Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - June 2014
Have you noticed the typical
families around us? There is a family one where you see both husband and wife
working with a house assistant to take care of the maintenance of the house as
well as the kids, if they are too small. There is a family two where only the
husband works and wife takes care of the house and the kids; they may have a
house assistant as well. There could also be a family three where the wife
works and the husband takes care of the home and the kids, though this is quite
a rare sight in our social environment.
The thoughts this time are more
focused on the family two. While I’m aware of the risks of generalization I
can’t help but think about the commonalities between the wife in such a family
and Aung San Suu Kyi, the famous politician from Burma.
Let us look at the life in a day
of the former. The wife generally gets involved right from the morning in
preparing the breakfast for the family, followed by dropping the kids at school
at times, return home where a heap of work awaits her to be done throughout the
day, ensure that the home remains tidy and beautiful all the while taking care
of these chores, prepare for the return of her husband from work and kids from
school, get things ready for the dinner, take care of whatever that is required
for the next day before she hits the bed.
The above actions do not stop
with a day. This is pretty much the same for all the working days when her
husband has to go to office and kids to school. The only exception, if she is
lucky, could be the day off in a week where there could be a change in roles
when her husband decides to help her with some of the chores. She might be
luckier if the family decides to go out to have some good time together.
While I agree that the above may
not be the case in every home, I’ve a question to all the husbands who belong
to the family two. Ask yourself if this routine applies to your wife. If not,
you must be appreciated for bringing some change to this monotonous rigor in her
life. She may never ask for a change, but know for a fact that she’s no better
than Ms Suu Kyi who was under house arrest for a long 15 years.
Ask yourself if you’ve sentenced
your wife similarly without you even knowing that. If so, here are a few things
you could consider improving this situation. The very first thing is to accept
that such a situation exists. This can be followed by identifying what best
could be done considering the fact that every family is different.
The best thing to do to a person
who lives a monotonous life is to bring variety to their life. Be aware that
interesting things not only happen to you, while you are away from your family.
Have an interest to know more about their time away from you. While knowing
more about her day, make sure that you talk to her about your day as well. Go out for a walk, even if it is only for ten
minutes daily it’ll make a difference. Engage yourself in games; there is no
better way than to refresh your brain. Play with your kids along with your
wife. Your kids need to feel your love and not just their mother’s. There are
plenty of other things that can be done. I’ll leave that to your imagination.
I’ve a question for the wife from
this family two. You are created with a divine purpose of shaping up the
present to be future ready. It is quite a critical task that you have in hand. There
is no second opinion about how magnanimous an effort is that. Having said that,
it may be worthwhile asking yourself the question that is there anything in
addition to this pivotal task that you could achieve?
Even if you are not able to apply
your education there are many a things you could still learn. Learning
opportunities are plenty around you. All what you need to do is, spot them. Search
within yourself the long lost interests. The hobbies you once had which got
abandoned half way through your family life. Resurrect them. Reskill yourself.
Learn something new. A new language, a musical instrument, a new hobby perhaps;
options are plenty where you could make your life more meaningful. Your sweet
heart need to realize that he should be extending an absolute and unconditional
support to you to make this a reality.
Always remind yourself that we
all are given this wonderful gift of life only once. You do not even have the
slightest of the clue how long will this last. Make use of this gift, every
minute of it. Learn to live your life to the fullest.
‘Dio vi benedica’ as the Italians
say ‘God bless you’!
