Social Net – Is it really working?

My article published in Bethlehem Matrimonial Magazine - December 2012 Edition

My grandfather is one who has seen Earth completing its journey around the Sun, 99 times! Believe me or not he still has not got tired of that sight. I was fortunate enough to have heard numerous stories from his century old experience on this tiny planet in this Universe. Among these I distinctly remember the one he shared with me about how his wedding got fixed.

Those were the times when the opinion of prospective bride and groom didn’t count much in decisions pertaining to marriage. It was the elders of the family who decided for you, the most important aspect of your life! This could sound strange for the current generation; then again we’re talking about the world in early 1900s.

Grandpa recalled having told by one of his maternal uncles, one fine day, that they have made a plan for him to meet a girl and asked him to get ready. Everything happened in a jiffy and the next thing he remembers is being seated at the home where somewhere inside there was this young lady who was destined to become my grandmother someday in future.

All that my grandfather could get was a quick glance of the bride-to-be, merged with the shadow of the door that was half open. A true life story of marriages being made in heaven and the lesser mortals down on Earth left with no clue about how it happened!

Let us fast forward to the year which will mark the Diamond Jubilee of this very special day for my grandparents. It will be an understatement to say, a lot has changed since then, to the scene of wedding fixing. We now speak of the world where babies in the womb having user profiles on the latest social media who tweets their arrival to the world and plans for a global get together of all the babies born on the same day and same time through the multitude of apps available on the latest smart phones!

The good old parents can’t even imagine the ways with which their children communicate today. The fact is many do not even know technology exists that can break all the traditional barriers of getting to know each other. There are a hundred different ways for today’s brides and grooms to-be, to know the detailed history and even predict how marriage-worthy will a girl or boy is even before you suggest to your child about meeting one.

Proposals still flow through matrimonial sites among other channels and by the time an alliance is thought about by the parents, the girl or boy would’ve got to know each other in the virtual world. Since the world of networking co-exist with people sharing similar psyche it is no longer a surprise that either of them will have a bunch of mutual friends which makes it much easier to get more information.

Friendship circle further extends and the poor parents will be in for a shocker of their life when they ‘liberally’ decide to get the mobile number of the prospective bride or groom for their kid! These modern day wonders would’ve already planned their post retirement getaway on the golden beaches of Tahiti along with their circle of friends and their future partners. What leaves the yester years’ generation more perplexed is the swiftness by which their sons and daughters get all these done!

I admit that some of what has been said above could be a bit exaggerated; nevertheless we need to believe that this is no fantasy. The world has changed and so has the younger generation. Both the parents and their children need to realize the impact of social networking on each other. As exciting as it could get for you to know about your prospective future partner through these options, it is equally important that you appreciate the insights shared by your parents and siblings. Every adult has an amount of reasoning granted by your Creator which should be put to the best use before you take vital decisions in life.

May you be able to appreciate the power of both your family as well as social networking and may the good God help you strike a balance between emotions and reasoning.

After all it is their life

Getting married is one experience in your life during which you feel all possible emotions overflowing unlike anything before. You prepare yourself for the mental, emotional and physical presence of a new person in your life. The games played by your mind during this period is nothing but diabolic! At times you feel elated, at times totally question your decision and yet other times you are driven nuts by a variety of thoughts and concerns that run through your mind like in a sprint.

Invariably you turn to your friends and relatives for solace and many will offer a lot. Some will have the traditional wisdom and some the craziest and most bizarre of all ideas you would ever get in this world! This is a boon and a curse at the same time. You'll get so much of information about almost every other aspect of life, some you may not even utilize ever! Yet, you look forward to listen to them and see if it helps in any possible way.

Invitations will duly be sent to all these relatives and friends who had always told you that they are dying to attend your wedding. You prepare yourself to tie the knot in the presence of all these people who will be dressed up for the occasion and you happily await their wishes. These will be the same people to whom you would've cribbed over the last few years of not able to find the right girl. These will be the same people who would've advised you that everything has its own time and when that comes we'll be right beside you to see you tie the knot. These will be the same people who had promised to be part of the biggest day of your life!

As the countdown progresses, you start to see a strange phenomenon. You call up people to remind them about the date and confirm their presence. All advises and promises suddenly seem to take a back seat. All the intense emotions of dying-to-attend-your-wedding seem to be passé. Life seems to take its own course of action and priorities get redefined for many. Reasons that were insignificant till the day before suddenly take the front row of life and the rest all gets pushed to the oblivion.

The most important thought that runs in the mind will be, after all he is sensible and he will understand!

Understand I will, about the changing preferences, but not before inflicting a pain deeper in the heart that has been seasoned enough to have been conditioned to expect. What these very same people who mean the world to you don't realize is a simple fact. The presence and presence alone of these dearest ones, is what makes the biggest ever day in my life complete!

I believe I've the right to feel the pain, else my heart which is the store house of all the emotions will feel dejected with the feeling of injustice. The only saving grace perhaps is the thought that my mind keeps telling me, ' After all it is their life'…