment in the past and past stays in the past. They live in the present. A huge lesson to be learned from these tiny wonders!

It is no wonder why most adults in this world love kids. Babies or kids predominantly have one agenda in life. They just know to love forever and most importantly express the love too. You don’t see them fretting over insignificant nothings and losing their day that should be filled with happiness. It is such a pleasure to watch a little one running across to you to give a hug at the end of a very tiring day. All the worries about that day seem to disappear into the thin air. That’s the magic of being a child!

Most likely one of the key factors that differentiate a child from an adult is the gift to approach everything in a simple manner. Kids really do not know how to complicate things. They only know and are interested to see the way things are. It makes life much easier to live. The moment we try to bring in unwarranted complexities to simpler aspects in life, we feel being weighed down by difficulties in life. Guess the mantra is to learn to look at life around you in a simple manner. Do not complicate what can remain simple.

Guess I realize now why one Man had said more than two thousand years back why it is important to be like a child. At least this should remind us that life was much happier being a child and there were reasons why it was so. Hence while you know you can’t become one anymore it is quite important for you to realize why you should learn from one.

That surely must have been one of the thoughts that crossed the mind of Wordsworth when he wrote, ‘The child is father of the man’. Be like a child and bring back the happiness in your life!

Perceptions

I remember eagerly waiting for summer vacations during school days. A whole year of classes, tests, punishments and all gets into the oblivion with the onset of long holidays. The feeling was quite similar early in the morning today when I woke up at my home in Dubai to a beautiful sight.The roads and trees were all fresh with the rare event of rains in this part of the world! Lovely drops of rain were lashing the roads and everyone driving seems to feel quite happy about not being indoors. I wanted a piece of the happiness pie as well and got ready quite quickly and headed to office. My red beauty from Toyota seems to be dancing in the rain since all what she usually gets is a bucket of water on alternate days.

 

The traffic was quite lean today with schools closed and people perhaps feeling lazy to get up from the bed in such an awesome weather. The drive to the office was very smooth and I thanked God for gifting me such a beautiful day. The excitement was even greater when I thought I’ll be onboard an aircraft in a few hours heading straight home to my sweethearts!

The half empty parking lot welcomed me and I got out inhaling the fragrance of the desert rain. It was slightly drizzling as though the Goddess of Rain was embracing me with her tender love. There were beads of raindrops that laced the border of my office building and I hopped across each time a droplet came down and playfully avoided them from hitting me. I reached office and for a moment thought of having a hot cup of tea with some breakfast which will complement the gorgeous weather, instead of my usual oats. I overcame the temptation and walked directly to my desk and unlocked it to reach for my laptop. Alas! I was greeted by an empty space. A moment of panic struck me. Losing an office laptop is not a major concern since all the work has a back-up created; nevertheless losing was scary!

My gaze was directed to the window while I tried to deduce what could’ve happened. The dark clouds outside now appeared to me like a devil with an ominous cloak on and performing some black magic ritual, the result of which poured down as drops of fire. I suddenly realized that my laptop didn’t get stolen; in fact I had taken it home last evening assuming that I may need it to do some checks for remote mail access. In all the happiness and excitement early in the morning, I conveniently forgot about it while leaving to office.

I was really upset for such an oversight. This will now mean I’ll have to drive back in the rain which now annoyed me big time. The rain drops that earlier felt like a soft feather touch, now were like sharp needles pricking me. I scolded myself for not getting an umbrella and somehow tried to protect my head with a handkerchief. The droplets continued to fall from the office building. I cursed the maintenance department for not doing a proper job. Ducking down to the falling drops and jumping across pools of water thinking about the poorly designed drainage facilities of this city, I reached where the car was parked. I was about to get in when it dawned on me that I forgot the house key in my bag that I carried to office! It didn’t matter that temperature outside was coming down closer to a single digit; I was boiling from within.

All that appeared beautiful a few moments back were turning out to be an eyesore for me. All the exhilarating experience of the rarity of rains went down the drains of despair. I went back to the office, got the home key and headed home to get the laptop. While waiting at a signal on the way I overheard the last bit of a conversation between my heart and my mind.

Heart said, “I was jumping up and down with joy a moment back and now I don’t even feel that I’m moving.” Mind replied, “It is all about perceptions my dear”.