Tunnel Riders

Alex and Nisha were at their parents’ place after a long gap of two years since Covid-19 pandemic ripped the world apart. There were many relatives they had to visit and decided to call on one of their uncles. It was a good feeling to catch up after a long time and all of them were quite happy to see each other after what was probably the worst two years in their entire life till date.

Among the conversation, a topic came up about a friend of Alex who works in Shimla, one of the most beautiful mountain regions towards North East of India. He had invited Alex many times to come over to Shimla and appreciate the magnificent mountains. Alex and Nisha discussed the plans with uncle and aunt to take a flight to Delhi and later a short flight to Shimla from there. That’s when uncle intervened and suggested a better option.

Alex’s uncle had done extensive trips pan India and was quite familiar with the geography across this gorgeous nation. He suggested taking a train from Delhi to Shimla as there were more than a hundred tunnels across the picturesque Himalayas. As soon as they heard this, both Alex and Nisha got quite excited and almost immediately started picturing the awesome trip through the mountains and valleys on a meter gauge train.

While Alex, Nisha and their uncle were soaking themselves in the lovely landscapes in their minds, their aunt who was listening to all the conversation spoke for the first time. She said, ‘What is the big deal in going through so many tunnels. It will be all dark and gloomy’.

The expression on the faces of other three souls present in the room could only be described with one word, ‘priceless’!

The above story is only a cross section of what we see in our daily lives. There are numerous such ‘aunts’ among us, be it in our family or among friends. These poor souls can almost never see the light at the end of the tunnel. Their minds are perennially stuck in the pitch darkness of the tunnels they cross during their lives.

People like these are always lost in the gloominess and in fact miss to appreciate the beauty as the train of life exits the tunnel into the wilderness and the heavenly panorama of lush green mountains and valleys. Instead they only see the train moving from one tunnel to the next and around them they will befriend only darkness and despair.

It indeed is a mindset. We may think that the worst pandemic in the recent history of mankind might have changed people. Even the most negative of people around us who survived the pandemic might have developed an appreciation towards life. Then again, experiences like this promptly corrects us by citing fantastic examples of perpetually negative human beings. These are personalities who could never think of anything positive in life.

Rain or shine, these people live and breathe negative. Imagine you successfully wrap up an extremely strenuous event for which you prepared relentlessly for a month. Everything went well and while you are beaming with joy, one of the above kind will come to you and cite the least of the imperfection and highlight it as the worst thing to have happened in the whole world. They will religiously fail to appreciate you or your efforts. This is a mental makeup in its deepest and darkest of shades.

So what do we do about this? Where possible help these individuals realize that they are treading the valleys of misery and in fact there is a highland of happiness that awaits them if they are ready to change a bit. More importantly when it comes to us, we need to be aware of the fact that human mind could be like a sponge where it could absorb all these negativity. Do not let it happen. But in the likelihood of that happening, ensure that you squeeze them out with an overdose of friendly positivity.

I am quite sure we can work together to bring in the much needed positive vibes and make the world a better place to live!

Troll Model

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Feb 2017

One of the distinct memories I’ve from my past is that our family had membership in at least three different international clubs, the branches of which existed in our hometown. The evenings and celebrations we had with the club activities were quite eventful. Being an international club, social drinking was considered a norm at these clubs.

As a little kid, I very clearly remember majority of the men there drinking with the exception of my dad and a few other elders. I recollect my mom telling my brother and me that dad very particularly followed the principle of not drinking in public and also in front of us, with the primary intention that he wanted us to grow up as responsible adults. Looking back, I really want to thank him for instilling that value and being a strong role model for me!

Fast forward a couple of decades and the actions from some people I see around makes me feel painful. I want you to picture this. Imagine you are a fifteen year old girl in your family get together where your dad is seated on a stage facing everyone. How would you feel if he keeps cracking a lot of X-rated jokes and sarcastic comments? Imagine your plight if you have to remain there in the room all embarrassed but forced to stay since your family members are seated around you?!

You may think the above scene I pictured is out of a fiction movie. In reality, this and many more are happening in the big bad digital world out there today. I’m talking about WhatsApp groups which are a part of our daily lives these days. Many of us when we forward a message or post something to the group see only the screen and not the picture I painted above. Would you really have spoken those words if you were in a room with the whole of your family looking at you? Would you really have posted a picture that you would’ve normally hidden from our innocent little ones?

The fact of the matter is, with the digital world spreading its arms even more in the current world, most of us have a digital personality along with our physical self. This digital personality of yours does not realize that you are doing things that you would’ve never done if you had to do it in front of the same set of people, in person. I you wouldn’t want your teenage daughter to hear you pass a very ludicrous comment when she is standing in front you and facing you, why would you do the same over a digital media like WhatsApp? What makes you a lesser dad when you are not face-to-face with your daughter? The same applies to any relationship.

I personally have a strong desire that I cherish. Just like how my dad and other elders in my family were role models to me, I would want my kids and other little ones in my family to look up to me and learn the good side of mine, if any. This will enable them to become better human beings for sure. I pray to God that let me never be a reason for someone to turn out to be a burden for the society.

And this is what is resonated in Mathew 18:9. “…And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It's better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.” Ask yourself these questions. Are you living a life different in social media than what you are in real life? Will you talk to your parents or siblings or kids in the exact manner as what you do over WhatsApp or Facebook? If the answer is no, then it is time for an introspection. If the answer is yes, you’ve a bigger problem to tackle!

Sit back and think about all the good role models that you had in your life and how have they influenced you to form the personality that you have today. Now think again if you are being one, to the members of your family or are you being something else?

In other terms, are you being a ‘troll model’ whose sole objective is to create controversies and provoke response from people? Alternately are you being a role model for generations to come and for them to hold their head high and proclaim to the world about their ancestor who was an awesome human being?

Think! God bless!

Emotional Explosion!

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Nov 2016

Being part of the largest airline brand from Middle East, I often get to work out of the Head Quarters (HQ) of my company. It is a state of the art facility with lots of offices operating out of this building. The second floor of HQ is accessible to general public where there are sales offices, customer affairs office etc. There is also an open space known as Atrium and at times I sit and work at one of the many desks available there.

The other day I was at the Atrium trying to complete a work to be delivered during the second half of the day. I could hear a kid probably aged around four years crying for something he wanted badly. He was with his mom and dad who were seen arguing if the kid really needs to be given that item. The argument became so hyper at a given point, so much so that, the next thing we saw was dad shouting at mom in public and dashing with his son to a nearby mini mart to buy what the kid asked for. While dad and son headed towards the department store, we could see the mother heading to a different direction with her head down avoiding all possible eyes staring at the family.

Can you imagine the impact created by this emotional explosion? Assume what happens to that father. He lost his cool and shouted at his dearest wife right in the middle of a set of people whom they’ve probably never seen before. He even forgot for a moment that what ought to be a private moment in their life is now exposed to the general public for their judgement and scrutiny. A momentary outburst of his emotion led to a situation that completely went out of hand. I can only imagine how the evening would’ve been back at their home that day!

Now think about the state at which the mother was in. She must have tried with the best of her intentions not to give what the child had asked for. She would’ve expected her dearest husband to support her in the decision since children need to understand the synergy of parents. The moment there is a clash between the father and mother, it is a natural disaster for the children. Instead she was ridiculed by the one on which she had utmost trust. That’s quite a dangerous situation to be in and one that will possibly have lasting impressions in her mind about her husband.

One of the most critical impacts is on none other than the child himself! He had seen his dad shouting at his mom and that too in a public place. This picture gets deeply etched in his mind and he’ll grow up thinking that it is ok to shout at your spouse irrespective of where you are and what situation you are in. He is bound to share his experience with his fellow kids and they’ll in turn have this unhealthy thought growing with them. A new generation is born with a threat to the society!

There is one more category of people who got impacted with the incident; the people who witnessed the scene. Each one of them, who were out there and watched what happened, will form opinions about relationship between a husband and a wife in their own way. Some will think like that father whereas the others will be all against this outrage displayed. Either ways the action by that couple has created an influence one way or other on everyone present there.

Many a times, when in rage, couples express their emotions without even realizing the situation they are in. The consequences almost never cross their minds during such scenarios. It is important that couples need to be aware of this fact and learn to master over their emotions. This is to ensure that you don’t end up being a negative influence on people around you, known or unknown.

Here is wishing you to be blessed with the providence of being a positive inspiration wherever you are! 

Decided! But…

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - May 2016

Wish I had waited for the latest model!

Oh! I should’ve got the other dress!

This pair of shoes isn’t really that good, is it?!

How often have you heard yourself or your dear ones make statements such as these after spending your hard earned money on an item? Many a times we get afterthoughts about a decision we have made. While it is quite natural to get these afterthoughts, what we should really be worried is if these afterthoughts begin to affect your happiness.

Many of us spent a considerable amount of time before deciding to invest on an item of interest. The more expensive the item is, the more time it takes to decide on the product. After all the considerations about the cost, design, usability and various other aspects of an item, we finally purchase the product and bring it home.

For a few of us, the moment we step into our home our brain starts playing weird games. It makes you think about the decision you just made. Various complex thought processes pass through your mind about the pros and cons of the decision. Many often the final outcome of all these thought processes will be similar to one of the expressions mentioned in the beginning of this article.

If you are one such human being who has experienced this behavior in your lives, here is a quick thought of how it affects your dear ones. Questioning your decision after investing a considerable time before taking the decision has a two-fold impact. First, you are showing disrespect to one of the most valuable resources in the world – Time! Second you are insulting both yourself and your companion who was with you while making the decision by not giving any value for the effort spent while you reached the decision.

There is another equally important impact of having an indecisive personality such as above. Your indecisiveness makes you forget to live and appreciate the present. You perennially live in the past and are judgmental about the decisions you made. This is an extremely dangerous condition since you’ll never be able to appreciate the beauty of a possession you have. You’ll always want to have something better than what you have currently obtained. The fall side of this is the fact that you fail to observe the beauty that surrounds you and instead you keep searching for the momentary happiness that is yet to be found.

Though what is mentioned here sounds more materialistic this is applicable for any aspect of life. It is not just about products or items, but can be applied about people as well. There are quite a few folks around us leading a very unhappy life citing the partners they’ve got or the troubles they have to face in life due to some members in their families. Such people as in constant pain and they will never be able to find any sort of happiness around them. These people will never be satisfied with whatever they possess and it is extremely difficult for them to appreciate the little joys of life.

Next time when you are unhappy about a decision you’ve made, ask yourself if it is really worth being not happy about the decision or is it the brain that is making you think this way. If so, take a break and make a conscious effort to find a tiny bit of happiness in the same decision. You’ll really be surprise to see that the first reason of happiness you find will lead to more and more of happiness about the same decision. The irony will be, after a while you’ll be ridiculing yourself for questioning the happiness of the same decision a while ago.

Our brain is as powerful as what we teach it. If you want to remain happy, teach your brain to be happy! God bless you with an abundant amount of opportunity to remain happy throughout your life! 

The Complete Couple

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - May 2015

Have you seen people admiring a couple and making this cliche statement, "What a perfect couple?! Made for each other!" I have always wondered what does it really mean. Is there really something called a 'perfect couple'? Isn't it a dream that we always see in some of the less realistic movies? Here's what I figured out.

We see a lot of couples around us daily. We start seeing them right from our family, among friends, at work, outside work and all around us. Two individuals who decide to come together to be a couple and thereby form a family may have many things in common. It is equally important to notice that the uncommon ones quite often override the common elements in their nature. How is it still that some of these couples get certified as perfect?

The best thing to realize when you look at one of these perfect couples is that these two human beings are created by God just like each one of us. They were born in two different families, grew up in their own distinct backgrounds, have their individual views about everything around them and finally were joined as part of a Divine plan. These people were not born immaculate and continue to be imperfect. They make mistakes, they get restless, they fight and in the middle of all these they lead their lives, together.

What differentiates these regular-looking couple from the rest of the world is that they figure out a huge fact about themselves. They know they are incomplete individually, but together they make a Complete Couple! They know each one has got areas they are weak at, all the while realizing the strengths of their partners. This insight is one of the most powerful gifts in the life of any couple! It is no secret that most of the couples could discover this, soon after they begin their life together. The key here is how they make use of what they have learned about their better halves.

Remember learning about metamorphosis back in school? This is the magical process by which an insignificant pupa transforms itself to a beautiful butterfly! This colorful creation of God does not even realize what happens to it over the period of time. All what it does is wait patiently and let the nature take its course. Any impatience will lead to a disaster resulting in a deformed creation. Every 'perfect couple' goes through such a transformation as well.

The moment you decide to make the positives of each other work for your benefit, you transform yourself to a magical couple. Identify the areas where each one is weak and strong. If you are strong in one area ensure that you own it up thereby complimenting the weakness of the other. You could be strong in handling finance whereas your partner may have a unique acumen for planning out things. You may have an amazing eye for detail but your partner may be totally an artistic person.

Whatever unique characters you both are, it is important that you extract the power of your combination to the benefit of the family. Always remember to never let the other one down citing a weakness. Reassure your better half during moments of doubt that you are on a journey together. Tell your partner that you are there to share the load and that's how you fulfill your wedding vows.

May the good God help you realize the power within you to transform yourself as a perfect couple! May the world around now start looking at you and exclaim, "Look at them! There goes a Complete Couple!"

God bless you! 

The Success of Failure

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Nov 2014

Many of us have the habit of planning important events in our lives. These could vary from deciding on higher education or getting married or building/buying a house and lots more. A lot of time gets invested in thinking how to plan and execute each of these events. It is also a usual practice to consult our family and friends before taking such major decisions.

A final decision is usually reached after all such discussions and evaluating the possible options. You even reach a point where you tell your mind that this is the best decision for you and gives a thumbs-up to go ahead with it. It is then, only a matter of time you taste the happiness of the successful decision you took. Occasionally there are times when you end up not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

The success, especially after all the meticulous planning and execution, elates your mind with all the positive feelings that come along with it. A failure could have an equal or at times even more of an impact on your mind. You may experience the power of your positive spirit getting drenched in the water of despair. Some of us feel like being pulled down from the pedestal of sense-of-achievement to an eternal disappointment that we don’t even want to attempt anything else in life. What we fail to observe is the power that comes along with each such failures.

It is absolutely true that every failure teaches you a much bigger lesson than the biggest ever success could make you learn. Probably the hormones that drive the extreme happiness during a success, clouds your ability to learn from it. It could also be due to the fact that, hardly anyone asks themselves, ‘Why did I succeed?’ This is not the case when you fail. Almost everyone does look back knowingly or unknowingly to see where did they fail. This action indeed is the best teacher.

The secret to succeed is not to worry about failures. This must be exactly what Edison meant by saying, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” This is quite true in our lives when we set out to achieve the many different events as mentioned earlier. It is quite natural to feel dejected if you do not succeed even after all the planning and almost certain conclusion. You feel let down and the mental strength seemed to get drained. You experience a very strange phenomenon during a failure. The mountain of confidence you had till a moment back gets bulldozed into a pile of desperation.

It is ok to feel heartbroken since it is an outlet for your mind to let go the bad feeling created with a failure. What is not ok is to linger in the same thoughts for a prolonged period of time. It might sound strange, but realize that failure does have its own good side to it. Each time you fail you learn a few additional aspects of the event in hand. Look at the level of knowledge you had at the beginning of the event. See for yourself how much have you learned with a failure. You’ll be surprised to see that you’ve learned so much more than what you knew earlier. You’ll be better equipped to take up the same task next time with a lot more confidence than before!

Just the way you try to learn from each failure, it is equally important to make yourself trained to take the failures lightly. Remember the well known statement, ‘everything has its own time’. There is a bigger power Who knows what is best for you. Till then it may seem to you that things are not working out the way you want. But realize that it is part of His bigger plans to make things better for you.

Let me leave you with this thought: ‘To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven’. Ecclesiastes 3:1.

God bless you!

World of Negatives

Have you ever come across people who can speak only negative about everything? I have and as a matter of fact I'm positively blessed to be with a few of these beings whom I meet every day in my life! I call that a blessing since these are the people who make me realize how simple my life is. Thank God for that.

Cribbing, Complaining, Crying... These are a few terms that could represent this very specific state of mind. Initially when I got to hear these cribs I was genuinely concerned about the well being of these discontented souls. As time proved, this wasn't exactly the outcome of an unhappy mind. It turned out to be an addiction that led to constant and repetitive sessions that in one way of other, I presume, gives a level of satisfaction which anything else could hardly provide.

Empathy gave way to sympathy. My attempts to sympathize with these lesser mortals took various shapes. Advices, sarcasm, anger and what not! The futility of my heart-felt attempts led to sheer pity for these people. Probably what they realize not is the fact that, more you are negative about something the least possible will that look. The reality of negative energy is such that it spreads like an epidemic across the omnipresent neurons. This leads to a situation where every other possible experience of a human mind gets corrupted with these cancerous thoughts!

The worst of all scenarios is when these dear little Children of God not realizing that they are treading a path which after a while will take them to the point of no return. They won't even realize the quick sand of emotional negativity into which they get sucked in. The power of negative thoughts is indeed one of the strongest. It is so easy to be caught in this without even the slightest of the effort. The once innocent psyche gets engulfed into the claws of this fieriest of the beasts world has always faced!

I honestly appeal to all those who realize or otherwise to sit and think. Are you stepping towards the destiny you create for yourself? Learn to live a life where you find the little joys and positive self. Nurture your happiness. It is just like any other living organism. You take care; it'll grow, flower and bear fruits. You feed it with toxic thoughts, die it will, a real painful death. And mind you, it'll take you along with it!!!

Be Positive!