Passion Vs Compulsion

I was getting a tea at the local tea shop near my office the other day. A colleague came over and told me that he was not seeing new articles from me these days and asked if my frequency of writing had come down. Since I was a bit caught up with the Quarterly Planning that time, I attributed the lack of action to my busy schedule.

Sometime later I was brooding over the same question from my colleague and started wondering if it was really the Quarterly Planning that slowed down my frequency of writing. The fact was that I just did not feel like writing. Now the reasons could be plenty. It could be attributed to the busy schedule or the ongoing incidents in Middle East or an increased focus on reading and what not. In any case, I knew that I did not feel the urge to write and hence I did not.

Days went by, but somehow the question from my colleague kept haunting me. It was never a case where I had a dearth of topics about which I wanted to write. As the pressure of inaction built up, I did sit with my laptop open the other day to write about a topic which was a part of a series I was writing. It was not an impromptu topic and hence I had done certain amount of research to come up with the content. I completed my research and started putting the words together and eventually the article took shape. As always, I did the proof reading and finally published the article.

While the mission was accomplished, I knew something was missing. At the end of every article I wrote, I felt a pure sense of bliss which motivated me to write more. That element seemed to be missing this time! To make sure, I asked one of the best reviewers of my writings, I have right at home, my son. He read the article. Though a young man of few words, every time after reading one of my writings, he had a smile on his face, which proved that he loved the article. To my utter dismay, the smile was missing this time.

I asked him, what was wrong. His response was quite candid. He said, unlike my usual presentation of a topic, this one was quite dry and could only be appreciated by people who were genuinely interested in the topic I wrote. I understood. It very well explained the lack of happiness I experienced myself, at the end of writing that last piece.

I realized that I wrote the last article, not because my passion made me write, instead was the result of a compulsion I felt due to which I let my brain and hand co-ordinate the activity all the while my heart stayed away from the party. Simply put, it was a heartless piece of work!

The story is not just about an article I wrote. Every time we set forth to do something, whether it is a hobby or something at work, if it is not driven by passion, it will end up as a monotonous activity. We may end up meeting the objective. But the bigger question we need to ask ourselves is, did the work give the same amount of happiness to us as well as the intended consumers? If not, was the effort truly worth it?

Be driven by passion and not compulsion!

അഴീക്കോടിന്റെ ആത്മകഥ

സുകുമാര്‍ അഴീക്കോട് - ഓര്‍മ്മ വച്ച കാലം മുതൽ മലയാള സാഹിത്യ സമൂഹിക ലോകത്ത് കേള്‍ക്കുന്ന ഒരു നാമധേയം. അസാമാന്യ പ്രാസംഗികന്‍, വാഗ് ദേവതയാൽ അനുഗ്രഹീതൻ, തുടങ്ങി നിരവധി വിശേഷണങ്ങള്‍ ചാര്‍ത്തിയിരുന്ന അപൂര്‍വ്വ പ്രതിഭ. എന്നാല്‍ നാളിതുവരെ അദ്ദേഹത്തിന്റെ ഒരു പ്രസംഗം കേള്‍ക്കുവാനോ, എഴുത്ത് ആസ്വദിക്കുവാനോ സാധിച്ചിരുന്നില്ല. അങ്ങനെ ഉള്ള ഒരു വ്യക്തിയെ മറ്റേതെങ്കിലും രീതിയിൽ അറിയുന്നതിന് മുമ്പ് അദ്ദേഹത്തിന്റെ തന്നെ വാക്കുകളില്‍ അറിയാനുള്ള ഒരു ആഗ്രഹം ആവും ഈ ആത്മകഥ വാങ്ങിക്കുവാൻ എന്നെ പ്രേരിപ്പിച്ചത്.

ഞാന്‍ വായിച്ചിട്ടുള്ള ആത്മകഥകളില്‍ വച്ച് ഒരേ സമയം അതിശയിപ്പിക്കുകയും അരിശപ്പെടുത്തുകയും ചെയ്ത മറ്റൊരു പുസ്തകം ഉണ്ടോ എന്ന് സംശയമാണ്. അതിശയപ്പെടാൻ ഉള്ള കാരണം മറ്റൊന്നുമല്ല. സ്കൂള്‍ പഠന കാലത്ത് നാമൊക്കെ കേള്‍ക്കുകയും പഠിക്കുകയും ചെയ്തിട്ടുള്ള മഹാരഥികൾ ആയിട്ടുള്ള പലരുടെയും സ്നേഹിതന്‍, ശിഷ്യന്‍ അല്ലെങ്കില്‍ സതീർത്ഥ്യൻ ആയിരുന്നു സുകുമാര്‍ അഴീക്കോട്, എന്ന യാഥാര്‍ത്ഥ്യം ആശ്ചര്യം ജനിപ്പിക്കുകയുണ്ടായി. മഹാകവി ഉള്ളൂര്‍, വള്ളത്തോള്‍ തുടങ്ങി, ഗാന്ധിജിയെ വരെ നേരിട്ടു കാണുവാന്‍ ഭാഗ്യം സിദ്ധിച്ച ഒരു അപൂര്‍വ്വ വ്യക്തി!

അരിശപ്പെടുത്തിയ വസ്തുതകൾ രണ്ടാണ്. ഒന്നിന്റെ ഉത്തരവാദിത്തം ഞാനും കാലവും ഒരുമിച്ച് ഏറ്റെടുക്കുന്നു. അത് മറ്റൊന്നുമല്ല, അഴീക്കോടിന്റെ പദസമ്പത്തിന്റെ ഇടവഴികളിലൂടെ നടന്നു പോകുമ്പോള്‍ പലപ്പോഴും ഞാന്‍ കാലിടറി വീണു പോയി. ചില വേളകളിൽ മുട്ട് പൊട്ടി ചോര ചിന്തുക വരെ ചെയ്തു എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞാല്‍ അതിശയോക്തി ആവില്ല. എന്റെ അറിവില്ലായ്മയുടെയും, ജീവിച്ചിരുന്നെങ്കിൽ ഈ വര്‍ഷം നൂറിന്റെ നിറവില്‍ വിരാജിക്കുമായിരുന്ന ഒരു മഹാനുഭാവനും ഞാനും തമ്മില്‍ അര നൂറ്റാണ്ടിന്റെ മേല്‍ ഉള്ള പ്രായഭേദത്തിന്റെ അവസ്ഥയുടെയും പേരില്‍ ഒന്നാമത്തെ അരിശപ്പെടൽ ഞാന്‍ സാദരം സംസ്കരിക്കുന്നു.

രണ്ടാമത്തെ വസ്തുത, അദ്ദേഹത്തിന്റെയും എന്റെയും വ്യക്തിത്വങ്ങളുടെ വ്യത്യാസം ആണെന്നു കരുതാനാണ് എനിക്ക് ഇഷ്ടം. അഴീക്കോട് തന്നെ പറ്റിയും തന്റെ എഴുത്തിനെ പറ്റിയും അനുഭവിക്കുന്ന ആത്മരതി എനിക്ക് എന്നെങ്കിലും സാധിക്കുമോ എന്ന് ഞാന്‍ സംശയിക്കുന്നു.

എന്തൊക്കെ ആയിരുന്നാലും നാം ജീവിച്ചിരിക്കുന്ന ഈ കാലഘട്ടത്തിൽ, അഴീക്കോടിന്റെ തന്നെ ഭാഷയില്‍ പറഞ്ഞാല്‍, നാം ശ്വസിക്കുന്ന ഈ വായു പങ്കു വയ്ക്കാന്‍ ലഭിച്ചത് ഒരു ഭാഗ്യമായി കരുതുന്നു. ആത്മകഥാ വായനയുടെ അന്ത്യത്തില്‍ ഇനിയും കൂടുതൽ പലതും അറിയേണ്ട ഒരു മനുഷ്യന്‍ ആണെന്ന് തന്നെയാണ് അവസാന ചിന്തയായി മനസില്‍ വന്നത് എന്നും പറഞ്ഞു കൊള്ളട്ടെ.

ഞാന്‍ ഇനിയും അറിഞ്ഞിട്ടില്ലാത്ത ഒരു മഹാ മനസ്സിന്റെ ചിന്താപഥങ്ങൾക്ക് സാദരം എന്റെ വന്ദനം.

The Cardboard Family

And just like that, yesterday I completed forty-five times of going around the sun. While I was counting the numerous blessings received through the years, a barrage of memories came back. There were hundreds of them that I have not spoken or written about. Then again, you cannot be greedy and enjoy the pleasure of sharing all at once. Allow me to focus on one memory that stood out, the one where I had a wonderful time ‘playing family’ along with my awesome cousins during a summer break of late 80s.

From the time I could recollect the memories of our home, I distinctly remember a big white Kelvinator fridge sitting at one corner of the kitchen. Every time I opened the door of the fridge, I could not help but wonder how mom managed to store all the items I saw on the shelves. I was quite certain that if we dug into the fridge, it would reveal interesting aspects of the consumption pattern of the family in the last few weeks!

After what seemed to be an eternity of service, one day the Kelvinator died on us. It was something short of a historical event in the family, when dad got a new Godrej fridge to replace the older one. As it happened to be the summer break time, a couple of my cousins were at home. We were of the age and time when anything could become props for the games we played. The game we decided that day when the new fridge arrived was 'The Family' when one became dad, another mom and there were kids as well. There will be cooking, cleaning and even helping the kids with homework.

We had enough count for the players, but the biggest question was, what could be our house? A brilliant idea occurred to us as dad kept aside the empty cardboard in which the new fridge arrived. It was big enough for us to crawl inside. We immediately got into the work of setting up the home. 

We placed the 'house' right next to the old barn we had in the backyard. One end of the cardboard box was sealed and that became the backside wall of our home. The flaps of the box at the other end were re-purposed to become the entrance of the home. We even found an old piece of cloth and gave it a new life as the curtain of the main door. A part of the box was used to create a partition inside our home, thereby making it a one bedroom house! The civil engineers of future were seriously at work, way before anyone of us had even heard of the term Engineering! 

Our home was shortly ready to welcome the guests, which were to be our parents. There was one problem though. What would we serve the guests when they arrived? Ideas started flowing in and finally we all agreed on the best course of action. It was that time of the year when mango trees in our backyard yielded bunches of green mangoes that beckoned us to make a sumptuous treat of them. We dashed to the trees and soon the stones on the floor found themselves heading to the hanging bunches of mangoes. It was soon showering mangoes, and we stopped when we felt we had enough.

Next came the question of 'cooking and serving' the dishes. Out came the tiny earthen pots, cups, and saucers which dad had bought for us to play, from local market. One of us sneaked into mom's kitchen and got a knife, a small cup of coconut oil, a handful of salt and chili powder. Soon tiny plates were ready, filled with a mouthwatering dish of cut mango pieces marinated in coconut oil, chili powder, and salt.

We proudly invited our 'guests' to our new 'home'. Obviously, they could not enter the house since it was too small for adults. Nevertheless, they all enjoyed the feast we prepared. The family game was a huge hit! 

The memory not only remains as a beautiful experience but also serves as a good reminder of the simple joys of the past and a wakeup call for the parents of the new generation of kids to help them create incredible memories for future!

Letter to Dad from Dubai

Dear Dad,

Hope all is well at your end? How are grandpa and others doing there?

It had been a couple of weeks since I wanted to ask you something. Do you remember an incident that happened 23 years back while I was doing my Masters in Coimbatore? Way before social media became a norm, there was a competition by the local Malayalam newspaper Malayala Manorama in their weekly newsletter named 'Sri'. It was a general knowledge quiz which ran for a few weeks. Every week I had to find the answers, fill in the blanks and post the page back to Manorama office. 

When the result was announced I won the second prize which was a return flight ticket for two from Kochi to any location in the Gulf states. Since I was still studying, I gifted those tickets to you and mom. You chose to visit the UAE which I remember was your first ever international trip together. It always remained a happy memory for me.

After a lovely visit to Dubai, Sharjah and a few other Emirates in the UAE, you came back to India, with lots of amazing stories about this highly prosperous State in the Gulf region. One thing I distinctly remember was, you were impressed with all the greenery and flower beds that greeted you everywhere you went, which was probably the least you expected in a country built on a desert! 

Six years before this visit to UAE, you had been on a solo trip to the US and Europe for almost a month. You were fascinated to see an equivalent level of infrastructure and lifestyle in UAE. Now, as I recollect many of the stories you narrated to me on your return from UAE, I had seen sparks of surprise and sheer delight for the success achieved by this region. You were beaming when you narrated how advanced and liberal a country UAE was, even a quarter of a century ago.

Eight years after your trip to UAE, as you may remember, Ruby and I landed in Dubai from Bangalore to work with one of the greatest known brands in the aviation world, Emirates! This was year 2011. Ever since that day, I personally lived through similar, if not more, surprises this country kept in store for us. 

Among the many things the world celebrates about the seemingly impossible feats achieved by this great land, one thing always stood out. The leadership of this young nation and how down to Earth they are in the ways by which they absolutely take care of the people who live here. They support the local population but equally care for the expats. In fact, with the last 15 years of living in this beautiful nation, I can vouch for the fact that, every passing year, the love showered by this country on the citizens and residents alike are simply out-of-the-world. 

Dad, you left us to join our Lord three years back. With the current happenings here in the Middle East, I would have expected a call from you every day if you were around, asking how we were, with the genuine concern any loving parent would have about their expat children. I want to reassure you dad, while you may be gone, we do have equally loving parents here in the UAE in the form of rulers of this land, who not just consider our safety as their responsibility but even care for us the way you cared as a father.

Dad, I want to promise you one thing. This is a land that taught us the true value of tolerance. I am certain that, as long as the leaders here remain committed, combined with your blessings from Heaven, as we say in this part of the world, Insha Allah, we will remain safe. Do not worry!

Love you lots...

Yours, Jerry, 14 Mar 2026