Age no bar

One of the most common terms you see in a traditional matrimonial advertisement is ‘Age no bar'. It is a declaration of zero conditions regarding the age of a potential future partner. While this is to find a possible match, I was fortunate to witness another flavour of ‘Age no bar’ during my school days. This time it was all about love, the love I was quite lucky to see between my dearest uncle and aunt.

Chittappa, that’s what we call dad’s younger brother in Malayalam and Chittamma for his wife. This was a time when internet slowly started making its presence felt in the houses in our town in Kerala. Chittappan and family were settled in US. One of those days, Chittappan had to travel alone to India. It was quite unusual to see them not being together since they were seldom seen apart when they travelled.

Chittappan that day, reached our home after a tiring flight. He freshened up and got me to connect the internet for him. Soon Chittamma was online on Yahoo Chat, one of the widely used chat engines those days. Voice chat was yet to be common and hence Chittappan had to type the statements in the chat window.

Let me give you a social background in Kerala while this was happening. I’m talking about a Kerala that was 25 years back. Those were the times when most parents very rarely expressed their love openly for each other. Words of love were hardly spoken, especially in public between the father and mother. I don’t really recollect my parents giving a hug in public. Any behaviour otherwise were not among the accepted norms in our society then.

While such a social behaviour existed, it won’t be an exaggeration if I say I was absolutely stunned when I saw the words Chittappan typed on the chat window. It was that time of the year when jackfruit was available in plenty in Kerala. As expats they must have shared a special love towards this fruit since it wasn’t that common in US. He asked her, “Chakka venodi chakkare” literally translated as “Do you need jackfruit darling”?

It may sound quite silly to be surprised at so simple a statement. But honestly, it was one of the biggest shockers of my life that someone who were of my parents’ age can speak like this publicly. It was something short of a taboo in a society where I lived. That day, I guess, changed my perspective about life. A realization of the meaning of love hit me hard. Chittappan and Chittamma, through their expression of love taught me one of the most valuable lessons in life. There is no age limit for love and more importantly do not hold yourself back from expressing your love to a dear one!

They were one of the earliest love birds I’ve seen. They taught me the happiness of being together. In a world when people get scared to be in a commitment let alone getting married, Chittappan and Chittamma were God sent real life examples for me to strongly believe in the beauty of a married life. The joy of the life they shared always reflected in the smiles they adorned. I’ve never seen either of them walking around with a frown. They appeared to me in a perennial state of bliss.

The flow of life is such that two distinct streams of water join hands in Holy Matrimony and flow together as one river. The love for each other nourishes the banks of this river thereby sharing the happiness they experienced with others. I’m so thankful to God that I’ve been a recipient of such endless love from a very beautiful river that flowed through my life.

A couple of weeks back, Chittappan slightly changed his course to join his Creator leaving behind a legacy along with Chittamma for an entire generation to learn and live on in the spirit of love.

May you all be blessed in this New Year with the presence of such wonderful people who enrich our lives while they are around and even after that!

The Mind Scale

It is almost that time of the year when some of us start doing a retrospection of our life in the last year. We look for what went well and what didn’t. There are few others among us who believe that such an exercise is futile and don’t even bother to invest time in this. This has always been an ongoing debate and could very well be a topic of discussion by itself. Let me not attempt that now. Instead I want to take a look at two distinct personalities among us when it comes to decision making.

Think about this scenario. Someone you know, a family member or a colleague asks you to do an activity. It could be a favour or an action you are asked to do. What is your natural way of responding to such a request? As soon as you are faced with the query, do you respond immediately? Alternately do you try to weigh the pros and cons of the question before even attempting a response? All of us belong to either of these categories.

There are some of us who are super quick with our response. This is a double edged sword. A quick response results in quick decisions. When the decision turns out to be beneficial for both the parties, it can be perceived as a positive decision. But this need not necessarily be the case always. There could be times when rushing to a decision will lead to unwarranted commitments from your side. You may not even have thought through all possible effects of your decision. Since you have given a commitment, you are now left with only two choices. You will be forced to fulfil the promise by taking a hit on your time or budget. Else you will have to go back on your word citing practical difficulties. Both leaves a bitter aftertaste.

The smarter ones do things differently. The moment they are faced with a decision making situation, something deep down in their mind gets activated. There is a mental weighing scale that comes alive in such situations. They’ll promptly put the pros and cons for the request or demand on the scale. A series of magical calculations does a fly past in their mind while they analyse all possible options. A well informed conclusion or decision is reached at the end of this exercise which is promptly communicated to the person who put the request forward. The benefit of this approach is a solid decision which they rarely have to change. If at all someone needs to change, it is usually the person who raised the request who’ll possibly need to make the required amendments.

Most often these difference in personalities are attributes of an individual. You could be born with these or could have inherited it. What is important is to realize the category you belong to. More importantly do an exercise to figure out what was your course of action when you faced such decision making situations in the past. How did you respond? Did you belong to the quick decision category or informed decision category? Did you face any challenges with the decisions you took or was it a cake walk? Did you ever have to go through a lot of pain to fulfil your promise or even had to go back on your words on a second thought? Did you ever tell yourself that you could’ve waited for some time before giving that commitment to someone? If you answered yes, then you may want to consider learning from those people who take informed decisions and apply it very well.

May this festive season help us reflect on our personalities and lead us to understand our decision making skills better. If required, may you be blessed with the courage to bring in the change required so that all your future decisions will be formed and received well!

Wish you all a Merry Christmas!  

The Fragrance

This was a few years before India started to hear words such as globalization and liberalisation. For a school going kid, a visit from an NRI uncle and family in Gulf had the excitement similar or even more than the annual feast at the local church.

Starting from preparations to receive the family to getting up at odd hours and waiting impatiently to get into a Tempo Traveller to head to the airport, obtaining the pass to the visitor’s gallery at the airport, rushing to find a suitable spot in the gallery, the anticipation of arriving aircraft, opening of the doors, counting the passengers getting down one by one and finally sighting the familiar faces of uncle and family, all contributed to the greatest experience of the year!

The icing on the cake was seeing the number of large bags uncle brought with him since everything about those bags was new to the pre-globalization eyes of a school going kid. As soon as we reached home, the baggage were promptly taken to the room that awaited their visit. Soon enough the whole room will have a very unique fragrance, the likes of which only comes with an NRI Gulf family of those times!

The days ahead will be filled with surprises after surprises. The joy of receiving a gift, the happiness of seeing things beyond your imagination and the overall experience of being with someone who crossed the proverbial seven seas were all adding to the experience.

A month will fly by and soon it will be time for uncle and family to return to their NRI status. I hated the trips to airport to see off someone, nevertheless I did go many times. Through tearful eyes we bid goodbye. It was a heart breaking moment to stand on the same viewer’s gallery and watch the aircraft take off.

You return home and try to relive the happy moments in the now empty room. All that remains is the fragrance from the bags that were in the room.

James Mukkadan, my uncle, who gifted me all those priceless moments is no longer with us as he joined the Creator earlier today (27 Nov 2019), for a well-deserved eternal life. He leaves behind a great legacy.

I now realize something more important. Uncle, what you left behind in that empty room was not just the fragrance from your bags. It is a whole lot of memories that you created with your genuine love and care. You will be deeply missed and remembered forever! 

The Christmas Gift

The school bus stopped right in front of the mansion partially engulfed in mist on that chilly December evening. As she got down, Jessy pulled the cardigan closer to her chest to protect herself from the cold wind. She waved goodbye to her friends and was welcomed back home by the glittering lights that were adding to the celebration scene getting ready for a double delight. Jessy and Jesus shared birthdays! The sentry opened the gate for her and the familiar sight of her beautiful home unravelled in front of her, this time even more beautiful with the lovely lights sparkling all around.

Three luxury cars adorned the main porch, adding to the pomp and glory of the mansion. But to Jessy, there was one eyesore, a car that was parked a bit aside in a dedicated porch. It was an Ambassador painted in yellow and black, the one that was typical of taxis in India in 90’s. This was the only thing about which she fought with her brother John. Even on her last birthday, when she turned fourteen, she asked him as a wish to get rid of the strange car. Her brother as always, with lots of love, promptly turned down this request.

The Ambassador reminded John of his humble beginnings and he wanted to retain it as a sacred memory. There wasn’t anyone else to whom Jessy could complain since from the time she could remember, her brother was the only relative she ever had. There was an old black and white picture of their parents that was prominently placed on the majestic wall of the living room.

Jessy vaguely recollect her past when they did not have all these luxury in their life. It was her brother’s dedication alone that made him the successful business man the town knows today. She still can’t believe that he used to be behind the wheels of the same Ambassador which she hated from the bottom of her heart. If there was one thing her friends ridiculed her for, it was the strange presence of that car right in front of their grand residence.

There was another weird practice in that house associated to this car. During Christmas and her birthday, the house got decorated with lights of all colours except for the porch where the Ambassador stood. The porch will always be decorated with lights shining in bright red colour. There were strict instructions from John to the staff not to use any other colour for this porch. The car and the porch appeared to Jessy as nothing short of a bad omen bathed in red. Jessy had asked him why and this is one mystery for which she never got a convincing answer.

She had made a decision this year. Christmas this time was not going to be the same. She was not going to turn fifteen without changing the bad omen at least as the first step. She’ll bring more happiness by decorating the age old car and porch with bright and beautiful colours than the depressing red. Next step will be to get rid of the car altogether. She had to plan well for this since it was pretty evident that she was treading dangerous waters on this with her brother!

She invited a few of her friends over. Together they plotted a secret plan. ‘Mission Red Devil’ was launched! First they’ll ensure that the red lights got replaced and then they’ll find a way to get rid of the car altogether. For the first objective, they managed to get hold of one of the staff members in the house and convinced him to get them a bunch of multi-coloured lights.

While they were at it, a familiar face of an old man appeared at the gate. Jessy identified him as the second mystery associated with the Ambassador. This man promptly came during Christmas time every year. John took great efforts to receive him and treat him well. They both will be seen talking for a long time and most of the conversations happened right next to the car. He was introduced once to Jessy as an old friend of John who helped in the days when John was driving the taxi. Nothing more was said about him.

Soon John went out with the old man. While they were away, Jessy and friends acted quickly. Within an hour, they applied garlands of light on the porch with every other colour than red. As they plugged in the light, the gate opened. John was received with the shocking view of a brightly lit car porch where the good old Ambassador was covered in a multi-coloured robe. His expression was priceless! All the red that were missing at the porch found its way to his face. He was furious and the girls had never seen him like that. He didn’t say a word except for asking the staff to put the red lights back on.

Jessy dropped her friends back shortly. She returned home, but to a different one than the one she left. It was a dead house. Even the lights that shined did not seem to bring the life that once filled the space. John was sitting right below the picture frame of their parents and looked devastated. Jessy was quite surprised. Was it all because of the lights? Why was it so important that the change brought such a drastic transformation to their home? She demanded an answer from her brother which was greeted with a terminal silence and that silence killed her.

This was it! She had been patient for the last fifteen years. Each time the question was raised about the car and the strange ways about it at their home, John was quite evasive. She sat down next to him and looked right into his eyes and said, “I really need you to tell me brother, what is the secret with this car and why is a mere change of decoration lights bothering you so much? I’m not a baby anymore for you to hold back the truth. You act like a total stranger each time I come up with this question. You are so weird when it comes to this topic and guess what I feel? I don’t belong here!”

As soon as she finished those last words, John burst into tears with a loud cry! A bunch of emotions that were buried deep down in his mind for the last decade and a half finally found its way out. His memories took him back to a Christmas Eve fifteen years ago. It was quite late in the evening. He was driving the taxi and was about to drop home a young couple expecting their first baby soon. This was his seventh trip for the day and possibly the last one since he was really tired with all the traffic of the season. He badly wanted to get back home and have a peaceful evening all by himself celebrating Christmas. The couple who owned the taxi which he drove had told him to take a day off on Christmas and nothing could get better than that.

As he was taking the final turn to the young couple’s home a flash of a bright light hit the car. He could hardly make out the shape of a truck and took a sharp turn to the left. The truck hit the side where the lady was seated. The impact was huge that he remember the car spinning for a few times before it came to a halt. The young man, soon to be a father, died on the spot. While John though had broken a bone or two, couldn’t help but hear the heart wrenching cry from the fully pregnant lady. The pain was unbearable, yet he managed to crawl out of the car. A passing car stopped by and the man who now visited them every Christmas helped John to take the lady to a nearby hospital. She was unconscious by the time they reached the Emergency section. He was soon taken inside as well and while they prepared him for a surgery, he vaguely remember hearing the doctors speak that the lady won’t make it.

A few days later as he was ready to leave the hospital, the nurses helped him onto the taxi that was waiting to take him home. But just before that, he was directed by a nurse to the neo natal ward. The place was all decorated for Christmas with bright red lights everywhere. The nurse took him to a tiny girl among the other babies there. They called her Jessy, the one that was miraculously saved from a dying mother a few minutes after the clock struck twelve on the Christmas day that year! He looked into her tiny eyes and saw the reflection of the shining red lights in them. They were shining like the Star of Bethlehem. Jessy, his sister, was born in his mind.

He took her to the couple who owned his taxi. For them, John and Jessy became the kids they never had. John inherited the taxi from them and moved to this town later, along with her. He also brought a priceless item along with him. An old black and white picture of the couple which was duly placed on the living room wall.

John finished the narration and looked at his sister. She got up and walked towards the window from where she could see the car that was parked in the porch. He reached out to her and they looked at each other. They could see the reflection of the bright red lights in their eyes. For Jessy, those were the most precious rubies she had ever seen in her life!

The Purple Carrot

Mia, my four year old, called it a day and closed her colouring book. She was quite fond of the book and experienced the bliss of giving life to the black and white images by doing her magic with the bunch of colour pencils she has. The book she was colouring, had a lot of images with jungle theme including a few rabbits and carrots.

Keeping aside the book, she jumped on to the bed and snuggled under the blanket and hugged me tightly. Then came the default demand for a bed time story. Since she was colouring a few rabbits and carrots earlier, I decided to tell her a story of a rabbit searching for carrots through a jungle. Even before the story got over she slipped into a sweet dream where she found herself following a cute little rabbit in a jungle that was known for its bright orange carrots!

Eddie, just like any other rabbit loved carrots. He was out on a stroll searching for the sweetest of the carrots the jungle could offer. He searched and searched the various locations where he could possibly find carrots. Finally Eddie came across a large area where he saw countless carrot plants. He jumped up and down with joy!

Mia followed Eddie as he dashed across the garden of carrots. As soon as he found a plant that seems to carry ripe carrots he dug up the earth and promptly pulled out the carrot bunch from the soil. He gave out another cry! But this time it wasn’t a cry of joy. He cried in surprise to see a bunch of carrots which was purple in colour!

Mia saw the colour of carrots and was totally taken aback. She was equally confused as Eddie about the purple colour carrots. Carrots ought to be orange in colour and why are these purple?! That’s when it dawned on her. 

A while ago, before she closed her colouring book, the last picture she was colouring was a bunch of carrots. She looked for the bright orange colour pencil. Since she couldn’t find it, she made an announcement, “Dad, I can’t find my orange pencil and so I am going to colour the carrots purple!” I remember asking her to find the orange colour pencil since carrots cannot be purple. She didn’t bother to find the orange colour pencil, instead coloured the carrots purple as she said.

“Goodness! What did I do?” thought Mia. “I turned all the carrots in the world purple!” She had a very disturbed sleep and woke up the next day with a heavy heart. I had never seen her with so less energy levels in the morning. I asked her what was wrong. She said nothing except that she badly needs an orange colour pencil. She pestered me so much that I had to find the orange colour pencil for her and only then she let me head to my office.

As I was starting from home, she gave me a hurried kiss and saw her heading to the colouring book. Since I was getting late I didn’t ask any further.

It was evening soon and I returned home. I had a grocery bag in my hand. I placed the bag on the kitchen table and started taking out the groceries. As soon as I placed the carrots on the table I heard a gasp followed by a cry of joy behind me!

Mia was standing right behind with a beaming smile holding her colouring book and looking at the carrots on the table. She held the page open where I saw a bunch of bright orange coloured carrots!

Get Lost… Never!

My wife and I with our two kids have been living in Dubai for close to a decade. Though I’ve been driving in Dubai all the while, when we first planned an international trip to Mauritius, we decided to play it safe and hired a taxi instead of renting a car. But our next trip was a much bigger one to Europe across four countries. This time we said we need to experience driving in Europe and hence started looking at options to rent a car.

The price range for car rental is directly proportional to the type of the car you choose and the various features that you want in the car. Lesser the add-ons, better it is for your budget. One of the most obvious features you need while driving in a new geography is the help of a map. With technology so advanced and super capable mobile phones, we were quite confident that we’ll use Google Maps on our mobile phones to navigate anywhere around Europe. Hence we ruled out the need to get a car with GPS which would’ve added to the cost anyways.

Shortly after this, we landed in Stuttgart in Germany, from where we’d planned to hire the car. Fortunately we got a free upgrade to a Ford C-Max from a VW Golf we booked initially. It took a while for us to locate the car in the multi-storey parking facility nearby. As soon as we found the car and got in, we realized that the upgrade came with a GPS connectivity as well. But since our trust on technology and mobile phones was far better than this ‘old world navigation system’ we didn’t even bother to turn on the GPS.

Sure enough, Google Map on our mobile started directing us out of the parking lot of the building and showed the duration as an hour and forty minutes to Black Forest. I was quite thrilled to drive in Europe for the first time and soon reached the first set of traffic lights.

That’s when it happened. Google Maps went dead! The last thing we expected to happen in Europe was losing the network on the phones. We were lost!

We’re left in absolute darkness about which way to proceed. The traffic lights soon turned green and since I had to move the car, I took a left turn and followed the traffic till we reached the next traffic lights. That’s when it dawned on to us. There is a silent saviour in our car. The one who we discarded as ‘old world’. We switched on the good old GPS and that was our moment of redemption.

From that instant onwards, if there was one thing we never let go during the entire trip was our trust on GPS. With this good old saviour, rest assured that you’ll never get lost!

Always ensure that you get a car with a GPS and enjoy absolute peace of mind!  

Forsaken!

The train rolled on to the darker side of platform number 13 at Bangalore City Junction. The ominous number made Alex a bit uneasy, yet he got up from his seat even before the engine reached a full halt. Travelling by train along with Nisha and two of their little ones was his last preference. But this was a trip that was forced upon them since no other modes of transport were available at such a short notice. Luca who turned six last month and Leya his little sister who will soon celebrate her third birthday were still sleeping on the middle berth.

Alex started pulling out the luggage and told Nisha to take care of the kids while he unloaded the bags to the busy platform. He had to struggle a bit to get the luggage out and still keep a check on all the pieces from the prying eyes of possible luggage snatchers. Nisha somehow managed to wake up Luca and gave a helping hand to Alex to offload the last piece of luggage, it was the biggest of the lot. He placed all the pieces safely on the platform and helped Nisha get down by taking Luca in his hand. That’s when they realized, Leya is not with either of them!

“Daddy!” A spine chilling cry came from the compartment where they were! Alex felt his heart in his mouth as he dashed back into the compartment where Leya was left sleeping. In a flash of a second he reached the middle berth where a few minutes back the little one was seen cuddling her favourite teddy and covered in a baby pink blanket, for she loved to be wrapped even when it wasn’t cold.

The blanket and teddy were still there. Only them! Alex for a moment felt completely drained off his blood. But he gathered himself quickly and looked around. All of a sudden he got a glimpse of a man, face covered with a chequered woollen shawl carrying something on his shoulder trying to head to the other end of the cabin.

Alex saw what was on the man's shoulder. It moved and a tiny hand reached out to him. The very hand that he had held numerous times in the past and lifted all the way up to his shoulder. His precious little gem, daddy’s adorable little princess was struggling for dear life in the arms of a stranger, trying with all her might to reach out to her hero, her dad.

He sprinted at the stranger who was seen stepping down at the end of the compartment. Alex barely reached the exit when he heard the shrilling sound of a whistle and felt a jolt. The train took off with him trapped inside.

Alex looked through the window. The little hand was still seen at a distance stretched out with the hope of her dad coming and rescuing her. As the train chugged ahead, Alex stood there not able to move but merely stare at a warning sign board posted inside the compartment. It read, “The railways will not be responsible for any valuables left unattended".