When Gandhi & Jinnah smiled…

We were recently invited for the 70^th Republic Day celebration by Grade One students at The Millennium School (TMS) in Al Nahda, Dubai where our son studies. I must admit that my trip to school was with the least of expectation since I was anticipating only a routine school celebration. Little did I realize that I was in for a big surprise!

The whole celebration lasted just about an hour and was an absolute example of harmony between various departments in the school. These included IT, music, dance and various class teachers along with a whole bunch of kids aged 7 or so putting up a show that was truly a memorable one! The auditorium was filled with pride of a nation celebrating 70 years of owning its own constitution. Musical notes complemented every dance move by the tiny hands and feet. A well written skit depicting scenes from the life of Mahatma Gandhi was executed with utmost perfection as a precursor to every performance.

The faculty and the students deserve a round of standing ovation for the amount of hard work they’ve put in for such a fabulous show!

It didn’t end there. The icing on the cake was yet to come. I was quite amused to see the invited Guest of Honour for an Indian school for the Republic Day celebration. It was none other than Mr Imran Waheed, the Principal of His Highness Sheikh Rashid Al Maktoum Pakistan School (SRAMPS) Dubai situated at a stone’s throw away from TMS. An eminent educationist hailing from Pakistan and joining as a Principal of the school a year ago, he delivered one of the shortest and most effective speech I’ve ever heard in my life.

He was quite candid in stating the fact about how SRAMPS was a failure when he took over as the Principal. The school looked upon TMS as a model of success and was humble enough to reach out for help. TMS to its credit, was quite a sport and agreed to hand hold SRAMPS by sharing the knowledge of the tried and tested methods of teaching. The result was magical!

A year later when reviewers from UK came down to evaluate SRAMPS, they were quite surprised to see the improvement made by the school. The surprise gave way to a state of absolute shock when they learned that it was an Indian school that helped this Pakistani school to achieve what it did! They even asked Mr Waheed how this was even a possibility since they couldn’t comprehend the fact that schools that belonged to ‘enemy nations’ were capable of such a feat.

Mr Waheed’s response to the contingent from UK will go down in the history of TMS and SRAMPS as the highlight of the 70^th year of Republic. He said, “We’re trying to overcome the burden that you folks left us with!”

Somewhere high above in heaven, both Gandhi and Jinnah heard this and smiled at each other!

The DNA Machine

“Oh my God! Shahjahan, you have changed a lot! I didn't even recognize you!” Jolly’s voice came screaming through a message in our WhatsApp group recently created after 23 years of passing out of school.

He was commenting on a photo posted by Shahjahan which showed a dad and son posing right next to Mohanlal, a famous actor in Indian cinema industry.

He continued, “I can see you in your son. He is exactly how you were back in school!”. The rambling went on for a while. He even tried to evoke the emotions that were long lost. The message probably was the lengthiest reliving the nostalgic moments from yester years.

He concluded the warm and loving welcome with an invitation to Ireland where he is currently working as a physio. Much love and affection was clearly written all over the voice note!

A few minutes of silence followed, in an otherwise super active group, vibrant with the energy of a school reunion after almost quarter of a century!

We then saw one of the group admins typing. Soon enough, a message appeared on the window, “That’s not Shahjahan”.

It was just another random forward of a father-son duo posing with the movie star along with some funny caption which was promptly mistaken by the jolly good fellow.

Jolly is now called, ‘The DNA Machine’!

Living in the dream

It was a bright and sunny morning in the summer of 1962. Ralph woke up with all the excitement in the world! It has been a while since he was part of a military training academy stationed in a peaceful neighbourhood in the city of Nowark. Armed forces were not called for any action for a long time and he was getting quite bored with the mundane life at the academy. To make things worse, being the most junior commissioned officer he was always the butt of the jokes from senior folks around.

The day promised to be different. He was finally getting introduced to the Kalshnikov, one of the most widely admired piece of weapon used by all major armies across the world! The training was scheduled for early morning. He reached well before time which gave an opportunity for the seniors to make him do a bunch of sundry duties. Hiding his displeasure he finished all what they asked him to do by keeping his mind focused on the AK-47 rifle that was placed on an elevated stand nearby. It was a long cherished dream he was going to live soon!

The moment of truth came and he finally got to touch the beauty. He had read all about the power of this beast and how he should be careful handling this mean machine. But even before he could apply his learning, he was called again by the seniors for another round of senseless exercise. This time he couldn’t help but to let out a grunt which was duly registered by Sergy, the Commander-in-charge. He spared no wrath on the poor chap. Devastated will be an understatement to refer to his state of mind by evening. Kalshnikov remained a distant dream.

He entered his bunk tired, but more so, dejected. Shortly after he let the comfortable bed receive his depleted self, he could feel himself walking the border of the kind of sleep which only comes with absolute exhaustion. All these years of hatred against the high ranking officers was taking a toll on him. Without his conscious mind even being aware, the disgust in him was turning itself into a monster. He could barely see the Kalshnikov still standing high at a distance through the window of his bunk.

He started feeling quite strange. The rifle appeared to turn itself in the direction where he was lying and started nodding its head as if beckoning him. All the images of his tormenters started doing a parade in his mind. He couldn’t hold his anger any longer. The next moment he was out of his bunk heading to the stand. Just before he got out, he saw his reflection in a mirror that was hanging on the wall. His face appeared quite different and features distinct. He was a new man!

Fraction of a second and the rifle was in his strong hands. He held on to it as if this was his last resort to regain his life. He went around the academy and unleashed his fury on all those figures marching in his mind. He kept a count. 11 in total. All that was left was just one more round of ammunition in the rifle and one last man to be addressed.

Ralph turned around and faced his worst fear! Sergy was standing right there. The moment of truth. The final opportunity to finish off what he started. He aimed at the Commander and fired expecting the body of the officer to land on his toes asking for his pardon post his death. Instead he saw Sergy reaching out for his own revolver. The muzzle of the Kalash got jammed! An unheard disaster for this legendary rifle. Even before Ralph could attempt anything a severe blow from Sergy with the revolver knocked him out and he hit the floor head first!

As soon as his head touched the floor, Ralph woke up and sat straight on his bed. For a few moments it was a state of absolute delirium before he could realize how terrible a nightmare it was. The clock struck three in the morning. He emptied the bottle of water in the room and giving himself a whack at the back of his head, went back to whatever remaining of the sleep he could catch.

Voices of chaos woke him up the next day while the sun was beginning to seep through the cracks of the bunker. He got out to see a state of commotion around the academy. His eyes caught the headlines of a newspaper lying on the floor which read “Unknown man attacks military academy: 11 dead, Commander missing”. There was even a picture of the attacker.

It looked exactly like the face he saw in the mirror in his nightmare!

God’s Nightmare!

The noise of the crowd was so deafening that it even startled him in his mother’s womb where he was getting ready for an afternoon nap. He had sensed something wrong from the day he started taking shape in her. He could feel his mom quite tensed from day one, but couldn’t figure out why. He listened to the noise, everyone in the crowd was jeering at her. His mom was made to sit in the middle of a ground where convicts were brought in for punishment. A pile of rocks awaited their chance to rewrite her destiny.

A beautiful young woman she was and from a simple family in the neighbourhood. Belonging to a society where marital norms were strictly followed, getting pregnant before being married was considered an unpardonable offense, the price of which you pay with your life. The verdict for this was known to all. Stoned to death!

He forgot about his siesta and straightened up in the womb. He wanted to reach out and kiss his mother on her forehead and pacify her. While the punishment was imminent, a sweet smile crossed his face. He was seeing a scene from future. There was another woman this time, who incidentally shared the name with his mom, awaiting a similar sentence. He saw himself stooped down and writing in the dust with his finger while a crowd demanded an answer from him. He stood up and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” The accusers hearing this, slipped away one by one until only he and the woman were left.

Today, the scene was different. No one heard him. The crowd was getting violent with every minute passing. People started to pick the stones to hurl at the woman who brought shame to the community. Another minute went by and the first stone shot through the air aimed right at the young woman’s head. He could feel her mother all shaken up and resigned to her destiny. He felt himself being cringed inside the womb, where a baby is supposed to be safe from all danger.

The stone almost hit her right at the forehead. That’s when it happened! A man with powerful arms, typical of a carpenter, blocked her from the deadly stones with a cloak that carried the image of Gabriel, the archangel. He looked up from the womb and was so happy to see the loving face of the man who was chosen to save him not just once, but twice, while he was among the mortals. He screamed with happiness, “Dad”!

He woke up from his nightmare to see the smiling face of Joseph and Mary sitting right next to his bed. He reached out and hugged his dad and mom just the way he hugged them earlier in the evening at the Church where they thought they missed him!

The Toughest Lesson

It was one of the coldest and darkest of the December mornings with the sky appearing to take revenge on mankind with a very heavy downpour. I tried to save whatever heat I could by clinging on to my dear blanket and hugging my pillow even more. I must have been in grade five or six then. I heard the old clock in my grandpa’s room striking five and shortly after that I heard the main door of our home making a creaking noise. With stories from Phantom and Mandrake the Magician running at the back of my mind, I suddenly smelled a sense of adventure!

With some effort and lots of courage I crawled out of my bed and walked into the hall which was quite dark. The mirror in the room shared a faint reflection of the leaves of papaya tree that stood in our backyard. The dim street light in a pocket road next to my home gave an eerie feeling to the whole morning. The door creaked again.

I peeped into the drawing room where the main door stood and saw the figure of a man clad in white T-shirt and a cotton wraparound with a head gear covering the ears. He had an umbrella as well in his hand. Before even I could speak a word he promptly got out and plunged into the rain giving me an illusion of almost disappearing into the darkness! That was my grandfather going out for his usual morning walk, a routine that he followed till an age when his legs could carry him!

Walking was just one of them. He had many more such regular practices in life which he followed quite strictly. Eating on time, sleeping early and catching-up on the newspapers daily were a few among them. All of these and many more were religiously followed by him that the days in my grandpa’s life can be a textbook with pages that showed up as photocopies.

Today, we are living in a world where life is changing at a pace where we aspire to do things differently every other moment. This picture perfect life led by my grandpa now appears to me more like a fantasy. While I would like to classify this as a lesson from a centenarian, perhaps this is one of the toughest one as well. Modern day lifestyle coupled with lethargy makes it quite a challenge for following something as rigorous as this routine. Nevertheless I would prefer to highlight this as one of the most inspiring lessons from my grandpa.

It indeed is a challenge to practice such a lifestyle but with the kind of news we hear around us with respect to health and wellbeing I believe it becomes all the more important to learn from such a life. Our sedentary way of life is one of the primary reasons for many of the ailments we suffer today. The only way out is to make up our mind to kick out the lethargy and find at least 30 minutes in a day, if not more, to involve in a physical activity that will make our body and mind engaged. Initiatives such as Fitness Challenge by the Crown Prince of Dubai is meant to make us aware of the need for this in our life today.

While I have not been doing justice fully to such initiatives I strongly subscribe to the thought that I should really be following some of these learnings from yester years so that it adds value to my everyday life. It is not just our health that becomes better, but the overall quality of life improves with such positive changes that are brought in.

A mere thought may not be sufficient for us to be motivated to do something as challenging as this. What helps many I learned is to set a target which can be achievable and work towards it. It could be something in lines of losing certain number of kilos or comfortably getting into that tight dress in your wardrobe or so.

May we all find that spirit to pull us out of our laziness and push us forward to a healthier and brighter life!

God bless. 

Threshold of expenses

I’ve fond memories of a well spent childhood in our ancestral home built by my grandpa seventy years back. Among the many traditions followed, one I distinctly remember is the annual practice of getting a little bit of pocket money from elders during major church festivals. It was called ‘Perunnal Podi’. While my parents and relatives were generous with the amount, the experience was quite different when it came to getting the amount from my grandpa.

I learned a lot on negotiation skills and bargaining to say the least during these times. Most often it ended up with a win-win situation since I was the only one in the family who was successful in getting whatever amounts I managed from my grandpa. Though the effort didn’t justify the result, getting two Rupees from him was hailed as one of the greatest achievements in my life. Do note that this was a considerable amount for a school going kid especially when you know the fact that these were the times when a mint flavoured candy costed just five Paisa!

Born in 1913, less than a year before World War One started and having lived a blessed life of more than a century, my grandpa has literally seen it all! He had been through both the World Wars and more importantly the great depression of 1930s. Add to this, his father’s untimely death while my grandpa was just a fifteen year old teenager left him in charge of a large family with two recently married sisters and two younger brothers. They had a thriving business with a favourable-on-books financial status where people owed them double the amount of money than the debts they had. But the economic depression broke everyone’s back and many of them couldn’t pay back the amounts owed which forced by grandpa to sell some of his properties and settle his own debts.

This entire experience taught him the value of every single Rupee and that was quite evident in all of his transactions. He literally had an iron grip on his expenses to put it in the nicest possible manner. He used to remind us to be diligent in our expenses each time we ask for money or plan to spend them. This was supplemented with his lifestyle where he hardly created any arena for spending money unnecessarily. He took bare minimum risks when it came to investments and had a strong preference to lead a debt-free life which obviously made him quite comfortable when he hit the bed every night.

Planning the threshold or limits of your expenses is quite a personal decision for each one of us. We could either choose to spend a lot and still be within our budget or could spend a little and save the rest for future investments. Nevertheless there are certain factors to be considered while taking decisions on investments especially the ones that require you to spend from your future income. When you plan the payment for an investment as EMIs you need to ensure that you clearly have an understanding of your income so that the EMIs along with your other expenses don’t leave you high and dry.

If we take a quick stock of the categories of our expenses for a month, some of us could be in for a shock. We might be spending a lot more than we should on certain types of expenses. Be it our shopping or eating out expenses or any other category, we ourselves are the best judges to answer this simple question, ‘Should we be spending so much on this category’?

When you effectively supplement the answer to this question with a planned amount to be spend for that category every month, you’ve already taken your first steps for better planning of your hard earned money. What could be a pleasant surprise is the fact that introducing these checks alone will be enough for you to meet all of your planned expenses and even leave you with an amount as savings.

Once you have optimized your spending limits by applying this check for all your categories of expenses all you need to ensure is that this pattern is followed in your life. Then comes the next logical step. What can be done to increase your income? While for some people both these acts can go in parallel, for others it might be worthwhile to put the checks on the expense first before exploring the options to increase the income. We’ll possibly talk about this some other time.

May you be empowered with the first step to get the threshold of your expenses right and lead a more fruitful and fulfilling life!

God bless.

Accept… Not Expect!

After a few days of getting married, my wife and I travelled to Bangalore where I was working. She had decided to join me in the Garden City and we started setting up our house. After the initial days of settling down, she started experimenting with her culinary skills. As ‘customary’, my mom had told her about all my interests and being a loving wife she tried to cook some of those dishes which I like. Many of them were quite tasty but living the life of a proverbial husband, I immediately applied a benchmark of my mom’s cooking.

Words of expectation floated around. She tried to change some of the cooking styles to meet the expectation, but soon enough I realized a major fact. My mom cooked in ‘her own’ style which she developed that our family loved. The same logic should really apply in my wife’s case as well. She has a style of cooking which should be supported by giving her a freehand. This alone will help us as a family than having to perform under pressure of expectations. As soon as she was made comfortable with this acceptance, our kitchen exploded with never-before experienced flavours! I now have a new benchmark for taste.

I mentioned the above instance just to highlight the importance of acceptance than having expectations which many a times become unjustified. This is not just true in case of a couple, but equally important for the extended family members as well. I’m not quite sure how much have the male of our species experienced this pressure tactics in our society which still heavily leans towards its patriarchal nature. At the risk of being biased, let me highlight the case of girls this time.

From the day a proposal comes to a family, followed by seeing the picture of the girl, this expectation game starts. The family starts discussions about how the girl is, how she should be etc. Once the wedding gets fixed, these discussions become even more intense. More such conversations take place among the relatives as the wedding date approaches. Expectations hit the roof as soon as the bride sets her foot in the house. Everyone has something or other to say, irrespective of any trace of logic present in their statements. Most often the groom is oblivious to these conversations and the bride is left at the mercy of a bunch of strangers who will be showering her with an avalanche of these expectations. The ordeal has just begun!

Life goes on and just like how performance reviews happen in the corporate world, the new bride gets reviewed time to time based on the expectations that were set up for her. The relatives seem to have quite an uncanny ability to judge the new bride on every possible occasion. The discussions go from her choice of dress to the style of ornaments and many more such topics which suddenly seem to take an elevated level of importance. What could be surprising in some families is the fact that this performance review does not stop even after many other ‘new brides’ join the family. The show goes on.

One of the possible psychology behind this behaviour is that historically the family would’ve built an expectation about how the girl for a guy should be. By virtue of seeing the boy grow up from childhood they want their would-be daughter-in-law of the family to have certain traits to match the guy. What they do not realise is the fact that the girl who is coming into the family comes with a definite personality which she developed in most cases over a period of three decades or less.

While some families realise the importance, what many still don’t practice is the art of ‘accepting’ instead of ‘expecting’. You should be able to accept the new member of the family with all her positives and negatives. The more you try to mould, at times even break, her personality to induct her into your boundary of expectation, you’re potentially pushing her to a point of no return where she either snaps or develops an attitude of indifference!

May the good God bless you with the providence of acceptance than setting expectations! Let the family be blessed with the young new mind who comes in with hopes and prayers. May you all experience the bliss of a soul that can rejoice in your acceptance than having to constantly live under your X-ray eyes of expectation! God bless!