When my niece stopped a plane!

Bangalore, the beautiful garden city was engulfed in a thick blanket of fog at 4 o’ clock in the morning that day. Getting up that early was not my usual routine, but it was meant to be a very special day. I was to drop my dear cousin and her little one to the airport. My cousin had a trans-Atlantic flight to catch from Bangalore all the way to Chicago with one stop in-between. It was going to be an affair with the skies for more than 20 hours! She was quite tensed thinking of the long journey with my niece who was just a few months old. The very first flight for the baby!

We reached the airport before time so that she could comfortably finish check-in related procedures. These were the days when online check-in was yet to become the norm. My uncle and aunt, her parents, were with us as well to see her off. Uncle informed her that we’ll wait outside the airport till the time the flight departs. It was probably one of the finest decisions uncle took which I’m sure made him happy later.

The sequence of incidents that unfolded later was to be termed nothing less than a real-life-drama. My sister along with the baby completed the check-in procedures pretty well. Being a mom for the first time and travelling with a few days old baby is never an easy combination. She somehow managed to complete the process and moved to the boarding gate. Soon enough she found herself seated next to an American guy who was destined to have a flight of his lifetime!

Shortly before the take-off, my niece decided that she had enough of being a nice kid and started acting cranky. My cousin used every possible arsenal she had to pacify the little one. This was the first of a million times she was to realize that there were certain moments when no tricks what-so-ever worked with an angry baby. What she wouldn’t have known then is that she was to become an expert in all such cases soon with God blessing her with four more such angels in future!

The baby continued to act difficult and started crying incessantly. My cousin could see the American gentleman starting to get a bit uneasy in the next seat. Somehow he seemed to have got a vision of what’s going to happen next and was mentally preparing for the worst. The cabin crew started to take notice of the situation as well. While the drama was on, the captain of the flight announced the immediate departure of the flight. The tyres started to roll.

My niece promptly elevated the tension of the scene by shifting her crying to top gear. Soon she was competing with the vibration of the flight taxiing to the runway with her earth shattering scream. She realized that something needed to be done immediately lest the flight will take off. The moment of truth arrived! She took her full strength and with a loud cry splashed an entire load of vomit right on to the lovely wrinkle free shirt of the American. This was the very moment when flight touched the runway!

The whole scene on-board turned quite chaotic. Everyone around my cousin’s seat started getting panicky. The cabin crew decided to intervene. Without wasting a moment they informed the dire situation to the captain. This was moments before the flight was given clearance to take off by Air Traffic Control.

Not knowing any of these dramatic events, we remained at the airport parking lot awaiting the sight of the departing flight. Shortly after my niece finished executing her final scene of the play, my uncle got a call on his mobile. I could see his face muscles getting tightened as my sister gave him a quick summary of what happened. In a few minutes, we greeted her along with my niece at the Arrivals area of the airport.

My sister narrated the unbelievable story again to all of us. I looked at my niece and there she was, peacefully lying in the arms of my aunt. She even had a smile, the one that is seen only on the face of those who created history!

The Purse Holder

I received an interesting message on one of the WhatsApp groups the other day. The message said money has different names based on the context. For example, money is called offering at church, fees in school, tax for government etc. It ended with the question, “When a man gives money to his wife what do we call it?” I gave it a thought and before sending a response I showed the message to my seven year old son. Promptly came his answer. His said ‘sharing’. Honestly, I couldn’t think of a better answer!

When it comes to a family united through marriage, one of the key factors that will form the basis of everyday living is the cash flow. The obvious question that gets raised many a times is, who is the purse holder? I do not plan to prescribe a recommended way of money management here. All what I intend to do is share a point of view. As the case is with a few other sensitive areas in marriage, this is a decision which couples need to take with a lot of prudence.

The concept of bread-winner associated with men of the family has become a matter of history in many of the families we see around. Women in the past were either not allowed to learn or earn. This obviously led to the man of the family being the sole earning member. Some men associated the earning potential to a sign of power and demanded that they have the final say on the family spend. There were others who literally outsourced the management of finance to their wives and only considered them as mere bread-winners and were least interested in managing the distribution of resources.

Both the approaches mentioned above had its own flaws. The former was quite chauvinistic whereas the latter befriended lethargy. A middle-line seems more acceptable especially in today’s families where earning member is still one person. This is all the more important since the member who remained non-earning is due to their choice than by design.

Most of the families today where women choose to take a break from work due to parental responsibilities do that out of a choice they made for the family. This doesn’t make them any less important than the earning men of these families. In fact their decision needs to be respected even more since if they had decided otherwise the men in these families would’ve never been able to celebrate Father’s Day!

The important fact that needs to be remembered and understood by a couple is that money earned by one or both, is the money earned by the family as one unit. The amount does not belong to the person, instead it belongs to the institution called family. The family members have equal rights on the amount. It is only incidental that one chose to work and the other chose to be a home maker. One is not a premium service than the other. Both these vocations have their own sets of challenges and we’ve heard enough and more stories of how men are known for belittling the volume of work done by the home makers. A true man will always see him at par with his wife and never at different levels of value chain in the family.

There are different ways to ensure that the non-earning member of the family is equally empowered when it comes to the matter of money. Getting supplementary bank cards, maintaining a home purse and ensuring a constant supply of cash, sharing the banking and cash management channels with each other and ensuring transparency in every bit of cash spent are a few tips that can work well to maintain a balance between the parties.

The approach could be slightly different in families receiving two sources of income. A few families I know have decided to use one of the sources for daily expense and the other one is saved totally for investments. There could be many such different ways of money management.

We all need to sit and think which approach suits us the best and implement the method as long as we learn to appreciate the fact that the purse is held by both the parties and together we are responsible for what goes out from it. May you be blessed with the judiciousness for spending well for your families! 

Stroller Power

Our daughter celebrated her first birthday a few weeks before our trip together as a family to Mauritius. My wife and I debated on the need to take the baby stroller with us. Convenience for the baby was the only argument for taking it whereas we could list down quite a few reasons not to take the stroller including the hassle of carrying it, extra luggage etc. to name a few.

Guess the emotional element of baby’s comfort finally overruled every other argument and we ended up carrying the stroller with us. Little did we know that the one year old who ‘convinced us’ to take the stroller was doing us a favour without which the entire trip would’ve been a disaster!

For all the young parents out there, stroller is one powerful accessory you should definitely include in your luggage. Here are some of the quick benefits we realized with this magical vehicle which contributed a lot to our peace of mind during this trip as well as the future ones:

Carrying the little ones

It is probably the most underestimated task especially if you’ve not experienced it before. When on a trip, carrying the kid in your hand can literally be dangerous for your health since sooner or later you’re going to figure out how much of a colossal effort that is! Placing the kid on the stroller not just helps you to be free but more importantly is extremely comfortable for the kid as well. Also, if you are a parent with two kids with minimal age difference you could alternate the usage of stroller so that you don’t tire out the elder one too much.

A push cart

Strollers though are designed primarily to carry kids, many parents use them as a push cart as required. This is even more applicable and useful when you are on a trip. There will be quite a few items that you may be required to carry which can all possibly be supported by this wonderful ride. 

Managing the stroller

Remember the hassles I mentioned earlier that we were debating about carrying the stroller as an extra luggage? If you are taking a flight, many airlines today allow you to carry the baby on the stroller itself till the point of boarding where they’ll take the stroller from you to check that in. A few other airlines’ take the stroller at the Check-in counter itself which you could collect at the destination. Do remember that due to the size of the stroller, it may not be arriving on the same carrousel / belt along with your luggage, instead could be arriving on the over-sized luggage carrousel. This again could be different for different airports.

On the other hand, if you are travelling by train or by road, you could easily find a spot to park the stroller either below the seats or in a luggage holding section if available. In any case, the good news is that managing a stroller isn’t that difficult as what we expected. The benefits a stroller provides definitely outweighs any inconvenience it may cause.

Having said this, there could be certain types of trips where you may want to consider twice before you plan to take a stroller. If your trip is to a beach destination or a challenging trekking expedition, taking a stroller may not necessarily provide you with the benefits cited above. On the contrary it may in fact add to your luggage making the trip more strenuous.

As I strongly believe, you can read or listen to the experience of others but never forget to apply common sense from your perspective to see what is best for you!

Bon voyage!   

Trip Elf: Your Travel Buddy

When it comes to travelling, there are three types of people in this world. Those who love to travel and explore the world around them is the first category. There are others who hate travelling for multiple reasons, mostly personal ones. We then have a third category who are occasional travellers.

Irrespective of the category you belong to, this is an attempt to share a few tips related to travel in general. If you are one who loves travelling, I’m sure you may have experienced some of these yourself and are welcome to make use of the rest. If you hate travelling, I’m positive that you may find some of these tips to help you to rethink on your resistance to travel since you don’t really know what you are missing!

This is a series on such tips that I keep gathering over my trips and am more than happy to share them with you. These will evolve over a period of time and I’ll keep adding to this series as and when I have something worth sharing.

Happy reading and enjoy your trip!

Travel Tips 01 – Planning Your Trip

Idly-Vada @ 45 miles

Exactly a decade back, with all the excitement in the world I stepped on to the soil of Atlanta for my first ever on-site assignment in life. Accommodation was arranged in a beautiful duplex house where I had a studio flat for myself! Considering the bare-minimum-living experience till that date, I couldn’t ask for more. It was sheer luxury! Soon I started getting adjusted to the American way of life which was the case to be for the next three months. As days passed, deep down in me I could feel a craving building up. There was one thing missing among all the glory, our very own Indian food!

I had enough of all the junk I was having day-in day-out. Soon I realised that a few members in my team shared the same feeling. We all have been longing to taste the delicacies from the good old cuisines of India. Somehow we figured out the presence of Saravana Bhavan, a well-known restaurant famous for South Indian specialities. The GPS in the car warned us about a long ride of 45 miles. We were determined.

Soon enough we parked next to what looked like heaven to all of us. The aroma of idly and dosa filled the air. Never in our lives have we noticed eyes sparkling with the sight of tiny bowls of chutney and sambar. We all ate to our hearts’ content and returned home as a bunch of happiest young minds. The 90 miles journey that day, was worth every moment though till then I never imagined that one day I’ll travel a distance such as this to savour one of the simplest of the dishes in India’s wide range of cuisines.

Looking back, the trip that we did years back reminded me of a valuable lesson in life. As cliché as it may sound, a pair of idly and vada taught us that there is no challenge in life that we can’t overcome if we are ready to push ourselves that extra mile. How many times in our lives we might have given up on something stating it is too difficult a task? How many fights we would’ve had with our loved ones saying it is not possible? How many opportunities would we’ve let go saying it is too far-fetched for me? All these are the moments which if we stretched ourselves a little more would’ve helped us relish the fruits of our labour.

I recollect a recent conversation at a social gathering by a friend who said you could be happy and write all these as long as you don’t have to face issues in life. All what I wanted to tell that friend is, God has not placed us on an altar preventing all the challenges from reaching us. Instead, we’ve our fair share of issues that we faced in the past and we continue to face challenges every other day. It is a combination of prayers, love and care that guides us forward, especially during trying times.

Happiness is not a constant natural state of mind. It is the result of our efforts we put in, just the way we drove 45 miles to get idly and vada. It is important that we consciously take an effort every day in our life and for sure it will return us the investment in the form of happiness. No one other than us can continue to create the magic of happiness in our life. Many a times these extra efforts we put in is more like a long term financial investment. We may not see an immediate result but for sure will see the result soon if we are patient enough. When it comes to investing in relationships, at least we can clearly be happy that our waiting time won’t be that long as the usual market funds.

Remember this always, when the going gets tough there is always a plate of happiness waiting for you at a distance. You just need to reach out for it and experience the bliss though it may seem an impossible thing to achieve.

God bless! 

Drops of life

It was meant to be a special day. I woke up with lots of happiness and was all set for many beautiful moments. Destiny, I didn’t know, had different plans. A few minutes later I was to drop and break a glass bottle and let the sharp edge explore the depth of my upper palm. I could see myself trying everything possible from applying ice to pressing hard on the cut to stop the bleeding. The blood seemed to be in no mood to stop. It was quite early in the morning and I guess that made the clotting process slower.

I started to get worried. Images of me getting drained of the precious drops of life and blanking out before I could reach out for help started doing rounds in my mind. I could even see a faint image of a tombstone at the very end of my imagination. Weird are the ways of human brain.

As the blood flow continued and my imaginations working overtime, I could see something else happening. Along with the stream of blood that was flowing I could see a few other emotions getting drained as well. I could see a tiny ego that I developed against my sweetheart for something she said the other day, peeping out and dropping to the floor along with the drops of blood, hitting head first.

I could see the times I spent worrying about insignificant nothings finding its destiny along with the ego earlier.

I could see the challenges in my faith getting totally wiped out along with those tiny drops of life and me getting closer to my Creator.

I could see the uncertainties in life telling me clearly that this is the moment of truth and I need to learn to live in the now than worrying about tomorrow.

I could see the faces of those in office or otherwise against whom I held grudges, smiling at me and saying that it doesn’t matter anymore.

I could also see all those times I said no to my kids and how it could’ve been better if I had spent more time with them.

Many more such moments did a parade right in front of my mind’s eye. Before I totally drained myself off these life defining moments and life giving drops, I called my wife. She swiftly came and applied the first aid procedures as required. Soon enough the bleeding stopped!

She looked at me and heard the whole story. I am yet to figure out the barrage of emotions that crossed her face.

Nevertheless she looked at me with loads of empathy and asked me to get ready to go to a nearby hospital.

She then came closer and whispered in my ear, Happy Birthday!

That’s the moment I realized how a special day almost turned into a nightmare. All the more important was the fact that life reminded me of the need to clear my emotional debts.

May this day help you think of the emotional debts you would’ve accumulated and take steps to clear them before it is too late!

God bless.

Feel the pain

A tiny pouch that contained tablets and ointments that could be used for ailments ranging from minor cuts to allergic cold. This was the medical kit I remember carrying since my school days which I reached out to every time I faced a difficulty. There was a medical solution for all the physical problems I ever had to endure. Years later, I came across a friend of mine who had a policy exactly opposite of what I had. He’ll touch a medicine only if he thinks he is going to die! He led a healthy life based on a combination of rest, natural remedies and drinking lots of water.

I was quite inspired by my friend and decided to give it a try. Needless to say it was quite a challenge not to reach out to the medical kit in order to relieve my body of a pain by popping in a tiny tablet. Pain in all forms started screaming to my brain to reach out to the medicines each time when there was a feeling. It must have been quite a struggle for my brain cells to overcome the feeling of addiction to such medicines as against the alternate ways of treatment that can still help in alleviating the agony. Though I’ve not been fully successful I am quite happy to tell you that there is a significant reduction in my medicine intake from the day when I tried to tame my brain to alternate pain relievers than depending on the tablets.

Apply this thought to our daily life. We all face pains in many forms and shapes every day. These could be in the form of issues with our partners, arguments with our parents, struggles with our kids and conflicts with our bosses to name a few. Let us ask ourselves this question. What is the practice that we follow for easing the pain? Do we take a shortcut and swallow a bitter pill of distress or do we take an alternate route of tolerance that leads us to a path relieved of pain? The choice is ours.

If we choose to reach out to the kit that has an instant solution through a shortcut we may possibly get rid of the pain, but a bitter aftertaste will remain as a part of our life. Alternately if we let ourselves feel the pain and find alternate ways of reducing it, I’m sure it’ll be an experience of a life time which will leave us with a smile.

The bigger question now is how do we get rid of the pain if not for the shortcut? There isn’t a single answer to this question. Each one of us are blessed differently in finding alternate ways of pain relieving mechanisms. This is possibly a good mental exercise that you could apply. When you are in a relatively pleasant mood, sit down and think of various scenarios mentioned above. More importantly, try to recollect how did you react to each of the situation? Try to create a list of these either in your mind or write them down.

Once you’ve the list ready, think of an alternate way by which you could’ve responded to the situation instead of reacting. As mentioned earlier, each one of us may find different solutions to the same challenge. For some, it could be getting away from the situation so that they can think with a clear head; whereas for others it could be taking a deep breath and starting all over again to see the issue in a different light. In the long run, there are many who believe in the power of exercise and yoga to help them gain better control over their mind to respond in such situations.

Whatever may be the solution you apply, each one of them reminds us of an interesting fact. It is quite important that you feel the pain so that you can think through it rather than evading it by applying a shortcut just to crop up again sometime in future to pester you. Ironic enough, a comparable thought is to a wound that is never healed which gets opened again with every scratch as against another one which you allow to heal completely that won’t bother you ever again!

It is absolutely important to train ourselves not to apply shortcuts, be it in the form of unnecessary medicines for pain or for situations we face every day in our life. May you have the courage to feel the pain and find alternate means that provide us with peace that lasts for a life time!

God bless.