What do you think?

Think about some of these situations in your daily life. You are planning to get dressed for an outing with your family and your wife is deciding on the dress to wear. A few days later you both are at an apparel store to select a new dress for her. A couple of weeks back, your wife was in the process of designing a greeting card. Later during the month she is planning for some of the activities for kids’ school. These are just a few scenarios when my wife will ask me one of the most common questions, ‘What do you think?”

I consider myself lucky to be consulted by my better half for my opinion on numerous occasions, big or small. This simply means that she values my opinion and considers it important to know my perspective before she takes a decision.

Honestly there were times when I got worked up for being asked for so many occasions that sometimes I’ve requested her to decide by herself. I have given it a thought many times about this most common human trait and could reach only one logical conclusion; the age-old theory of ‘social being’.    

Whether we like it or not, we humans are designed as social beings. Our basic nature is to live in a society surrounded by similar living beings. Given this fact, it is all the more important for this social being aspect of humans to play a pivotal role in a family. When you decided together to share your life with each other it is a promise to share everything including your time. Though for the law it is a contract between two parties, for the two souls it is much more than that.

I realized to my happiness that my wife asks me for an opinion not because she is incapable of taking a decision herself. On the contrary, in most of the matters she is more capable than me to take decisions. In fact by asking me for an opinion she boosts my self-esteem, without both of us even knowing it. Behind the scenes, this simple act of reaching out gives a pat on the back for my ego by letting it know that you are in demand. Hence it is all the more important to listen to the question and respond in all honesty.

There is an equally important fact to the other side of the picture. One of the interesting observations I’ve made is that, the opinion I provided may not have been applied exactly the way I prescribed. I’ll be deceitful to myself if I say I was never miffed at this. Having said that, I’ve learned to accept it, since this is what I was referring to earlier as the other side of the picture.

Asking an opinion does not mean asking for a decision. Your opinion may or may not be acceptable for your dear ones. Accepting your opinion does not make it more valuable than the rejected ones. The opinion you shared, whether liked or disliked by the other party does not change the status of your opinion. You should gracefully acknowledge the end result irrespective of the opinion you provided. That nurtures the positive relationship between two equal minds.

One of the key things that will make a difference is to be absolutely truthful when you are asked for an opinion. You are being asked not just for an opinion but also to know the truth. In a genuine relationship, there is no place for pretentions. The only care that you may want to apply is the way you put across your opinion, especially if you want to communicate something unpleasant. You can go on admiring the beauty of a rose flower on a stem, but cannot keep mum about the sharp spines that could hurt! Being truthful sometimes could be painful, but being dishonest can be quite lethal.

Next time, someone asks you for an opinion, imagine your ego getting a high-five and revert to the query with your honest and valuable response.

So, what do you think?