‘Be Strong’. Probably the phrase I’ve heard countless number of times since 16 February 2023, almost a month back. That’s the date when I started experiencing the strangest ever feeling in my life of four decades.
Imagine this. Ever since you were born, the starting and ending of your day has always been with the biggest and brightest source of energy known to the human race, the Sun. What happens one day, just like that, the Sun stops shining. Needless to say you’ll be slapped with darkness and gloom. Your days no longer start with the perennial hope of light. You will never be able to wish anyone a bright and beautiful day anymore.
This and many more impossible to explain emotions were having a joyful ride of their life through my mind since that day. I lost the greatest source of power in my life from the time I was born, the one that gave me hope, cared for me unconditionally, moulded me with love and taught me what life is in its entirety.
My Dad!
He was indeed a superhero for me and unsurprisingly for many others as well. People who I met and others who reached out only had good memories and great stories to share about dad. He was literally an influencer in their lives, way before social media ever existed and the word influencer meant even more than the digital motivation that we rely upon these days.
Since he knew quite a lot of people it was decided that we should have the funeral on a weekend, four days after his passing, so that they get a chance to meet him for one last time. It indeed was a good decision as the endless flow of people the day before and the funeral day was the evidence of how much was he loved.
What was particularly difficult for me was to meet a bunch of them who have been not just influenced by dad but have been a great influence in his life, about whom he has spoken to me many times. They all reminded me of the happy times dad had with them and those moments literally relived in front of my eyes each time they came over and held my hand.
Sometimes a look into their eyes, a word uttered, a gentle pressing of my hand or a hug, they all triggered a seemingly never-ending churn of reservoir of tears deep down somewhere in me.
I cried, through all those days and more.
Every instance I could recollect the precious moments of love and care he kept aside for me, welled up my eyes. I heard people saying time and again to be strong. They wanted me to remain a support for the sake of my family including mom. Some of them said do not cry and be strong.
But those were not tears of weakness. In fact every drop that found its way out through my eyes made me stronger. For me, tears are the most natural outlet for a human being especially when you are overwhelmed with emotions. Let it flow. It will only make you stronger and prepare you to move ahead.
Amidst the avalanche of tears, along with my God sent cousins, I got through all the set of activities required right from the hospital bed to the funeral day and beyond. If I am to make a list of things done, it’ll need another whole day. I truly believe it was those tears though they blurred my vision momentarily, gave me much needed clarity and power just like a windshield that is wiped clean each time after you spray water and the wiper of your car does a perfect job.
Let me end with the tribute I penned down for Dad on his 7th Day, ‘Daddy, you taught us everything except the last chapter in your book of life. We opened the final chapter today and it said, ‘The Beginning’. You left us a note, ‘for self-study’. We now begin our learning with your eternal guidance. Live in our hearts and be with us forever… To the best dad world can ever offer!’
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