Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Jan 2016
It was the last day of a weekend. My wife and I were at a shopping mall along with our two little darling angels doing some bit of shopping for winter. The mall was a bit far from our home and we had to drive for a while to reach the place. We were quite tired by the time we finished with the shopping. It was getting late and I started worrying about when we will be able to hit the bed since I had to head to office early in the morning the next day.
We somehow managed to reach home wading through the hectic return traffic of the weekend. All what I wanted to do was to get inside our home, finish the chores and catch at least a couple of hours of sleep. I started getting the bags out of the car and that’s when my wife made an announcement that was about to change our lives! She said she couldn’t find her phone!
The last thing I wanted to do at that given point of time was to search for a missing phone. Nevertheless I took out my phone and dialed her number. Fortunately it was ringing and though we listened for a ringing sound we couldn’t hear any from the car. No one answered the call too. A search for the phone in the whole car didn’t yield any result as well. I could feel my frustration building up. On one hand we had to get both the kids and ourselves to bed to catch some sleep. On the other hand there is this important gadget that is missing which contains lot of personal information that we can’t afford to lose.
I was quite angry at my wife for not even been able to keep safe a phone. Words of sarcasm started flowing out. I was really upset at how irresponsible she was. Obviously she was quite embarrassed with the incident and started getting worked up too. She had not just lost the phone, but now had to put up with me ridiculing her. Her natural defenses woke up and she started to cite all the reasons how she would’ve lost the phone. Justifications in different shapes and sizes were flowing in. The blame game just began.
It was the grand opening of a momentous fight in our life! The war of words went on for a while. We almost reached a stage where the fight with words were giving way to physical assault without even thinking that there were two pairs of little eyes watching us! We’ve seen and read many a times where such bitter fights usually end. It was not too different for us too. We reached a stage where we had to file a case citing ‘irreconcilable differences’. All because of a lost phone!
The picture I painted above was a bit of imagination. Let me now tell you what really happened. Let us go back to the point where my wife made the announcement that she couldn’t find her phone. I wondered what either of us was going to gain by raising our voices about the incident. Instead I took a few deep breaths and calmed myself down. I then asked her to relax and assured her that with God’s grace we’re going to get the phone back. I then prompted her to recollect the last time when she saw the phone. Her mind, which was quite cluttered till a few moments back, started clearing up and she could trace her memory back to the point where she had held the phone last.
I suggested driving back to the mall though it was quite a task in itself. We prayed all the way back to the mall. I also held her hand and told her again that we’re going to get it. The phone was ringing all the while, but no one answered. We kept on calling hoping that someone will pick up. Finally after a while we reached the mall and just when we were stepping inside, someone answered the phone. It was the mall security who reassured that they’ve received the phone and asked up to identify ourselves and get back our lost device!
It was a huge eye-opener for both me and my sweetheart. A simple incident which would’ve ended up in a bad shape turned out to be one of the most beautiful evenings in our life. A decision not to react and panic led us to think clearly and reach a solution rather than blaming ourselves leading to even further complications in life. We now appreciate more, the power of prayer and the strength of bonding which we share.
Yin and Yang in Chinese philosophy describes how opposite or contrary forces are actually complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world [source: Wikipedia]. This was the day when we realized how important it is to be aware of these mighty forces that exist in the world. It is even more important to realize that our mind is quite powerful than any of these forces. It is only a matter of choice which way we steer our thoughts and subsequent actions.
May you have the power to differentiate between reaction and response, the former being quite destructive and the latter very constructive!Wish you all a very positive and happy New Year!