Authority of Love

The other day I happened to hear a story. Quite a funny one, which I am sure most of you would have heard before. Here it is:

One day, a class teacher wanted to help her children understand the difference between authority and absolute authority. Mat, a smart chap raised his hand and said, ‘Authority is when my father tells us children what exactly are we supposed to do.’

The teacher was impressed and said, ‘Very good Mat. Now can you tell us what absolute authority means?’

Without even a bit of hesitation Mat replied, ‘Absolute authority is when my mother tells my father what he should be telling the children on what they are supposed to do!’

While the humour is quite evident, there is a stronger emotion that runs in every family where you see this happening. It is not the position that drives authority, it is the deep respect and love for each other that a father and mother in a family portrays to their children. The kids may or may not understand the nuances of this love while they are small, but eventually they will get this and learn to appreciate the ways of a family.

Come to think of it, the way authority works in the corporate world is not too different. It goes without saying that there is an inherent authority associated to a person’s title or a position in an organization. But what is interesting is the fact that authority alone does not command respect.

I was fortunate to work with some of the leaders who earned tremendous amount of respect from their teams, not just because their title demanded it, but because they decided to showcase their love in the form of empathy above authority. When you have bosses like that, you will give a hundred percent of yourself and at times maybe even more since you just love them for what they are and not what is written against their designation.

I consider myself equally fortunate to have worked with a few managers who belonged to the other side of the fence for whom authority meant absolutely that and nothing else. I remember them, not because I admire their ways of working, but kept that experience close to my heart so that it constantly reminds me of how not to be a leader like them!

If you consider yourself as someone with authority and next time your team agrees to do something for you, ask yourself this question. Are they responding to your authority with love or is it just absolute authority and nothing else?