My Feminine Instincts

While recently filling an application form we came across an all familiar section for title. The options included Mr, Mrs & Ms. All the male folks out there, you are united by these forms regardless of the fact that you said 'I do'. The fairer sexes, you are yet to be recognized independently. You need the support of either your parents or husband, so the form says!

We say, as a country, we've become independent more than half a century back. The world has seen the empowerment of women in many ways than one. We've had Presidents, Business Heads and the Power Houses for multiple strata of society from the female species. Do we still need a differentiation between married and unmarried women?

The world speaks so much about men and women, the fairness of gender wherein one is no more superior to the other. One more generation passes and it shall be a non-existent scene, where parents worry about marrying off their daughters. Young women are breaking free themselves from the clutches of the societal norms that sketch their destiny for future. Those days will soon appear in the pages of History books when a girl stood in silence while her parents decided the groom for her.

The modern day women must realize that this separation of their gender based on the marital status is nothing but the age old British political strategy of Divide & Rule. Why do you need a separation when a man can be 'Mr' irrespective of the status? What makes the men privileged to have the unique identification? This is a true case of planned attempt to create an identity crisis among the gender that once used to be the bear-all category of society!

The bigger question will be why do women need a separate qualifier to address the presence or absence of the other half in their life? What difference does it make if a girl is married or otherwise? The taboo associated with an unmarried woman is again an evolved evil from the yester years of the present society. Why should you let that create a division?!

Many religions speak about God creating the human race with man and woman being equal. Of course, God as an entity being considered male, is a totally different debate altogether. The thought here is if we were created equally, at what course of history did that become less equal?

Equality should not remain only as a topic of discussion. It needs to be a way of life, among the thoughts shared, the challenges faced and the decisions taken. The moment you learn to respect your co-species and accept that they are as much a part of the environment, you inherited from the previous generation which makes you equally superior as the rest; the distinction will cease to exist.

Who does not love a peaceful world?!!

The Red Firewall

We were a bunch of half baked Management Grads back in 2005. It was time for our internship program and along with a friend of mine I kicked off a Market Research activity for an IT Firm. Our targets were CIOs [Chief Information Officer] of IT organizations. Figuring out the usage and scope for Network Security Products like Firewalls was to be our assignment.

And there we were, charting the longitude and latitude of the City of Bangalore, on a brand new bike knocking at the doors of every possible IT companies we could figure out. We'd to cover a minimum of ten firms a day. Our initial thought was ten is such a small number, but the facts of cold calls soon hit us real hard. Forget about meeting ten CIOs, getting an appointment a day became an event to celebrate! Many a times, we'd to split the areas between us to meet the target.

Destiny had it that two months of our lives were to continue in this fashion. It so happened that we were one short of our target on a promising Friday evening. All what we had to do was to finish off the last one and head back home. We were at one of the commercial hubs of South Bangalore and were sure to find an IT firm to fill our last slot.

Soon we found ourselves standing in front of a state-of-the-art building which had a pretty interesting name. Since we were in that part of the world where IT companies were giving competition to the population growth of the country itself, we were confident about our find. Walked we did, right through the front door and met an equally confident front desk assistant who welcomed us with a warm smile.

The usual drill was to ask for the CIO and push our chances for a short instant meeting. The receptionists usually oblige or politely deny. But this one proved to be a different animal altogether. She answered in negative to our query on CIO, but said they did have a Firewall. We found that interesting, though not surprising since there were many small IT firms without CIOs but one person handling multiple roles.

Our following question was about meeting the person who is in charge of the Firewall. Her answer baffled us. She said, "Sir, we don't have anyone like that. I manage it myself. In fact we got it only last week and installed". We were not sure if we should be confused or mighty impressed. Here's a receptionist who also doubles up as the Network Administrator! What a revelation?! All that and more were completely proved otherwise with her next statement. That totally pulled the rug from under our feet!

Her eyes twinkled and smile broadened when she said, "The best part is, it is Red in color and I love Red"!

We looked at each other and needless to say, were speechless. For a moment we even thought, perhaps there could be a brand new type of Firewall named in the likes of 'Bluetooth'! Sensing our confusion she asked us to follow her. Took us through a door besides the Front Office desk and blissfully pointed her finger at a direction and repeated those words, "That is our Red Firewall".

There it was, perched on a wall, laughing out loud, a Red colored Fire Extinguisher!!!

The Middle Line

Till the time you start living together under the same roof, you won't know each other that well – A profound statement, isn't it?!

Of course believing is one and experiencing is another.

An interesting irony about being married is that, while the common interests become a pat-on-the-back, the differences may quite well be a slap on the face! Yes, we were no different a couple in matters that could call for a routine change in the way of life.

Ruby loved coffee and I was a hardcore tea guy. I'd tried my luck before wedding itself, with a pseudo-chauvinist act and told her that our home will have no coffee brewing. She being the smarter one, didn't of course commit anything and patiently waited for the day I reduced to my half and she filled the other.

Man! Was I not happy, the first few days, when the aroma of tea filled every corners of our sweet little home? Little did I know that she has a Masters in Ego Massage! It is truly commendable, the way with which the woman of the house brings in some changes in your life and you won't even know it.

Soon the aroma-adorned corners started dwindling. The fragrance of Coorg became a frequent visitor during our mornings. Fortunately evenings were blessed with flavors of Darjeeling*. This of course proved to be an interim peacemaker deal. It didn't take much time for us to realize, these places can't co-exist.


We perhaps required a Middle Line of Control. Thoughts and ideas came and went. The union of geographies seemed a distant reality. Many crusades were launched for Coorg; Darjeeling was never behind in that historical battle. Sparks lit up the skies, Guns were fired and finally the War of Taste Buds came to an end.

We now share a common love for Bournvita :)

* Coorg is known for Coffee & Darjeeling for Tea.

The Art of Love Making

I remember reading a while ago that kitchen is one of the best places for trying out your experiments on love making, of course it comes with its own set of risks. Today, with all its genuineness I can testify that, with a stupendously successful attempt at it!

So here we are, one lovely Saturday after a really relaxed brunch. She was enjoying her siesta and me checking my long list of unopened emails since we got our net connection finally after a month of moving into the new house. I was diving deep into the endless list and almost got lost in that maze of binary digits making up alphabets, pictures, videos and of course a whole lot of junk too!

Pretty soon it was four in the evening and I could hear the soft voice of my sweetheart making its way through the bed room door. It never lost its way; a minute later I was standing besides the bed looking at my girl, comfortably covered in our crimson bed sheet, with half her eyes open, with a look that betrayed how much she needs it! Her eyes were getting intense with every passing moment and the sharp gaze illuminated her face with question marks written all over. I could hear them scream, when am I gonna make the move?

Being the proverbial devoted better half, make did I, all the right moves and presented her a completely unique experience. She was in total ecstasy! Her face was glowing and I could scoop out the happiness with a random swipe of my bare hand. I was duly rewarded with one of the most admiring glances I'd ever received. She was absolutely pleased and was in fact searching for a word to compliment the moment of joy.

All I did was living up to the age old saying, "Variety is the spice of life" and that's the reason why I added three spoons of milk while making the egg bhurji which I presented to her along with a bowl of noodles.

Cooking indeed is an art of love making! :)

The Sandwich Surprise!

I've been keeping my back pain issue on the back burner for a while. I guess it had to wait till the time I got married since my darling wife was instrumental in finally getting me to the affirmative mode to meet the doc. We had to spend some time at the hospital campus and in between had some light snacks before we headed back home.

We reached home by afternoon and were not exactly hungry since the snacks had played a cameo to satiate the need for the hour. So we settled for the next best thing available; watch a movie with a bottle of Cranberry Breezer that was still there in our refrigerator. We shared the drink and soon my sweetheart started getting a strange feeling as the red color liquid traversed through her food pipe. It produced so much of a biological impact that soon she was screaming about the burning sensation. Being the more experienced among the two of us about the world of alcohol, I realized it is nothing but the effect of a not-so-full tummy having a tete-a-tete with the Breezer. 

A powerful alarm went off and the romantic bugger inside me was pretty shaken up! An opportunity which I believe occurs only to newly married couples! Ten minutes is all what I asked my beloved, rushed to the fridge and to my pleasure discovered a portion of beef roast in there. The pan was heated up in no time; drops of oil kissed the vessel, onions chopped in a jiffy and the dish was spiced up by squeezing half a lemon which added a peculiar tangy flavor to the dish! Three slices of bread seemed ready to receive the limited edition delicacy which was garnished with tasty tomato ketchup.

The twins of those slices covered the top and then it was time for the magical touch of all! Three lovely smileys from the family of ketchup became the face of the creation. Lo and behold! The most beautiful sandwich in the entire world was right in front of the eyes of my dear one!

She was watching me all the while from our couch and it took a solid couple of seconds for her to realize what the whole drama was about. The sandwiches smiled at her and I was greeted with the loveliest of the expressions I'd ever seen!

This is what made my girl happy:

World of Negatives

Have you ever come across people who can speak only negative about everything? I have and as a matter of fact I'm positively blessed to be with a few of these beings whom I meet every day in my life! I call that a blessing since these are the people who make me realize how simple my life is. Thank God for that.

Cribbing, Complaining, Crying... These are a few terms that could represent this very specific state of mind. Initially when I got to hear these cribs I was genuinely concerned about the well being of these discontented souls. As time proved, this wasn't exactly the outcome of an unhappy mind. It turned out to be an addiction that led to constant and repetitive sessions that in one way of other, I presume, gives a level of satisfaction which anything else could hardly provide.

Empathy gave way to sympathy. My attempts to sympathize with these lesser mortals took various shapes. Advices, sarcasm, anger and what not! The futility of my heart-felt attempts led to sheer pity for these people. Probably what they realize not is the fact that, more you are negative about something the least possible will that look. The reality of negative energy is such that it spreads like an epidemic across the omnipresent neurons. This leads to a situation where every other possible experience of a human mind gets corrupted with these cancerous thoughts!

The worst of all scenarios is when these dear little Children of God not realizing that they are treading a path which after a while will take them to the point of no return. They won't even realize the quick sand of emotional negativity into which they get sucked in. The power of negative thoughts is indeed one of the strongest. It is so easy to be caught in this without even the slightest of the effort. The once innocent psyche gets engulfed into the claws of this fieriest of the beasts world has always faced!

I honestly appeal to all those who realize or otherwise to sit and think. Are you stepping towards the destiny you create for yourself? Learn to live a life where you find the little joys and positive self. Nurture your happiness. It is just like any other living organism. You take care; it'll grow, flower and bear fruits. You feed it with toxic thoughts, die it will, a real painful death. And mind you, it'll take you along with it!!!

Be Positive!

How's Married Life?!!

Act 1 Scene 1 – Marriageable Age

You really could feel it when you truly want to have someone to tag along to make your life more meaningful, so they say. If you don't, in the truly Indian way your relatives have a distinct, almost patentable technique of making you feel so! It is remarkable, I must say, the manner with which even a completely disinterested person is made to say, "Yes, marriage is the most important thing I wanted to get into".

End of Act 1 Scene 1

Act 1 Scene 2 – My Decision

Fortunately, my decision to get married was not so dramatized, at least not with the involvement of family so much. But I must admit that the mission to get married definitely was, with them having a major say. Arranged marriage in my case was a concept where I subjected my decisions to objective analysis by my dear ones including parents, siblings and friends.
End of Act 1 Scene 2

Act 2 Scene 1 – Their Response

People who knew me were obviously happy about my decision. I believe my levels of enthusiasm was way up North that some of them even took an unprecedented step of trying to bring back to ground realities of marriage. Knew I did, but the wait was too long for me to accept those facts just like that. I loved all the attention and even secretly admired the fact that I could tell them that I don't have time since I'm busy chatting with my girl!
End of Act 2 Scene 1

Act 2 Scene 2 – Pre-marriage days

I sat and thoughts started flowing in. Here are a few of those educated snippets…

I really have not come across anyone in my life who has not given a thought about getting married. It is there in our blood as a need or want and the laws of Economics make all possible sense when thinking about it. Yes, I was no exception. I really wanted to and in fact was desperate to get married. I longed for a companion and did all possible things within the purview of the 'arranged marriage'. The search was on for a long time and finally I found a girl. I was all excited, naturally!

End of Act 2 Scene 2

Pseudo Act

The days got closer and we got married after two months and sixteen days from our first meeting.

End of Pseudo Act

Act 3 Scene 1 - Post-marriage

"How's married life?!" I could think of only two reasons, why this remained the only question that came our way post the D-Day. Either the world around us is so eager to hear an answer which they expect or they forgot that there are other words in Webster's that could be coined to make questions! You've only one choice of giving a socially accepted answer. You say anything other than, "fantastic" or "good" being the least, you are doomed! You cannot be realistic and have to accept the world of Utopia around you.

I felt it was pretty funny. Being married does not guarantee all these adjectives to be part of your life as a direct output of the act. The absolute irony about the whole show is the fact that, people who ask you the last-standing-question in the world and expecting the age old answer also knew this.

End of Act 3 Scene 1

Act 3 Scene 2 – My Response
 

"It’s a Roller Coaster Ride"! People who have experienced it get the point. Others who perceive that to be a mean machine will do a Jim Carrey act of eyes bulging and all. Then starts the most bizarre act in the world of being concerned about the budding relationship and major gyan sessions will follow. They'll start giving you tonnes of advices on what can be done to make life more meaningful, again!

It takes me two types of an effort to pacify these people. First, to explain what exactly is a Roller Coaster. Second to reiterate the fact that it is in fact the thrill that is the whole point! A few get convinced, rest will remain prejudiced. God bless them!

End of Act 3 Scene 2

Tail End

Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players". Somehow he missed the part where a few among the audience climbing on top of the stage and trying their best to make you do some part which they missed on their own stage!

Life's a Roller Coaster, dare not miss the thrill!

The Drama Continues…