Neeleshwaram Effect

A cousin's wedding took us to Neeleshwaram, a small town in the Northernmost district of Kasargod in Kerala. We reached on the wedding eve and the next day was quite a happening one. 

By evening, after the wedding, we got back to the lodge where we stayed and I went out to buy some water. Also wanted to see if I could get some tea for all of us. Found a bakery where I got the water bottles. Since there were more than six of us at the hotel I checked with them if I could get tea as a take away item. 

All what I was expecting was to get tea in disposable cups with lids. Then came the twist. 

The shop was run by an elderly lady and her daughter. The lady asked me where I stayed. When she learned about our stay at the nearby lodge she filled a flask and another vessel with tea and also packed half a dozen glass tumblers along with it! There was more to this surprising customer service. 

When I suggested disposable cups, her response was that, tea won't taste good in plastic cups and insisted that I take the glass ones itself! She even sent one guy to help us carry these things back to the place where we stayed.

The tea tasted very good and later I promptly returned the flask and all to the shop. When they took the items back they even asked me to visit Neeleshwaram again to explore this place better.

Needless to say, it was one of the best customer service I've ever experienced in my life. All what I wish is the world to have more people like these to spread genuine selflessness so that we are surrounded with love than hatred! 

Kitchen Adventures

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Aug 2017 

It is that time of the year again. The time when your home becomes a house. The usual noises and sounds disappear. No dropping of your kid to school, no one to say bye to when you leave to office and no one comes running to you with cries of joy when you return home. It is that time of the year for all those expats who are lucky enough to have their family with them to empathize with the vast majority who do not get to be around their family for a considerable part of their life.

School holidays in Middle East forces many like me to be a ‘bachelor’ when the family heads back to their home countries. I know a few who consider this as regaining the long-lost-freedom. There are others like me who live these days like a zombie. All of a sudden, life seems to lose its charm. Somehow the energy levels become all-time low.

I do try to catch-up a bit on certain aspects for which I don’t get time otherwise. I get to open our library and say hi to all those books which were untouched for a long time. While catching up on these things it is also the time of the year when I get to do a bit of culinary experiments.

I should thank my mom for teaching me the basics of cooking long back so that I don’t have to depend on restaurants for survival. I am a strong believer that both boys and girls in our families should be taught these skills right from the age when they are old enough to handle kitchen duties. Though I am not the one who don the role of master chef in our family, I’m quite sure that my wife will vouch for the meaningful assistance she gets from me in the kitchen.

With the family away and I get to handle the kitchen all for myself, my adventure mode sets in. The most recent attempt was to prepare a dish with green gram. Fortunately it turned out well, at least good enough for me to survive for a few days. I’ve to be honest and admit that this is not the case always.

I still recollect one such bitter experience a couple of years back. A poor cabbage was the victim that day. I decided to try a traditional Kerala recipe for cabbage with a mix of coconut. A nicely chopped cabbage was ready in a few minutes. All the rest of ingredients were lined up and waiting for their turn. The pan was heated up and preparation began. One by one each of the ingredients found its way into the pan. I began to feel proud already. A bunch of items a few hours back that was sitting idle on a supermarket shelf is about to turn into the world’s best cabbage dish! It was nothing less than magic!

The dish was almost ready and the aroma filled the air with the traditional Kerala recipe saluting me for a job well done. I tasted the end-product and was quite confident that both my wife and mom, if around, would’ve given me an award for the preparation. That exact moment was when the devil put an idea in my brain. It was inspired by one of the regular culinary columns from a popular women’s magazine published back home in Kerala. It was a column by a well-known media person who loved experimenting with his dishes.

The thought that I’ve proved my culinary skills with a good dish was not enough. How do I differentiate myself from the lesser mortals like my wife and mom? Needless to say that such thoughts are the after-effects of leading a corporate life. I looked around for that X-factor to differentiate my dish. My eyes got stuck on a bright yellow color. It was an innocent looking lemon lying around with no connection whatsoever with the cabbage recipe. But the creativity in me overruled logic.

Promptly I cut the lemon and squeezed it all over my brilliant dish. I ensured that the lemon reached every corner of the dish. It was time to taste my invention-of-the-century. A spoonful of the dish and my world of pride came tumbling all the way down! It was a disaster to say the least.

A lesson well learned but I’m happy that it didn’t stop me from trying more. This is also a reminder to all of you out there that nothing is out-of-bounds for you in your home. Try your hand on everything. Be happy if it turns out well. Try again if it doesn’t.

My experiments in our kitchen continues even today. God bless you all! 

The Martyrs

It must’ve been brutal. There were slashes all over their body. Three of them, all recent recruits. Their white colored skin were all covered red now, with the obvious. A quite promising career ended in the hands of seasoned criminals. Two of them were identified as key suspects, though yet to zero in on the actual murderer.

Their cries must’ve gone unheard with the machinery in operation. It was quite evident that the victims went through extreme torture that’s unwarranted. They were literally holed up in a cylindrical shaped room and were tossed violently all around before they breathed the last.

Everything stopped with the siren going off indicating that its time. Rest of them in the room were quite safe except for minor cuts and bruises. Soon the body of these three were found completely drenched in deep red. They were like withered flowers.  Droopy and dead.

The investigation is still on to figure out the killer. Who will it be? Who will be so heartless to make a pure white kerchief turn blood red while in the washing machine?

Is it the new red leggings of my wife or the bright red shorts of my son?

The mystery remains...

The Bridge of Happiness

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Jul 2017 

It has been a few years since Alex and Nisha got married. They distinctly remember the big day when they got into a car right after the wedding ceremony which had a board that said ‘Just Married’. The journey had a smooth start but soon they hit some bumpy roads. Nevertheless they decided to continue their travel. Soon enough they got into better roads and as it progressed, they could see some sort of a construction far ahead which was closer to the beach.

It didn’t take too long before they reached the construction site. It was a pretty long bridge that was getting constructed across the sea and was named, ‘Bridge of Happiness’. The most interesting fact about the bridge was that they were allowed to get on to it even when the construction was not complete!

Nisha and Alex went ahead and progressed quite well on the bridge. It was quite a long one indeed and seemed to be never ending. While they progressed on the bridge, they were joined by two kids. After a while on the bridge, the couple got into some sort of an argument. Soon they were into a bitter war of words. Strange enough they both sensed that their fight was affecting the bridge as well since they both thought the bridge was shaking a bit!

As the fight between them got severe they noticed something even more mysterious. It was no longer a feeling, Alex and Nisha both could see the bridge rattling and it only got worse with the intensity of their fight. At the pinnacle of their fight the bridge started to crumble! They realized with gripping fear that the bridge which was built across the sea was soon disappearing under their car!

The moment when Alex felt that he was losing all hope of life, he felt a hand reach out and touch him. It was Nisha who took his palm and said, “Together we live, together we die, either which ways love you lots”. Those words seem to have done some magic around them! The bridge that almost collapsed stopped shaking and they could see the construction getting restarted almost immediately. The Bridge of Happiness was back in action.

What you read till now was obviously a work of fiction. The fact is, reality isn’t that different in our lives. The moment we step into a married life, it is a journey in itself. You’ll have a bag of emotions that you’ll always carry with you. There will be a whole lot of experience that await you in your journey ahead. You’ll have smooth sails as well as bumpy rides. Without even you realizing it, you are investing all of these experiences to form a bridge of happiness in your life. It is on this bridge that you continue your voyage of life.

Each time you have an argument, each time you make your family go through a pain; the bridge shakes. You’ll feel the world around you losing its charm and experience the negative forces rattling the bridge of happiness which you built together with your partner. It is important to be aware that there is no need to lose hope even in the worst of situations you may face in life. It is equally important to know the power of healing you could bring to your life especially to your partner with a simple act of reaching out.

Most of the times when couples have their arguments, one will be more hurt than the other. The same applies when there are challenges in life where one may remain stronger compared to the other. It is obvious that the one that is more hurt or weaker will have to put up with the intense experience similar to a bridge collapsing under the car. The best person in the world to help them come out of that situation is none other than the partner. A simple touch, a comforting word or an understanding look may all be required for them to bounce back and get your life back on track!

Ask this yourself. Can you be that stronger one in your life to get the collapsing bridge back to construction so that life is back on the happiness track? Can you be the hand that extends the healing touch to your partner so that you reclaim your life?

Let the Bridge of Happiness remain under construction for ever in your life! God bless! 

Hot & Spicy!

A few months after I started with my Post Graduation course outside Kerala we got our first holidays. It was my first experience of staying away from my family and I was super excited to head back home! Nothing during that age was better than having the lovely food prepared by my mom. Needless to say, she had prepared those stuff which I loved the most.

Quite a few dishes awaited me at the dining table and was anticipating an attack any moment. The saliva was creating Mexican waves in my mouth and soon enough I started with my most favourite dish. As soon as I took the first bite I could sense something wrong! My taste buds were on fire and the entire food pipe experienced an intense burning sensation. That’s when I truly realized how spicy the food back home was!

The few months I was away being deprived of mom’s food and my taste buds experiencing an almost bland food from the college hostel, the spices back home became unbearable. That’s when my dad told me this story about one of the boldest grandmothers we’d in the family who was a connoisseur of spicy food! Kunjammachy was her name.

Kunjammachy was far beyond her senior citizen age at that time and it had been a few years since her eye sight failed her. But her taste buds still rocked big time! She loved spices and wanted everything served to her really spicy. One day she got a chutney made by one of her granddaughters. The chutney made for Kunjammachy was already extra hot that usually the rest of the family wouldn’t even attempt to try that.

The chutney was served to Kunjammachy and she had a spoonful. What followed next was a rhetoric of blasting to her granddaughter citing that the chutney is nowhere near being spicy. A lecture followed as well on how to make real spicy chutney. The granddaughter was quite taken aback with the lashings and she went back to the kitchen, doubled the spice quotient and served the dish again.

A quick tasting of the chutney by Kunjammachy and what happened next was unprecedented. The granddaughter saw a ‘flying saucer’ coming right at her and sure enough it didn’t miss the target. Her forehead received a massive blow with the saucer in which she served the chutney. Just like thunder following lightning, promptly came the avalanche of yelling and screaming!

“That’s it!” The granddaughter said. She went out, right into the backyard and searched for a specific genre of chilli the name of which literally translates as ‘Cheek Buster’. You touch it with your bare hand and you’re done for a few days with extreme burning sensation from the chilli. The granddaughter was so miffed that she got a couple of those deadly chillies and grinded them along with the chutney and promptly placed it in front of Kunjammachy.

The eyes that couldn’t see twinkled! Kunjammachy’s senses became all alert. She took a spoonful and tasted a little bit of that fiercely spicy chutney. All what it took was a few moments before tears started rolling down those cheeks. Blood rushed to her face. Her whole body was heated up like crazy. The entire food pipe and the internal organs must’ve got a flash fire shower! She was absolutely shaken.

Surprisingly she didn’t stop there and in fact had a few more spoons of the chutney. Then came the statement, which from that day, became a folklore in the family.

She told her granddaughter these words, “Good one dear, now it is a little bit spicy at least!” 

Two minutes of silence!

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - June 2017

A while ago in one of the articles, I’d mentioned about an advice my boss gave me about life after marriage. When I shared my apprehensions about getting married, he said, “Jerry, getting married is nothing! The moment you become a dad or mom; that is what I’ll call a game changer! Rest everything is pretty simple!”

His advice definitely took shape when we became parents for the first time. It didn’t stop there. We hardly knew what we were signing up for when we became parents again! If having a child was a game changer, having two kids is a whole different game altogether!

The two little brats, a five year old boy and a little girl who is yet to turn two, make our home buzzing with activities that seem to be going on for almost 24/7. There is something or other happening around us all the time. The house is filled with the noises of their fights, their cries, their toys and what not. It is a war zone daily out there and many of the days, my wife and I have reached our heights of patience and it is indeed a wonder that our sanity still clings to its dear life!

While things were going on like this, one weekend I was about to have my breakfast. It was corn flakes that day and our little girl came running to me for her share. As usual I gave her a spoonful of the cereal. I usually mix my cereal with some healthy nuts and dry fruits to make it richer. After a few more spoons she stopped asking me for more. Instead she suddenly appeared to be tired and showed signs of being sleepy. It looked so strange since she just woke up only a few minutes back from a very sound sleep. Little did we know that a spine-chilling drama was about to unfold!

She soon started yawning and we continued to wonder what’s wrong. A few more minutes went by before we realized that there could be a portion of nuts or so stuck in her throat. We tried our basic understanding of how to deal with such situation, but with no results. The baby started showing signs of weariness.

Soon enough her eyes started rolling up which definitely is a sign of danger. We tried our best, to check if she can spit out anything at all that may be stuck in her throat. Finally we decided that keeping her at home will make things worse and quickly got ready to drive her down to the nearby hospital. That very moment she started coughing very badly and it was soon followed by her throwing up what she had including half a piece of a walnut!

Immediately after this, our little girl was back in action. All her tiredness and sleepiness seem to have disappeared into thin air. The yawning and rolling of eyes gave way to non-stop activities and lighting speed tactics. Having said that, the two minutes when she was almost near the bridge that connects this world with the other, was a defining moment for us. It was indeed an eye-opener.

We realized that our house was unusually quite during those two minutes. The usual hustle and bustle was suddenly missing. There were no longer cries of happiness, instead was only cursed with an eerie silence! The running behind the kids was replaced with a frantic run for saving a precious life. We longed for her to do something mischievous so that we can see her naughty smile when scolded, instead we only saw a pair of eyes that was soon losing its brightness. We saw doom coming!

What happened next was something we strongly believe as the intervention from a super-natural being. The cough she started having was God send which resulted in her throwing up the piece of walnut that was stuck deep down in her throat. We were so fortunate to have our little one back to her normal life soon!

It was a lesson learned, a very painful one indeed. The incident taught us not to wait for the silence from our dear ones to realize how important they are. What we many a times perceive as noise is in fact the sweetest of music from them, provided we learn to train ourselves to listen to it. 

May the good God bless us with the providence to realize such music in life and appreciate every note of it! 

Thank You!

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - May 2017

Alex and Nisha were on the last day of their beautiful vacation. They prepared to vacate the resort and reached the reception to settle the bill. It was quite a hefty amount, but were more than happy to part with it since they were quite delighted with the service provided by the resort folks. The rooms were always neat and tidy. The food was delicious. Laundry was done on time and had an alluring fragrance always. Overall the stay was absolutely a beautiful experience that they both felt pretty much at home!

On their way to airport to catch their return flight, the couple recollected the warmth of service provided by the team at the resort. That’s when it struck them! Everything what they experienced at the resort came with a price tag. Whereas when the same things happen back home without even having to pay a single penny, they never even bothered to acknowledge each other.

Alex and Nisha had taken a decision not to hire a maid at their home and planned their schedules to manage the house-hold chores themselves. Just like what they experienced at the resort, their house was always neat and tidy. Nisha creates magic with her culinary skills. Alex ensure that there was hardly a day when they had a situation of not having washed clothes and almost has a passion to do the dishes. All of these and many more were happening as a well-oiled machinery at their home, but neither of them ever said a thank you for any of these.

Many of us who are married are not different from Alex and Nisha. For us, the responsibilities we take up or what our partners handle are all part of life. It is a natural activity in our daily life and we all conveniently take them for granted. Having said this, it doesn’t mean that we need to start paying each other and say thank you when each and every task gets completed. On the other hand, being thankful need to be reflected in our daily behaviour to one other.

Realize that being a family means, going through all these activities every other day. At the same time ensure that each one of them get their roles acknowledged. Thanking your better half need not necessarily be expressed in kind all the time. It could be a simple gesture of giving a kiss or a hug at the least expected time and tell them what that was for. It could also be in the form of doing an activity for your partner which is usually done by him/her. The whole idea is to bring in a surprise element which by itself talks out loud about being thankful.

There is a huge challenge about taking things for granted. We don’t invest in thinking how to bring difference in our life since these happen naturally and we don’t even realize that we could do differently. You need to willingly put an effort in doing things out of the way. Else it’ll lead you to one of the biggest mistakes in life, which is monotony! Look around and look within yourself. You’ll see quite a lot of families that lead a carbon copy life. One day is exactly the replica of the other. Nothing changes ever.

The only way to get out of this maze of monotony is to think either together or individually on how to bring in those differences in your life. It can be subtle changes like the examples I gave earlier or can be larger ones where it may involve a bit of investment in the form or gifts or planned trips etc. Either which ways all these will lead to breaking of monotony which in itself is a way of thanking each other for the wonderful life you are gifting each other for your family!

Lastly, if you’ve not been doing it, you could also start a practice of gifting yourself. You have done very well and you deserve to be thanked by a gift for yourself. The magnitude of the gift is what you need to consider. It could range from as simple an activity as gifting yourself an ice cream or a chocolate to a more expensive gift that such as a piece of jewellery on which you had your eyes for a long time. All what you need to ensure is take care of the family budget and the confidence of your partner.

Let us learn to be more thankful to our sweethearts. Just because you are married doesn’t mean that you take your partner for granted. Give them the credit for the part they play because they simply deserve it.  

God bless you!