No Vs Know

We recently went on a vacation to a beach destination. The place we stayed was a lovely house situated right on top of a steep hill overlooking the lovely blue-green waters of Indian Ocean. After getting refreshed, we got out to explore the nearby places. Mia, our little one, was all excited that the steep slope down the hill was something she didn’t pay much attention to. She rushed to the slope and before we could even stop her, had a painful fall. It took a while for us to pacify her. But the fighter spirit in her didn’t let the fall drench the spirit of adventure and the trip went on to become a huge hit!

A few days later, we were back home from vacation and were walking to the parking lot to take the car out. There was a slope that led to the parking lot and Mia was running towards the car. Quite naturally I stopped her by saying, “Don’t you remember what happened during the trip? You’ll fall again”. She looked into my eyes and made a statement that literally left me with a profound thought. She said, “But Appa, I now know how to walk carefully on a slope.”

These are the times when your so-called wise brain gets a shock treatment from a tiny brain as little as a four year old one. It really sends an electrifying pulse to your brain that you have no choice but to sit and think about it. How many times have we stopped a dear one from doing something for the fear of them getting hurt? How many times have these resulted in them losing an opportunity to learn and overcome a fear factor? In fact our action of stopping someone from doing something due to our fear is in fact instilling fear in them as well. If they yield to our request, it is highly likely that they’ll never do that ever in their life, especially if this happens in their childhood.

I’m not generalising. I know quite a few people who have dared their loved ones to go beyond the comfort zones and get themselves experience what’s beyond usual. But if you are someone who set a limit to our dear ones, knowingly but at times unknowingly, we need to be aware that this results in them not getting moulded to overcome the challenges in life.

I remember a cousin brother of mine who was crazy about Navy that he got himself enrolled in a defence academy. One of the initial drills they had was being taken to the open sea on a naval ship. As soon as the ship reached the outer sea, they were asked to jump into the wild waters. Those who showed reluctance were mercilessly thrown into the sea and were left to experience how life will be for a Navy personnel.

While we do not necessarily have to be ruthless as the Navy, the question from my little one was a jolt for me to think differently. I realized the need to unlearn a few things I’ve been following. I really need to give my loved ones the space to learn and succeed than to stop them from doing something and be a perennial failure from not attempting the task.

The attitude becomes so positive when we let people ‘know’ something than saying ‘no’ to them which by nature is quite negative. Having said that, we need to make sure that we don’t cloud our common sense and let our loved ones go into dangers that are evident. The point is to realize the fact that we have a responsibility to make our dear ones experience certain aspects of life and not to deny them an opportunity to make their personalities better.

We all are what we are today, due to someone taking such decisions way back in the past. It could be our parents, teachers, siblings or friends who influenced us one way or other to either stop doing something or jump into and get the experience yourself.

Hence on this Valentines month, here is a warm wish to each one of us to extend our love to dear ones to let them experience what they rightfully should all the while keeping an eye on the boundary of risk by applying our common sense.