Fight to Love!

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Aug 2014

I remember a time when I was getting really bored being a bachelor. One of the reasons was the fact that most of my bachelor friends had joined the bandwagon of family life. Obviously their priorities got changed with respect to the time they spent with friends. I still had a very close friend-couple with whom I used to spend quite a lot of time together. Guess they had enough of me being a killjoy in their life that they decided to migrate to the UK. That was the last nail in the coffin.

Expectations and dreams were sky high about my life partner. I pictured a lovely life with little bit of indifferences and lots of love. Find of course I did, a perfect partner and we both said ‘I do’ after knowing ‘quite well’ in three months. At least that’s what I thought!

Step into the world of marriage, the screenplay gets thoroughly rewritten. How much ever said and done, I strongly believe that two people will truly get to know only when they start sharing the same roof above their heads. It is more like trying to merge two independent rivers together one fine day and expect them to flow in unison as if nothing has changed in their lives. It doesn’t happen that way. The rivers will have their own nature; one could have flown peacefully all its life whereas the other must’ve had very strong currents. Even if this isn’t the case there still is the difference that both the rivers had taken two different paths before they were merged. The fact remains that you are trying to merge two different streams into one.

We had fights, we still do. Looking back to the initial days of merging our streams of life, we see how trivial some of them were! We can’t even believe today that we really fought for some of those minute little things which look really silly now. We now realize one big truth. Yes, we had our indifferences but they were not based on proving the other wrong. It is not a wrestling match were the opponent needs to be punched and kicked till the time one of them gives up and a third party says you win. This is life for God’s sake. You are not in a game with your loved one as your opponent. You are in the same team. Realize it!

If anyone ever tells you that they never had any fights in their life, I can only assume two things. They are either still flowing as two rivers or they are simply lying. The moment you decide to love each other you’ll naturally learn more about each other. Knowing more is to know the good and bad about each other. Some of them will be naturally appreciated and others may raise the eye brows since such knowledge may not really be the same as what you would’ve expected. This is perfectly fine. It is the most logical thing to happen in your lives since humans are logical beings.

Do not worry about your differences and the fights you may have about them. You are together as a couple yet you are two different people. It is not something wrong since you are made like that by the Supreme Being who designed you like this. The challenge you have in your life, especially in the initial days is like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle. It is quite difficult the very first time when you try to put the pieces together. It’ll make it even more difficult if two people try to solve the puzzle individually. Share your thoughts and you’ll see the puzzle taking shape till the time a smile appears on your face with the final picture revealed. The next time you play the same puzzle, it is much easier. Life’s just like that.

Fight. It is quite normal, but do remember one thing. Fight to love and not the other way round. God bless you!