The Christmas Gift

The school bus stopped right in front of the mansion partially engulfed in mist on that chilly December evening. As she got down, Jessy pulled the cardigan closer to her chest to protect herself from the cold wind. She waved goodbye to her friends and was welcomed back home by the glittering lights that were adding to the celebration scene getting ready for a double delight. Jessy and Jesus shared birthdays! The sentry opened the gate for her and the familiar sight of her beautiful home unravelled in front of her, this time even more beautiful with the lovely lights sparkling all around.

Three luxury cars adorned the main porch, adding to the pomp and glory of the mansion. But to Jessy, there was one eyesore, a car that was parked a bit aside in a dedicated porch. It was an Ambassador painted in yellow and black, the one that was typical of taxis in India in 90’s. This was the only thing about which she fought with her brother John. Even on her last birthday, when she turned fourteen, she asked him as a wish to get rid of the strange car. Her brother as always, with lots of love, promptly turned down this request.

The Ambassador reminded John of his humble beginnings and he wanted to retain it as a sacred memory. There wasn’t anyone else to whom Jessy could complain since from the time she could remember, her brother was the only relative she ever had. There was an old black and white picture of their parents that was prominently placed on the majestic wall of the living room.

Jessy vaguely recollect her past when they did not have all these luxury in their life. It was her brother’s dedication alone that made him the successful business man the town knows today. She still can’t believe that he used to be behind the wheels of the same Ambassador which she hated from the bottom of her heart. If there was one thing her friends ridiculed her for, it was the strange presence of that car right in front of their grand residence.

There was another weird practice in that house associated to this car. During Christmas and her birthday, the house got decorated with lights of all colours except for the porch where the Ambassador stood. The porch will always be decorated with lights shining in bright red colour. There were strict instructions from John to the staff not to use any other colour for this porch. The car and the porch appeared to Jessy as nothing short of a bad omen bathed in red. Jessy had asked him why and this is one mystery for which she never got a convincing answer.

She had made a decision this year. Christmas this time was not going to be the same. She was not going to turn fifteen without changing the bad omen at least as the first step. She’ll bring more happiness by decorating the age old car and porch with bright and beautiful colours than the depressing red. Next step will be to get rid of the car altogether. She had to plan well for this since it was pretty evident that she was treading dangerous waters on this with her brother!

She invited a few of her friends over. Together they plotted a secret plan. ‘Mission Red Devil’ was launched! First they’ll ensure that the red lights got replaced and then they’ll find a way to get rid of the car altogether. For the first objective, they managed to get hold of one of the staff members in the house and convinced him to get them a bunch of multi-coloured lights.

While they were at it, a familiar face of an old man appeared at the gate. Jessy identified him as the second mystery associated with the Ambassador. This man promptly came during Christmas time every year. John took great efforts to receive him and treat him well. They both will be seen talking for a long time and most of the conversations happened right next to the car. He was introduced once to Jessy as an old friend of John who helped in the days when John was driving the taxi. Nothing more was said about him.

Soon John went out with the old man. While they were away, Jessy and friends acted quickly. Within an hour, they applied garlands of light on the porch with every other colour than red. As they plugged in the light, the gate opened. John was received with the shocking view of a brightly lit car porch where the good old Ambassador was covered in a multi-coloured robe. His expression was priceless! All the red that were missing at the porch found its way to his face. He was furious and the girls had never seen him like that. He didn’t say a word except for asking the staff to put the red lights back on.

Jessy dropped her friends back shortly. She returned home, but to a different one than the one she left. It was a dead house. Even the lights that shined did not seem to bring the life that once filled the space. John was sitting right below the picture frame of their parents and looked devastated. Jessy was quite surprised. Was it all because of the lights? Why was it so important that the change brought such a drastic transformation to their home? She demanded an answer from her brother which was greeted with a terminal silence and that silence killed her.

This was it! She had been patient for the last fifteen years. Each time the question was raised about the car and the strange ways about it at their home, John was quite evasive. She sat down next to him and looked right into his eyes and said, “I really need you to tell me brother, what is the secret with this car and why is a mere change of decoration lights bothering you so much? I’m not a baby anymore for you to hold back the truth. You act like a total stranger each time I come up with this question. You are so weird when it comes to this topic and guess what I feel? I don’t belong here!”

As soon as she finished those last words, John burst into tears with a loud cry! A bunch of emotions that were buried deep down in his mind for the last decade and a half finally found its way out. His memories took him back to a Christmas Eve fifteen years ago. It was quite late in the evening. He was driving the taxi and was about to drop home a young couple expecting their first baby soon. This was his seventh trip for the day and possibly the last one since he was really tired with all the traffic of the season. He badly wanted to get back home and have a peaceful evening all by himself celebrating Christmas. The couple who owned the taxi which he drove had told him to take a day off on Christmas and nothing could get better than that.

As he was taking the final turn to the young couple’s home a flash of a bright light hit the car. He could hardly make out the shape of a truck and took a sharp turn to the left. The truck hit the side where the lady was seated. The impact was huge that he remember the car spinning for a few times before it came to a halt. The young man, soon to be a father, died on the spot. While John though had broken a bone or two, couldn’t help but hear the heart wrenching cry from the fully pregnant lady. The pain was unbearable, yet he managed to crawl out of the car. A passing car stopped by and the man who now visited them every Christmas helped John to take the lady to a nearby hospital. She was unconscious by the time they reached the Emergency section. He was soon taken inside as well and while they prepared him for a surgery, he vaguely remember hearing the doctors speak that the lady won’t make it.

A few days later as he was ready to leave the hospital, the nurses helped him onto the taxi that was waiting to take him home. But just before that, he was directed by a nurse to the neo natal ward. The place was all decorated for Christmas with bright red lights everywhere. The nurse took him to a tiny girl among the other babies there. They called her Jessy, the one that was miraculously saved from a dying mother a few minutes after the clock struck twelve on the Christmas day that year! He looked into her tiny eyes and saw the reflection of the shining red lights in them. They were shining like the Star of Bethlehem. Jessy, his sister, was born in his mind.

He took her to the couple who owned his taxi. For them, John and Jessy became the kids they never had. John inherited the taxi from them and moved to this town later, along with her. He also brought a priceless item along with him. An old black and white picture of the couple which was duly placed on the living room wall.

John finished the narration and looked at his sister. She got up and walked towards the window from where she could see the car that was parked in the porch. He reached out to her and they looked at each other. They could see the reflection of the bright red lights in their eyes. For Jessy, those were the most precious rubies she had ever seen in her life!

The Purple Carrot

Mia, my four year old, called it a day and closed her colouring book. She was quite fond of the book and experienced the bliss of giving life to the black and white images by doing her magic with the bunch of colour pencils she has. The book she was colouring, had a lot of images with jungle theme including a few rabbits and carrots.

Keeping aside the book, she jumped on to the bed and snuggled under the blanket and hugged me tightly. Then came the default demand for a bed time story. Since she was colouring a few rabbits and carrots earlier, I decided to tell her a story of a rabbit searching for carrots through a jungle. Even before the story got over she slipped into a sweet dream where she found herself following a cute little rabbit in a jungle that was known for its bright orange carrots!

Eddie, just like any other rabbit loved carrots. He was out on a stroll searching for the sweetest of the carrots the jungle could offer. He searched and searched the various locations where he could possibly find carrots. Finally Eddie came across a large area where he saw countless carrot plants. He jumped up and down with joy!

Mia followed Eddie as he dashed across the garden of carrots. As soon as he found a plant that seems to carry ripe carrots he dug up the earth and promptly pulled out the carrot bunch from the soil. He gave out another cry! But this time it wasn’t a cry of joy. He cried in surprise to see a bunch of carrots which was purple in colour!

Mia saw the colour of carrots and was totally taken aback. She was equally confused as Eddie about the purple colour carrots. Carrots ought to be orange in colour and why are these purple?! That’s when it dawned on her. 

A while ago, before she closed her colouring book, the last picture she was colouring was a bunch of carrots. She looked for the bright orange colour pencil. Since she couldn’t find it, she made an announcement, “Dad, I can’t find my orange pencil and so I am going to colour the carrots purple!” I remember asking her to find the orange colour pencil since carrots cannot be purple. She didn’t bother to find the orange colour pencil, instead coloured the carrots purple as she said.

“Goodness! What did I do?” thought Mia. “I turned all the carrots in the world purple!” She had a very disturbed sleep and woke up the next day with a heavy heart. I had never seen her with so less energy levels in the morning. I asked her what was wrong. She said nothing except that she badly needs an orange colour pencil. She pestered me so much that I had to find the orange colour pencil for her and only then she let me head to my office.

As I was starting from home, she gave me a hurried kiss and saw her heading to the colouring book. Since I was getting late I didn’t ask any further.

It was evening soon and I returned home. I had a grocery bag in my hand. I placed the bag on the kitchen table and started taking out the groceries. As soon as I placed the carrots on the table I heard a gasp followed by a cry of joy behind me!

Mia was standing right behind with a beaming smile holding her colouring book and looking at the carrots on the table. She held the page open where I saw a bunch of bright orange coloured carrots!

Get Lost… Never!

My wife and I with our two kids have been living in Dubai for close to a decade. Though I’ve been driving in Dubai all the while, when we first planned an international trip to Mauritius, we decided to play it safe and hired a taxi instead of renting a car. But our next trip was a much bigger one to Europe across four countries. This time we said we need to experience driving in Europe and hence started looking at options to rent a car.

The price range for car rental is directly proportional to the type of the car you choose and the various features that you want in the car. Lesser the add-ons, better it is for your budget. One of the most obvious features you need while driving in a new geography is the help of a map. With technology so advanced and super capable mobile phones, we were quite confident that we’ll use Google Maps on our mobile phones to navigate anywhere around Europe. Hence we ruled out the need to get a car with GPS which would’ve added to the cost anyways.

Shortly after this, we landed in Stuttgart in Germany, from where we’d planned to hire the car. Fortunately we got a free upgrade to a Ford C-Max from a VW Golf we booked initially. It took a while for us to locate the car in the multi-storey parking facility nearby. As soon as we found the car and got in, we realized that the upgrade came with a GPS connectivity as well. But since our trust on technology and mobile phones was far better than this ‘old world navigation system’ we didn’t even bother to turn on the GPS.

Sure enough, Google Map on our mobile started directing us out of the parking lot of the building and showed the duration as an hour and forty minutes to Black Forest. I was quite thrilled to drive in Europe for the first time and soon reached the first set of traffic lights.

That’s when it happened. Google Maps went dead! The last thing we expected to happen in Europe was losing the network on the phones. We were lost!

We’re left in absolute darkness about which way to proceed. The traffic lights soon turned green and since I had to move the car, I took a left turn and followed the traffic till we reached the next traffic lights. That’s when it dawned on to us. There is a silent saviour in our car. The one who we discarded as ‘old world’. We switched on the good old GPS and that was our moment of redemption.

From that instant onwards, if there was one thing we never let go during the entire trip was our trust on GPS. With this good old saviour, rest assured that you’ll never get lost!

Always ensure that you get a car with a GPS and enjoy absolute peace of mind!  

Forsaken!

The train rolled on to the darker side of platform number 13 at Bangalore City Junction. The ominous number made Alex a bit uneasy, yet he got up from his seat even before the engine reached a full halt. Travelling by train along with Nisha and two of their little ones was his last preference. But this was a trip that was forced upon them since no other modes of transport were available at such a short notice. Luca who turned six last month and Leya his little sister who will soon celebrate her third birthday were still sleeping on the middle berth.

Alex started pulling out the luggage and told Nisha to take care of the kids while he unloaded the bags to the busy platform. He had to struggle a bit to get the luggage out and still keep a check on all the pieces from the prying eyes of possible luggage snatchers. Nisha somehow managed to wake up Luca and gave a helping hand to Alex to offload the last piece of luggage, it was the biggest of the lot. He placed all the pieces safely on the platform and helped Nisha get down by taking Luca in his hand. That’s when they realized, Leya is not with either of them!

“Daddy!” A spine chilling cry came from the compartment where they were! Alex felt his heart in his mouth as he dashed back into the compartment where Leya was left sleeping. In a flash of a second he reached the middle berth where a few minutes back the little one was seen cuddling her favourite teddy and covered in a baby pink blanket, for she loved to be wrapped even when it wasn’t cold.

The blanket and teddy were still there. Only them! Alex for a moment felt completely drained off his blood. But he gathered himself quickly and looked around. All of a sudden he got a glimpse of a man, face covered with a chequered woollen shawl carrying something on his shoulder trying to head to the other end of the cabin.

Alex saw what was on the man's shoulder. It moved and a tiny hand reached out to him. The very hand that he had held numerous times in the past and lifted all the way up to his shoulder. His precious little gem, daddy’s adorable little princess was struggling for dear life in the arms of a stranger, trying with all her might to reach out to her hero, her dad.

He sprinted at the stranger who was seen stepping down at the end of the compartment. Alex barely reached the exit when he heard the shrilling sound of a whistle and felt a jolt. The train took off with him trapped inside.

Alex looked through the window. The little hand was still seen at a distance stretched out with the hope of her dad coming and rescuing her. As the train chugged ahead, Alex stood there not able to move but merely stare at a warning sign board posted inside the compartment. It read, “The railways will not be responsible for any valuables left unattended".

Can you cry in the office?

I recently attended a farewell party of a colleague. To say it was quite an emotional event will be an understatement. Words of gratitude flowed, but what flowed even more were tears. A few women whom I’ve appreciated for their boldness and super strong personalities were crying like babies during the farewell. I could see empathy on a few faces that stood around whereas very few even scorned at them. Hugs and kisses were galore as tissue boxes were replaced one after the other. Emotions were doing a crazy roller coaster ride during the day.

A few people took efforts to pacify those who couldn’t stop their tears. But there were a couple of them who even went to the extent of asking those who cry to hold their tears and be brave. A bunch of questions came to my mind. Is it ok to cry in office? Are tears a sign of weakness? Do you really need to be stone faced when exposed to a barrage of emotions? If you are close to your colleague, is it ok to shed a few tears when he or she says goodbye to you as they move on in their career?

The answer is quite simple. Look at ourselves. Office or otherwise we are human beings made of flesh and blood. We have an extremely complicated mind that is subject to a wide variety of emotions, day in and day out. As part of a corporate culture, many a times we define a boundary for expressing our emotions while in office or among the colleagues. This leads to a situation for most of us where we contain our emotions deep down in our mind and do not let it go.

Blessed are those who could open up and expose themselves in front of their colleagues irrespective of the dictated norms of the corporate life. Tears in this case, I’ll say, are an absolute sign of strength, since you’ve been strong enough not to care about the eyes that scan you for your social behaviour in an office.

For those who choose not to cry, it isn’t a bad thing either. It could be your personality that do not let you go off your emotions when they truly start to build up in you. Where it goes wrong is when you are indeed overwhelmed with emotions and yet you build a dam in your mind to stop those tears from falling with a pseudo belief in the social norms.

Blessed are those who could let go off the rules that tie you down with social taboos and instead hug a colleague who is bidding adieu about whom you genuinely care. Being strong does not mean being mean. You could still be strong or stronger by expressing your genuine emotions whether you are with your family or with your colleagues.

Lend your ears to the human being within you and tell yourself that it is absolutely ok to cry, even if it is in office!

Junkism – The oblivious sin!

A few years back there was an opportunity at our church in Bangalore to present on stage a theme from life, with Bible as the backdrop. The event was called TechnoFest. We had a group at the church, of young working professionals named Santhome Professionals Forum. We decided to do a skit with the theme of ‘addictions’. Our skit touched upon all types of traditional and modern addictions ranging from alcoholism to mobile addiction. The performance was well received and we were quite happy to have presented a socially relevant topic in front of the entire parish.

Years down the line if we were to recreate the skit, I would like to include a unique kind of addiction, which unlike others, is rarely noticed by the world around us. It is a sin committed in the form and shape of a regular grocery purchase. This is an act that is never condemned by the society as taboo. You will never be looked down upon by anyone since it is slower than slow poison. What you buy is poison cleverly disguised as food! ‘Junk food’ is the villain here in this picture.

Let us accept it. Many of us born after 1980 are in one way or other addicted to junk. The degree of addiction for sure varies. A glance at the brightly lit bakery display, a hand that reaches out to that extra sweet confectionery, the chocolate that smiles at you which discreetly finds it’s way into your shopping cart, the fried and oily poison that you gulp down in the form of food are all but various forms of junk. The list can be endless.

If you are blessed to have a childhood in early 80s you might remember the evening snacks that your mom would have prepared for you. Unlike us, the parents of young kids today, they rarely reached out to a biscuit tin which had a bakery item stored.

They spent time and effort in making a healthy alternative which had natural ingredients that appealed to our taste buds. These included all those traditional snacks you could think of ranging from banana leaf covered jackfruit snack to rice flour delicacy stuffed with coconut and jaggery.

The question for us parents today is, are we putting even half the efforts that our parents took to keep us away from junk food? Of course they had the advantage of reduced accessibility to junk those days that they were almost forced to feed us with good food, as ironic as it may sound!

So what’s the best way to check if we are addicted to junkism? The easiest method is to first make a list of all possible junk you include in your regular grocery shopping or off hand purchases. Then figure out the frequency of your consumption of these items. If any of the items in your list appears in your consumption pattern in a week, you can be pretty sure that you are addicted to junk. It is as simple as that.

Is there a way to get over this addiction? The good news is yes! An even better news is that the withdrawal symptoms are far less intense than traditional addictions. But what is more challenging with junkism is that you need a very strong intent and a super strong self motivation to get out of the habit. This is quite critical since unlike other addictions there won’t be any external factors that restrict the availability of these items such as restrictions by law or social taboos etc. Hence you define your destiny!

One of the ways to get over the addiction is to declare in public your intent to abstain from one or multiple items in your junk list. Try this for a certain period and check if you could make that lifestyle change permanent.

If you are one with quite a disciplined lifestyle who have not been in the clutches of junkism, God bless you! For the rest of us, may we get the courage to accept the fact that we are addicted. May we also be blessed with the strength to take the first step to get over junkism before it is too late for us and more importantly for the people who love us! 

Love: Conditions don’t apply!

“Do you have any difficulty there? Is everything ok?” This was one of the first questions my grandpa used to ask my sweetheart every time we spoke with him over the phone. He was genuinely concerned about the fact that we stayed far away from home in a place where people spoke a language that was different from our mother tongue. We used to stay in Bangalore then. It didn’t matter to grandpa that it was just an overnight journey from Bangalore to Changanacherry, my home town. For him we were in alien land and was truly worried about us. We were quite fortunate to have experienced his love, the one that held us together through thick and thin.

I’d seen my grandpa expressing similar concerns towards everyone in the family. He never differentiated between those who are from the family as against those who came into the family. He was teaching us a very valuable lesson through his expression of love. Family survives on a fundamental truth. Love needs to be expressed in a form that is truly unconditional. The moment you introduce conditions for love then you’ll never be able to love everyone in the family in the same manner.

In fact, unconditional love comes naturally for most parents towards their kids. Having said that it is also a common phenomenon to have a favourite son or daughter for many parents. Even then, most parents share their love among their children in a pretty uniform manner. The times when situations in family could get delicate is when the children start a family of their own. The equations tend to change in some cases. This is exactly where the earlier incident citing grandpa’s wisdom commands a respect.

There could be reasons plenty for parents’ behaviour to have variation in expression of love towards the children and their family. Right from social acceptance of the new relatives to proximity of residences as well as personality differences of son-in-law or daughter-in-law can cause the parents to behave differently. The elder ones in the family tend to understand this differentiation and either reacts to it or in many cases decides to swallow the bitter pill. The affected parties in the whole picture are the grandchildren. Their innocent minds do not understand why their cousins get a special treatment while they get grossly ignored.

It is also a fact that not all children in a family tend to be at similar levels of independence. There could be certain children needing emotional and financial backing that the parents generally provide an additional level of support in all respects, emotionally, physically and financially. What they don’t realize in such cases is the fact that, lesser affected children while they may not need any financial support, still yearns for the same amount of support for their emotional needs. All they ask for is to be loved unconditionally.

While the story of unconditional love progresses between parents and the family of children, there is a different face to this whole story. This is the version that is generally seen in a family where the husband or wife display favouritism towards their respective families. This is an unfortunate state of affairs for the affected family. When you say ‘I do’ you accept both the families as your own. Your spouse’s parents should be as dear to you as your own parents. Any act of demeaning or reducing the significance of your better half’s family is nothing but injustice.

What couples need to realize is the fact that your spouse’s family is the primary mould in which he or she was created. Their behaviour and nature are driven predominantly by the manner in which they were brought up. Your in-laws have an unparalleled influence on your spouse’s personality. Hence it is not your merit that you ended up liking your better half, instead due credit must be given to the family that made them what they are.

Hence it is absolutely critical to acknowledge and show respect both ways by parents as well as the children to their respective families. Finding a suitable partner for your kids should not be the end of story for parents. Same applies to those who got married to the one they fell in love. Your match making will truly be blessed only when you learn and accept each other along with their family. May you have the wisdom to extend a heart full of warmth not just to your loved ones but their loved ones as well! 

The U-Turn

We planned and executed our first ever family trip to Europe last year. Switzerland was one of the dream destinations we included in our itinerary. While planning the trip, we shortlisted a few locations to visit in this beautiful piece of heaven. One such location was Isenfluh, a lesser known scenic place among the countless exotic destinations in this country. Google gave such magnificent images of Isenfluh that, not including this among our places to visit, was absolutely unthinkable. Thus we started our trip with Isenfluh as a definite stop among the locations to cover in Swiss.

After visiting a couple of other places in our itinerary we finally reached the Swiss Alps. On the way back from a famous hill station we spotted a tiny wooden board pointing to the left with the name ‘Isenfluh’ written on it. The road was narrower, compared to its counterparts in the country. We entered the road and immediately found a stark difference in the design of traffic. While the number of vehicles were quite less we had to navigate through a two-way traffic with no divider separating the road and the left border grazing the deep valleys of Alps!

Being a first time driver in Europe and having all our lives in my hands, I started the drive up the winding paths of the mighty mountain with a shiver down the spine! The only thing that still motivated us to go ahead was the fact that the images we saw earlier in Google slowly started to become a reality.

Further up the hill, a tunnel awaited us which looked quite spooky. This was unlike numerous other tunnels that we passed through in this nation were every other mountain seemed to have been cut through to create a passage. The tunnel was built in its most natural form with the mountain chipped away to create the path and is devoid of any structural reinforcement with concrete. The eerie feeling was complimented with a board that welcomed us at the mouth of the tunnel announcing the age of the passageway as more than a century old.

The lighting inside the tunnel was also less than others that we saw in Swiss. It was either designed that way to provide the commuters with a unique sort of an experience while the stark reality remained right in front of our eyes about the space crunch inside the tunnel where it was quite an effort to give way to a vehicle that came from the opposite direction. After what seemed to be an endless drive through a scary pathway we literally saw the light at the end of the tunnel!

A mesmerizing view of Alps greeted us at the exit of the tunnel that left us short of breath and we literally stood there absorbing the beauty of this awesome creation of God! Soon we realized that it was not just the beauty that left us with less air to breathe, but was also the combination of altitude that we climbed and the fear that intensified even more through that narrow path around the tiny stretch of mountain side. That was the exact moment when a bigger car took quite a sharp turn at the already narrow road and literally pushed us right to the edge of the cliff! It was indeed a narrow escape.

We stopped the car for a moment and took a deep breath to absorb the gravity of what just happened. While the majesty of Alps that surrounded us was too enticing and as a seductress lured us into her open arms, we took a very hard decision that very instant not to proceed further! We clicked a couple of pictures to capture the moment for eternity and with great difficulty managed to take a U-turn to return to safer plains.

This was a defining moment that reminded us of certain points in our lives where we need to stop and think if it is truly worth proceeding. If your conscience tells you that the way ahead is quite dangerous to the extent of being life threatening, do not hesitate to take a U-turn. It may be an opportunity lost, but putting at stake the lives of your loved ones does not justify even the greatest of temptations in this mortal world!

May you be blessed with the courage to take informed decisions in such moments of truth. 

Alone with a guest

The taxi dropped me right in front of my building. Got my luggage and took the elevator to my apartment. The sheer thought of being alone for the next few days was quite depressing. An emotionally draining experience many expats go through especially in the Middle East. This happens during school holidays when the families go back home and you are forced to live as a bachelor. This will be the eight time I am destined to feel this agony. Little did I know that things were going to be different this year!

I turned the key and the apartment door opened unwillingly as if it woke up from a long sleep that lasted for two weeks when we were not at home. I switched on the air conditioning and looked around to see the layer of dust that has quietly creeped in while we were away. I reached out to the windows and pushed it open by turning the dusty latch. A sudden gush of air came in as if someone was waiting impatiently outside the door to be let in. The breeze brought with it some more dust which blinded me for a few moments. By the time I could open my eyes, the room was back to normal with the breeze nowhere to be seen.

I unpacked the bags quickly. Soon enough I was ready since it was a working day and had to head straight to office. I closed the main door behind me as I stepped out of the apartment. Just before the door got fully locked I felt the breeze again, the same wave of air that greeted me when the windows were opened earlier.

It was a busy day. I returned home a bit late. The empty house that welcomed me back, gave quite a gloomy feeling to the evening that was soon getting darker. I took a shower and stood in front of the giant mirror we’ve in our hallway to comb my hair. While I was thinking of what to have for dinner I thought I saw in the mirror a flash of movement behind me! I swirled back, but saw nothing. I blamed my tiredness from the flight last night and headed to the kitchen to make dinner.

Soon after the dinner, I emptied the trash can and headed to the chute on my floor to dump the trash cover. The hallway was completely empty and there was an eerie silence with most of the houses devoid of kids. I deposited the trash cover inside the chute and closed the door back. That’s when it happened! I was quite sure this time that I heard a sound. The sound so distinct that I could clearly identify it as a flutter of wings. What was strange was that I couldn’t see a bird anywhere nearby. Did I really hear that or was my mind playing games with me? I felt the silence thickening around me and decided to head back to my apartment.

Shortly after the prayers I hit the bed with a book and soon my eyes were becoming heavy with the weariness from the long day. Before I fell into a deep sleep I thought I heard someone whispering a soft good night wish into my ears. I was pretty sure that my tired body and mind was making up all these and with a smile I embraced the depths of the much needed sleep.

I woke up quite fresh and before heading to the bathroom noticed something lying on the floor of the bedroom. It was a long and beautiful feather. The building complex was home to a few pigeons and had occasionally found one or two small feathers in the balcony. But this one was unlike anything before. I’d never seen a feather like that in my life and was equally surprised to see that inside my house! It even had a very peculiar fragrance but I couldn’t figure out what it was. I kept it away and got myself ready for office.

Though there were enough tasks to keep me busy at office, the thought of the feather came back to me once a while. I mentioned this to my sweetheart when I called her, but she didn’t seem to give much importance to it. I reached home and headed to the shower. I thought a warm shower will save me from my thoughts and was enjoying the feeling of hot water on my skin. Suddenly I thought I heard a noise at the bathroom door. I parted the shower curtain slowly. The bathroom was half filled with steam from the hot shower. Through the mist I watched with horror the handle of the door turning quietly! Time was standing still. The door opened and to my pleasant surprise I saw a golden haired girl with beautiful blue eyes coming into the bathroom. For a moment I even forgot that I was half way through my bath!

When I managed to get my senses back, I asked her who she was. She smiled and said, “I’m Angel”. Then just like that she vanished! The door remained closed. I couldn’t make any sense of what just happened. Did I really see a girl who forced her way into my bathroom? Or am I going crazy from all the loneliness that surround me? The night was eventless but was quite startled when I woke up the next morning before the alarm went off. I felt someone wishing me “Rise and shine”. No feathers were found that day though.

With a confused mind, I headed to office. I spoke to my wife about all these and after a while she made me feel at ease. Reached home, but no one came today in between the bath.

I sat on the couch with my dinner to watch a TV show. As I was about to change a channel there she was! Sitting right next to me. I could see the bright blue eyes shining even more. We started speaking and topics were so varied that everything related to my life especially from the day I got married kept flowing. Interesting enough she never let me ask more about her personal life. I finished the dinner and got up to wash the dishes. She vanished again.

This continued for the next few days. Angel gave me company at home. We talked a lot and laughed even more. I didn’t even realize how quickly days went by. I told my sweetheart about what’s happening here at home. She sounded amused at my story but surprisingly her reaction was not quite what I expected. Strange were the days.

One of these days my wife called and said she and our little one both developed a fever. They met the doctor and got the medicines. It took a couple of days before they got better. It was quite a chaos with all the confusion back home that only on the third day when I returned home and saw Angel, I realized that I didn’t see her for the last two days. Though I asked where she was, she avoided giving me a straight answer.

Soon the day came for me to head back home to bring my family back to Dubai. As I locked the door to head to the airport I could see a pair of bright blue eyes and a hand waving at me wishing me a happy journey. A few days later along with my wife and kids we were back in our apartment again. I opened the door with a pounding heart, half expecting to see Angel there greeting us. But nothing happened.

Days went by. Life was usual. I realized Angel was only a figment of my imagination. One evening my wife and I were having a conversation in the hallway where the giant mirror was placed. Our little one while riding her cycle accidently hit the thick border of the mirror. The impact was quite high that the mirror got off the hinges and started falling towards my wife. My reflex told me to reach out to the mirror. Though I could get hold of one of the edges it was too heavy for me to balance it. The other edge of the mirror was bound to hit my wife’s head and with a splatter of blood, the glass was to break into zillions of tiny pieces!

What happened instead was nothing short of a miracle! She had raised her hand in reflex and it almost touched the other edge of the mirror. As I tried my best to balance the mirror, I could see her hand barely touching the edge on her side. That was the moment when I felt a breeze, the same breeze that came through the window a few days back when I was home alone. I looked at her eyes expecting to see a deep shade of fear as she struggled to hold the mirror.

What greeted me in fact was a beautiful blue tinge in her usually brown eyes. As the mirror was getting balanced I could see the eyes sparkle even more in blue. I looked deeper into them and there she was! Angel. I asked her, “Where did you vanish?” My wife’s lips moved and out came the words, “I was always here where I am to be. I am your sweetheart’s guardian angel. Last week when you were alone getting lost in a sea of despair she was the one who prayed for bringing you peace. I couldn’t help but hear her prayer and loaned myself all those days except when she really needed me back when there was a bout of illness back home”.

We placed the mirror back on the hinges safely. I turned around and hugged by sweetheart. I then heard a flutter of wings. As the sound faded, a beautiful feather descended and landed softly on our palms. It had the same unique fragrance.

The fragrance of love! 

Fall in love... gracefully!

Here is one of the most widely circulated jokes about marriage:

“Getting married is like buying a new phone. After a while you get a feeling that you should have waited for a better model"!

Though the above joke is one in bad taste, the truth remains that most people after sometime of being married tend to question themselves of the big decision they took. If there is someone who had not experienced this, he or she must either be a saint or not lived under the same roof right after they got married. It is quite natural that this happens and don’t get worked up if you are one who had these thoughts or are having them at present.

There is one big difference though between a phone and your spouse. The model of the phone you bought is a fixed one and will never get better with time. Whereas your spouse is an evolving model, the one for which the best is yet to be seen. What more, their best is in fact in your hands! The key is for you to realize that the power of making the relationship work is in your thoughts itself!

Never ever have the impression that this is a challenge only for newly married couples. Every couple go through something similar once a while though in varying degrees. When it comes to newbies it is just the lack of experience that makes the situation look more challenging.

One of the biggest mistakes many of us make when we face this situation is letting the mind have a free run. We let our thoughts go wild and attribute all possible reasons to why the relationship is strained and why it won’t work. What we underestimate is the power of our mind. It is a double edged sword where our thoughts marry our behaviour. The more frequent and constant our thoughts are, higher the chances are for our mind to consider that as the truth.

A double edged sword perhaps is one of the most dangerous weapons. Don’t use it right, you may risk getting yourself killed! Master it, you won’t need any other weapon. So how do we use this power of mind to our advantage? The secret is to fall in love, gracefully, to the same person whom you find difficult to accept. You won’t be able to do this alone and will need the help of a mutual friend of yours, ‘time’. Use that wisely along with reassuring yourself that things will change. Nothing remains constant for ever. Shower yourself with positivity that drains out all those negative emotions that surround you. Do something that your partner loves even when you may not appreciate it. Learn to walk a different path though it may be challenging.

Do these for a while. Before you even know you'll notice a significant change in your chemistry. The mighty dislikes in the past will start looking like insignificant nothings. The hatred you had gives way for sheer happiness. Concerns on longevity of your marriage becomes a thing of the past. All these tell you only one thing. You have fallen in love! Trust me, it indeed is a blessing to experience this beautiful feeling.

While it seems easy to preach the thought, practising something like this is a huge task in itself. Hey! Who ever said it is easy to learn the double edged sword?

Luca, I ‘hate’ you!

Disclaimer: I never attempted a movie review before and hence you may find this weird. The only reason why I decided to follow and watch ‘Luca’, a Malayalam movie that got released on 28 June 2019 was that a friend was the co-writer. But that is perhaps the last reason for writing about this movie now. If the movie ‘Luca’ was a person, here are the seven reasons why I ‘hate’ Luca!

Luca, I hate you for being a celestial experience that made people write tonnes about you. Having introduced to you for a while, I couldn’t stop myself from reading those reviews that sadly made me judgemental about a few characters at least. I know deep down in my mind that I could appreciate some of the onscreen personalities better if I met you first before knowing bits and pieces about you.

I strongly urge anyone reading this who has not watched the movie yet, to stop reading this right now and all other reviews. Watch the movie first. It’ll be one of the best investments of your time!

Luca, I hate you for making me wait for 45 minutes from the beginning to bring a smile on my face. I blame my judgemental mind for that. Before even I knew that smile found its way to my face, the moment Niha decided to give Luca a hug for the first time. It probably was the most innocent moment in both their lives. A beautiful beginning of many such tender moments ahead.

Luca, I hate you for rekindling some of the most sensitive emotions that were lying deep down in my heart. Looking back, I now love those moments I got overwhelmed with the blanket of love with which you clothed me.

Luca, I hate you for walking ahead of time and applying the concept of FaceApp when you sketched her sweetheart’s picture for Kunjamma and showing her how he’ll look twenty years later! You could see the future and here is my earnest wish for the artist in you to be alive till the time a year comes when it does not rain for all twelve months!

Luca, I hate you for teaching people around you to talk in silence. How did they learn to speak through their eyes? How did you make their hearts reach out and embrace each other while sitting across a table with no words spoken? A crumbled piece of paper and a dead cat. Past buried and love is future!

Luca, I hate you for making history at the end. Has the world ever seen anything like this before? I doubt. It is probably my ignorance, but the very little I’ve seen and known, does not tell me that I’ve seen anything similar before. This Luca, is your sheer brilliance!

Finally, Luca, I hate you for one more reason. A reason that is not because of you I know. I hate you for reaching the cinemas in Kerala when I hardly had time to come to you. I hate you even more for reaching Dubai when I had left my sweetheart back home! This is the greatest regret I’ve Luca, that I couldn’t give you both our hearts. You now be content with just one.

But let me tell you what I’m going to do as soon as I reach home next week. I’m going to drag my love to meet you because I do not want her to lose the sheer bliss of experiencing you!

Lost in love! Long live Luca! 

When my niece stopped a plane!

Bangalore, the beautiful garden city was engulfed in a thick blanket of fog at 4 o’ clock in the morning that day. Getting up that early was not my usual routine, but it was meant to be a very special day. I was to drop my dear cousin and her little one to the airport. My cousin had a trans-Atlantic flight to catch from Bangalore all the way to Chicago with one stop in-between. It was going to be an affair with the skies for more than 20 hours! She was quite tensed thinking of the long journey with my niece who was just a few months old. The very first flight for the baby!

We reached the airport before time so that she could comfortably finish check-in related procedures. These were the days when online check-in was yet to become the norm. My uncle and aunt, her parents, were with us as well to see her off. Uncle informed her that we’ll wait outside the airport till the time the flight departs. It was probably one of the finest decisions uncle took which I’m sure made him happy later.

The sequence of incidents that unfolded later was to be termed nothing less than a real-life-drama. My sister along with the baby completed the check-in procedures pretty well. Being a mom for the first time and travelling with a few days old baby is never an easy combination. She somehow managed to complete the process and moved to the boarding gate. Soon enough she found herself seated next to an American guy who was destined to have a flight of his lifetime!

Shortly before the take-off, my niece decided that she had enough of being a nice kid and started acting cranky. My cousin used every possible arsenal she had to pacify the little one. This was the first of a million times she was to realize that there were certain moments when no tricks what-so-ever worked with an angry baby. What she wouldn’t have known then is that she was to become an expert in all such cases soon with God blessing her with four more such angels in future!

The baby continued to act difficult and started crying incessantly. My cousin could see the American gentleman starting to get a bit uneasy in the next seat. Somehow he seemed to have got a vision of what’s going to happen next and was mentally preparing for the worst. The cabin crew started to take notice of the situation as well. While the drama was on, the captain of the flight announced the immediate departure of the flight. The tyres started to roll.

My niece promptly elevated the tension of the scene by shifting her crying to top gear. Soon she was competing with the vibration of the flight taxiing to the runway with her earth shattering scream. She realized that something needed to be done immediately lest the flight will take off. The moment of truth arrived! She took her full strength and with a loud cry splashed an entire load of vomit right on to the lovely wrinkle free shirt of the American. This was the very moment when flight touched the runway!

The whole scene on-board turned quite chaotic. Everyone around my cousin’s seat started getting panicky. The cabin crew decided to intervene. Without wasting a moment they informed the dire situation to the captain. This was moments before the flight was given clearance to take off by Air Traffic Control.

Not knowing any of these dramatic events, we remained at the airport parking lot awaiting the sight of the departing flight. Shortly after my niece finished executing her final scene of the play, my uncle got a call on his mobile. I could see his face muscles getting tightened as my sister gave him a quick summary of what happened. In a few minutes, we greeted her along with my niece at the Arrivals area of the airport.

My sister narrated the unbelievable story again to all of us. I looked at my niece and there she was, peacefully lying in the arms of my aunt. She even had a smile, the one that is seen only on the face of those who created history!

The Purse Holder

I received an interesting message on one of the WhatsApp groups the other day. The message said money has different names based on the context. For example, money is called offering at church, fees in school, tax for government etc. It ended with the question, “When a man gives money to his wife what do we call it?” I gave it a thought and before sending a response I showed the message to my seven year old son. Promptly came his answer. His said ‘sharing’. Honestly, I couldn’t think of a better answer!

When it comes to a family united through marriage, one of the key factors that will form the basis of everyday living is the cash flow. The obvious question that gets raised many a times is, who is the purse holder? I do not plan to prescribe a recommended way of money management here. All what I intend to do is share a point of view. As the case is with a few other sensitive areas in marriage, this is a decision which couples need to take with a lot of prudence.

The concept of bread-winner associated with men of the family has become a matter of history in many of the families we see around. Women in the past were either not allowed to learn or earn. This obviously led to the man of the family being the sole earning member. Some men associated the earning potential to a sign of power and demanded that they have the final say on the family spend. There were others who literally outsourced the management of finance to their wives and only considered them as mere bread-winners and were least interested in managing the distribution of resources.

Both the approaches mentioned above had its own flaws. The former was quite chauvinistic whereas the latter befriended lethargy. A middle-line seems more acceptable especially in today’s families where earning member is still one person. This is all the more important since the member who remained non-earning is due to their choice than by design.

Most of the families today where women choose to take a break from work due to parental responsibilities do that out of a choice they made for the family. This doesn’t make them any less important than the earning men of these families. In fact their decision needs to be respected even more since if they had decided otherwise the men in these families would’ve never been able to celebrate Father’s Day!

The important fact that needs to be remembered and understood by a couple is that money earned by one or both, is the money earned by the family as one unit. The amount does not belong to the person, instead it belongs to the institution called family. The family members have equal rights on the amount. It is only incidental that one chose to work and the other chose to be a home maker. One is not a premium service than the other. Both these vocations have their own sets of challenges and we’ve heard enough and more stories of how men are known for belittling the volume of work done by the home makers. A true man will always see him at par with his wife and never at different levels of value chain in the family.

There are different ways to ensure that the non-earning member of the family is equally empowered when it comes to the matter of money. Getting supplementary bank cards, maintaining a home purse and ensuring a constant supply of cash, sharing the banking and cash management channels with each other and ensuring transparency in every bit of cash spent are a few tips that can work well to maintain a balance between the parties.

The approach could be slightly different in families receiving two sources of income. A few families I know have decided to use one of the sources for daily expense and the other one is saved totally for investments. There could be many such different ways of money management.

We all need to sit and think which approach suits us the best and implement the method as long as we learn to appreciate the fact that the purse is held by both the parties and together we are responsible for what goes out from it. May you be blessed with the judiciousness for spending well for your families! 

Stroller Power

Our daughter celebrated her first birthday a few weeks before our trip together as a family to Mauritius. My wife and I debated on the need to take the baby stroller with us. Convenience for the baby was the only argument for taking it whereas we could list down quite a few reasons not to take the stroller including the hassle of carrying it, extra luggage etc. to name a few.

Guess the emotional element of baby’s comfort finally overruled every other argument and we ended up carrying the stroller with us. Little did we know that the one year old who ‘convinced us’ to take the stroller was doing us a favour without which the entire trip would’ve been a disaster!

For all the young parents out there, stroller is one powerful accessory you should definitely include in your luggage. Here are some of the quick benefits we realized with this magical vehicle which contributed a lot to our peace of mind during this trip as well as the future ones:

Carrying the little ones

It is probably the most underestimated task especially if you’ve not experienced it before. When on a trip, carrying the kid in your hand can literally be dangerous for your health since sooner or later you’re going to figure out how much of a colossal effort that is! Placing the kid on the stroller not just helps you to be free but more importantly is extremely comfortable for the kid as well. Also, if you are a parent with two kids with minimal age difference you could alternate the usage of stroller so that you don’t tire out the elder one too much.

A push cart

Strollers though are designed primarily to carry kids, many parents use them as a push cart as required. This is even more applicable and useful when you are on a trip. There will be quite a few items that you may be required to carry which can all possibly be supported by this wonderful ride. 

Managing the stroller

Remember the hassles I mentioned earlier that we were debating about carrying the stroller as an extra luggage? If you are taking a flight, many airlines today allow you to carry the baby on the stroller itself till the point of boarding where they’ll take the stroller from you to check that in. A few other airlines’ take the stroller at the Check-in counter itself which you could collect at the destination. Do remember that due to the size of the stroller, it may not be arriving on the same carrousel / belt along with your luggage, instead could be arriving on the over-sized luggage carrousel. This again could be different for different airports.

On the other hand, if you are travelling by train or by road, you could easily find a spot to park the stroller either below the seats or in a luggage holding section if available. In any case, the good news is that managing a stroller isn’t that difficult as what we expected. The benefits a stroller provides definitely outweighs any inconvenience it may cause.

Having said this, there could be certain types of trips where you may want to consider twice before you plan to take a stroller. If your trip is to a beach destination or a challenging trekking expedition, taking a stroller may not necessarily provide you with the benefits cited above. On the contrary it may in fact add to your luggage making the trip more strenuous.

As I strongly believe, you can read or listen to the experience of others but never forget to apply common sense from your perspective to see what is best for you!

Bon voyage!