Skip to main content

House Arrest!

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - June 2014
Have you noticed the typical families around us? There is a family one where you see both husband and wife working with a house assistant to take care of the maintenance of the house as well as the kids, if they are too small. There is a family two where only the husband works and wife takes care of the house and the kids; they may have a house assistant as well. There could also be a family three where the wife works and the husband takes care of the home and the kids, though this is quite a rare sight in our social environment.
The thoughts this time are more focused on the family two. While I’m aware of the risks of generalization I can’t help but think about the commonalities between the wife in such a family and Aung San Suu Kyi, the famous politician from Burma.
Let us look at the life in a day of the former. The wife generally gets involved right from the morning in preparing the breakfast for the family, followed by dropping the kids at school at times, return home where a heap of work awaits her to be done throughout the day, ensure that the home remains tidy and beautiful all the while taking care of these chores, prepare for the return of her husband from work and kids from school, get things ready for the dinner, take care of whatever that is required for the next day before she hits the bed.
The above actions do not stop with a day. This is pretty much the same for all the working days when her husband has to go to office and kids to school. The only exception, if she is lucky, could be the day off in a week where there could be a change in roles when her husband decides to help her with some of the chores. She might be luckier if the family decides to go out to have some good time together.
While I agree that the above may not be the case in every home, I’ve a question to all the husbands who belong to the family two. Ask yourself if this routine applies to your wife. If not, you must be appreciated for bringing some change to this monotonous rigor in her life. She may never ask for a change, but know for a fact that she’s no better than Ms Suu Kyi who was under house arrest for a long 15 years.
Ask yourself if you’ve sentenced your wife similarly without you even knowing that. If so, here are a few things you could consider improving this situation. The very first thing is to accept that such a situation exists. This can be followed by identifying what best could be done considering the fact that every family is different.
The best thing to do to a person who lives a monotonous life is to bring variety to their life. Be aware that interesting things not only happen to you, while you are away from your family. Have an interest to know more about their time away from you. While knowing more about her day, make sure that you talk to her about your day as well.  Go out for a walk, even if it is only for ten minutes daily it’ll make a difference. Engage yourself in games; there is no better way than to refresh your brain. Play with your kids along with your wife. Your kids need to feel your love and not just their mother’s. There are plenty of other things that can be done. I’ll leave that to your imagination.
I’ve a question for the wife from this family two. You are created with a divine purpose of shaping up the present to be future ready. It is quite a critical task that you have in hand. There is no second opinion about how magnanimous an effort is that. Having said that, it may be worthwhile asking yourself the question that is there anything in addition to this pivotal task that you could achieve?
Even if you are not able to apply your education there are many a things you could still learn. Learning opportunities are plenty around you. All what you need to do is, spot them. Search within yourself the long lost interests. The hobbies you once had which got abandoned half way through your family life. Resurrect them. Reskill yourself. Learn something new. A new language, a musical instrument, a new hobby perhaps; options are plenty where you could make your life more meaningful. Your sweet heart need to realize that he should be extending an absolute and unconditional support to you to make this a reality.
Always remind yourself that we all are given this wonderful gift of life only once. You do not even have the slightest of the clue how long will this last. Make use of this gift, every minute of it. Learn to live your life to the fullest.
‘Dio vi benedica’ as the Italians say ‘God bless you’!


Popular posts from this blog

Mesmerizing Mauritius!

Couple of decades back whenever there was a need to get anything done related to passports or flight tickets, I remember visiting one of the travel agency offices in my hometown. One of the most interesting attractions in the office was the wall that was beautifully adorned with posters of quite a few destinations across the world. Among everything on the wall, one poster always caught my attention. A lovely white sand beach with beautiful emerald green waters with pine trees lining the borders of the beach! It was a scene right out of a fairy tale.
Twenty years down the line, I now stand with the emerald green waters kissing my feet bringing along with it the lovely white sand blanketing my ankles and right behind me I can see the pine trees still lining the borders of the beach. Yes! I am in Mauritius!
It was a family vacation my wife, Ruby and I planned along with our son and daughter, Ryan and Mia, five and one year old each. We had our reservations about travelling with kids; yet …

Glorious Gokarna!

Gokarna [Nov 2008]
Genre: Multi-day trip

Bangalore to Gokarna
Buses VRL/Sea Bird/KSRTC
Train – A station 6 kms from Gokarna
Ø Roads are really bad. If you plan in advance, take a train

Duration – 10 to 12 hours by bus

Local Travel – Auto – Expensive – You could bargain
Almost 10 kms from Gokarna town to Om Beach
BeachesOm Beach – Biggest with multiple cafes
Kudle Beach – Water is better
Half Moon Beach

Places to Stay
Namaste Cafe – At Om Beach – Pretty nice bath attached rooms with electric power & good food – Rs 400 to 600 per day
Skylark Cafe –Solar powered Shacks – Common Bathroom – Rs 200 to 300 per day
There are many other cafes around (Dolphin Café, Sunrise Café)
If you prefer to stay at some luxury resorts, you do have some options for that too there.
Other interesting factsThere’s a German café on the Kudle beach
You could trek and reach the other beaches around, which is fun. Alternatively you could take the boats available which will cost you Rs 50 per head
Ensure that…

Yes! It is my business!

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Mar 2017

A few years back during my higher studies in a city outside Kerala, a bunch of friends including a few boys and girls, paid a visit to a classmate’s home. We all had a good time there and soon it was time for lunch. Needless to say it was a sumptuous treat and at the end of it we got up and was about to take the plates to the kitchen. The host was literally shocked to see us do that and asked us boys not to do that whereas there was no objection for the girls to take the plates to the kitchen. I for a moment thought about my home where my mom ensured that, my brother and I were given the tasks to do everything possible at home to the extent that we almost had a roster for doing the chores!
We see a lot of families around us sharing responsibilities. Some even have a practice of dividing the responsibilities between the husband and wife. While this definitely helps in getting the work done there is a bit of risk with this approach. The divisio…