The Catalyst

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Aug 2015

Can you visualize your life as a guy or a girl from the moment you are born till the time you get married? At the risk of attempting a generalization, here is what it looked like for most of us. You spent the initial few years as a baby followed by a decade or more of schooling. You would’ve been around 18 years by the time you started with your college life which added another half a decade or slightly more in many cases.

By your mid 20’s you may have started with a career and after a few years your thoughts grew into having a family of your own. At this point, I want you to take a step back and look at your life again. If all went well, you would’ve now completed a quarter of a century. Many people would’ve been part of your life till now. But who were there as a constant presence throughout this 25 long years of your life? I’m assuming that it won’t be inappropriate if I say it was your parents, siblings and a few rare friends whom you had from your childhood.

All of these people, needless to say, are your well-wishers. They’ve seen you grow, identified your potential and many a times guided the paths you took as well. You may have followed their advice and now enjoy a comfort zone you’ve created between you and them. The picture is pretty rosy. But it comes with a price. The price of being complacent, being self-satisfied! Neither you nor they may have an insight of what more are you capable of. The comfort zone has a dubious distinction of blinding you from the obvious.

The moment you decide to step into a family life of your own, that’s when this comfort zone gets shaken up. The magnitude of this tremor is directly proportional to the speed with which you could absorb the change. If this person, whom you invite to share your life with, is relatively a new entrant, he/she has a clear advantage of not having a baggage of knowing you and thereby being ignorant of your comfort zone. You’ll be surprised to see how this helps your future together.

Your spouse could start asking a lot of questions about yourself, some of which is bound to make you uneasy. It is not their fault, neither is yours. It is because when you are in a comfort zone, anything outside is literally uncomfortable. There could be questions on your choices of work, habits, interests and many more. Be mindful that your ‘new’ loved one is only trying to find a meaning to your decisions till date. In fact they may find a lot of untapped potential in you, which neither you nor your loved ones who were with you for the last few decades could’ve ever found. It is important that you do not resist a change if you can’t justify the resistance. You are quite simply getting exposed to a catalyst. A catalyst for your own good and your loved ones too!

Who is a catalyst from a people perspective? Ignore Chemistry for now. Google says, ‘a catalyst is a person or thing that precipitates an event’. So if your loved one can be a reason to trigger changes for good in you by identifying your hidden potential, isn’t that a good thing? It is interesting to note that most successful people you see around would’ve done something drastically different to make them what they are today. They all have possibly one thing in common. It is a realization that you need to break the shell of your comfort zone, get out of your contented mode and open up yourself for more challenges.

Remember, a catalyst is a change agent and a change could bring out the hidden treasures buried deep inside you. Love your catalysts and may them help you forsake your comfort zones and bring lots of challenges and happiness to your life and everyone around you.

May the good God bless you all! 

I had a dream…

Three decades back when I was a little kid, someone presented me with a tiny working model of an aircraft. Guess that sowed the seeds of this beautiful dream I’ve been carrying with me. The fascination for these flying wonders have been deeply embedded that I distinctly remember running out to my backyard every time to catch a glimpse of an aircraft that flew tens and thousands of miles above our small town.

Years went by and my career started with Mindtree as a Business Analyst with Staff Operations. The Emirates Group was a customer for Mindtree at that time. Even when I allocated people to Emirates account I’ve always wondered how interesting will it be to associate with that brand. It remained a dream.

Couple of years later I was fortunate to be part of the Travel & Transportation Industry Group in Mindtree. Airline domain became my area of interest. While I worked closely with the big names in the industry, Emirates still eluded me. Three more years later, it was time to move on from Mindtree. The big break came with Computer Sciences Corporation offering a dream job at Emirates, though as a consultant. It was half a dream come true!

With every passing day, I was inching closer to my dream or so I thought. There was tremendous learning where it was no longer a distant education; instead I was part of a larger plot that made this mammoth organization work like a-well-oiled machinery. Something was still missing. Being a consultant I felt like an adopted child even when you live in the same house. The connection was still missing though you could say a bond was getting formed.

A year went by and an opportunity presented itself to be a part of the Emirates family. Try I did, but destiny had other plans. Guess the fruit was not ripe yet to be plucked. My wait wasn’t over yet. Couple of more calendars got replaced. Renewed hopes were in the air. Another opportunity showed up, but it almost died as soon as it was born. Organizational level changes that were happening were to be blamed. My patience levels were now getting tested. Yet another possible opening came but it got shot down due to lack of budgets and hence no promises were made. I was fast losing it and almost decided to pack my bag of dreams.

That’s when it struck! Out of the blue, the long awaited invitation arrived, to be part of the family which I’ve been so longing to be with. I looked up and thanked Almighty. An Emirates flight with the UAE flag as the livery flew past reminding me that dreams do come true!

Today, the second day of August 2015, I’m officially part of The Emirates Group.

I live my dream. 

A Deal in Heaven

He was pleasantly surprised to see a large contingent of angels waiting to receive him at the gate. The group was led by a Seraph himself and greeted him with a very warm smile. A question came to his mind and he promptly asked the Seraph, “Is this how you normally welcome the new ones?”

The Seraph replied, “Oh not at all! You are very special to have made to the Level Five of Heaven directly and hence this remarkable welcome. Only a few I knew have achieved this before you. Congratulations!”

He felt good and asked again, “You said Level Five. How many more are there?”

“Look up yourself” was the reply from Seraph.

He looked up and saw five more levels right above, with the top most being the one where the Almighty resides. Many more questions came to his mind. But it was almost time to welcome him in and the Seraph reassured him that they’ll have a chat later the day.

After the joining formalities were completed, he was asked to take some rest. The journey from being mortal to immortal wasn’t quite easy. He had a good sleep and woke up to see the compassionate face of the Seraph who greeted him at the entrance.

“Hope you are feeling good?” Seraph enquired.

He replied in affirmative and was quite curious to see a notepad in Seraph’s hand. He enquired what it was and the Seraph replied in a hushed tone, “You are about to enter into one of the most important deals here in Heaven. You asked me earlier about the levels of Heaven and I could sense many more questions that you’ve in your mind. Are you ready for the deal?”

He felt a bit nervous; nevertheless being in high spirits he said, “Bring them on!”

The Seraph started, “This is the Book of Remembrance. As I said earlier you are one of the very few lucky ones to have directly reached Level Five of Heaven. Most of them start with Level Zero and earn their way up based on this Book. Each time someone back home remembers you in their prayers you get one point. You can accumulate these points and when a specific limit is reached you can use them to gain entry to the next level. Sounds simple, isn’t it? But of course conditions apply like what you people say back there in Earth.

Remember that just like you, there are zillions of others here in Heaven who wants to reach the next level. You need at least a million points to even qualify for the next level and with each level the required points go up making it quite a challenge! There are further criteria which I’ll explain later of what will really make you stand out among the qualified few. What’s important is that prayers from your near and dear ones need to keep flowing continuously for you to go up.

Don’t get disheartened. I’m not done yet. Each time you get a point based on a prayer, the person who prayed for you opens an account as well. Each of the points you earn will translate to half a point for them in their account. Once those points reach a limit you could redeem them to grant one of their wishes. So the deal is really between you and them! Isn’t Bartholomew a genius?! He is the one who came up with this score card system.”

He took the notepad from the Seraph. Walked to the window of his room and looked down to Earth. He could see his loved ones mourning their loss. He wanted to scream at the top of his voice, “Stop crying you morons! Start praying for me so that I can get the elevator to the next level and even grant your wishes!”

The Seraph smiled… 

When God answers…

Raphael was seated at the chair kept for him at the dining table next to God Himself. It was breakfast time though that was not what he was there for. He had a small notepad with him in which he is expected to quickly note down what gets dictated from the Almighty.

The first set of requests taken was from Alice. God started granting one by one. In between He asked Mother Mary to pass on the bottle of jam. While applying the jam on to a slice of bread, He continued to grant a few other wishes as well for Alice. But a couple of them fell through when He was reaching out for the jam bottle. Alice had asked for these during her usual prayer time, but she took a quick break in between to check if there was enough jam left for the next day morning breakfast.

Paul's requests turned out to be next. This was a big one with requests for promotions, job change and what not. God was almost half way through His breakfast by then. He started granting Paul's wishes one after the other. It came to the promotion bit and that's when Gabriel walked in with a message that needed His attention. By the time He was done with the interrupting message, Paul's request for promotion was lost somewhere. Interestingly Paul while asking God for these had got a call in between which he answered before continuing with rest of the prayers.

Donna, Peter, Sylvia and Robert; each one of them had their own set of requests that got delivered to the Almighty. Most of them got answered. A few got misplaced in between. Those were the exact ones that were requested to God while each one of them was busy doing something else in between the prayers.

Focus, when you talk to Him. He listens, always.  

Blessing of Haves

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Jul 2015
 
Alex had promised his wife Nisha that he'll take her to the Mall in the evening as she really didn't want to miss the annual sale at the famous European store. It was a really hectic day for him and by the time he got out of office, he was almost dead tired. All what he wanted to do was to hit the bed so that he can wake up early in the morning tomorrow to finish the pile of work at office. Nevertheless he reached home and was reminded of his promise. Though not quite happy, he took her to the Mall where she was greeted with a shopping heaven as expected. The options available were endless and the best part was the price tags! She thanked God and the person who invented the concept of 'Sale'. 

The store was well lit and the dresses on display were quite tempting. She felt like taking the entire store back home. Of course since that was not practically feasible, the next biggest challenge was to decide what to choose. Naturally it took quite a long time and Alex ran out of his patience. He made some remarks which led to a few arguments and by the time they reached home, they were not speaking to each other anymore. Alex didn't even bother to say the prayers or wish his wife a good night. Instead he went straight to the bed and soon was fast asleep. 

Next morning, he didn't tell her a bye and in the blink of an eye he was out of the house heading to office. She didn't speak a word either and just closed the door after him though she was expecting with half her heart that he'll turn back before he took the elevator down. That never happened. Both of them felt miserable, but they had their egos to be pampered and that's exactly what they did as well. 

Alex soon got busy at work and before it was mid-day he got a call on his phone. Nisha's picture showed up on his phone screen and for a moment he had a grin on his face; the grin of a winning ego. He answered the phone expecting her subdued tone with his ego reaching its pinnacle. Instead he heard a man's voice, introducing him as a police officer. The words that followed melted all the mountains of ego he had built within himself, on top of which he was sitting with his false pride. His wife met with a terrible accident on her way to work and was taken to the City Hospital!

Alex drove like a mad man and reached the hospital in no time. Two things happened in parallel. Alex stepped into the reception of the hospital and frantically checked about Nisha. It was almost the same time when a nurse was covering Nisha's face with a sheet of white linen. The heart monitor showed a flat line. Alex was taken to her by someone there at the hospital. He removed the linen and looked at her face. It was still beautiful though now marked with some cuts and bruises. Those eyes which saw lots of dreams together with him were closed forever. Time seemed to have frozen around him. No one was moving and so was his sweetheart who was now lying in front of him. 

All the scenes from the previous evening suddenlycame back to him. He remembered not giving her a goodnight kiss. He denied the usual warm bye hug in the morning too. He didn't even turn back and wave at her before taking the elevator down and letting his ego go up! All that is over now. She is no more and he didn't even tell her a proper goodbye. All of a sudden, memories with her from the past came rushing and started suffocating him. He sat down on the floor and tears that were locked deep down somewhere started flowing. That was the moment of realization. He knew the blessing of what he had which he won't have any more. 

He was soon crying uncontrollably. No one could pacify him. All of a sudden he felt someone holding him by his shoulders and shaking him quite vigorously. He opened his eyes and though the tears blurred his vision, he saw a figure that he very well knew. Nisha was standing right next to him holding a cup of water which she earlier sprinkled on his face asking him to wake up before it gets too late for office!

It took a full minute for him to realize the nightmare he had. He looked at her and rubbed his eyes once more and without giving her much of a warning he gave her the tightest ever hug in their life. He was holding her as if he didn't want anyone to take her away from him even for a fraction of a moment. She was totally confused. He was crying and with a smile of great relief, looked at her eyes and said "I love you". 

Know the blessings that you have today. Do not wait to realize till the time they are taken away from you. 

God bless you all!

Security Encounter!

A few months back I was at a shopping center with my wife and my three year old son. While she was looking around a store, my son and I went for a quick stroll. We walked through the reception area of the building where a coin-operated massage chair was placed. There was a payment kiosk for a bunch of service providers next to the massage chair. While I was getting a massage done for myself, my little one started exploring the kiosk.

After a few moments I saw the security guard at the reception walking towards my son. I was sort of 'trapped' on the massage chair and was watching the scene with caution! He came next to my boy and started looking at him with a lot of interest. I could see his gleaming eyes and a tiny smile on his face. My son, oblivious of a stranger looking at him continued to check out the various buttons on the kiosk.

After a few moments, I was released from the clutches of the massage chair and I promptly got up. The security guy looked at me and smiled. I was still not sure what his intention was and so I returned the smile though with an element of suspicion. He looked at my son again and asked me, "Sir, how old is your little one?"

I replied, "He turned three last December".

He then asked me a few more questions about my son. He wanted to know about his schooling, playtime activities and a few other things. I answered him, though was not feeling very comfortable with these questions being asked. I felt an intrusion to our privacy.

I was almost ready to take my son away from the scene since I was getting worked up with these queries. That's when the man spoke again. The next statement he said disarmed me totally.

"Sir, I'm from Pakistan and it has been two years since I went back home. I left home on my son's first birthday. When I saw your little one I was wondering how mine will be looking like now."

I was speechless and soon my eyes got welled up. I took my son out and this time it wasn't because I was uncomfortable with the security guard, but because I didn't want him to see me in tears.

Suffering in Silence!

Article for Bethlehem Matrimonial - Jun 2015
 
A few years back I got an opportunity to work at a mid-size IT company in Bangalore for a marketing project. I had my friend KC as well with me. One of those days we reached the office in the morning and I saw KC being a little tired. When asked he said he got up with a mild fever. He thought he could manage through the day and hence didn't take an off. The day progressed and soon we'd our regular debrief meeting with our mentor Gopal sir who was known for his military-precision planning. 

During the meeting, KC was seated next to an air-conditioner vent and was quite uncomfortable being there though he said nothing fearing a possible retort from sir. After a while KC started slightly shivering as well. Gopal sir stopped the debriefing in between, looked at KC and asked him what's wrong. KC told him that he was not feeling well from the morning and the air-conditioner was not helping either. The next statement we heard from him left a lasting impression on both of us. He said, "You should've just told me that you are not well and asked for the air-conditioner to be turned off or reduced. Always remember this: Never suffer in silence!"

Many of us would've experienced a similar kind of a situation in our lives, married or otherwise. There are quite a few who are passive about their pain or suffering and strange enough they accept it as a part of their life. The scenario gets even more complicated in a married life. People assume that there is nothing that they can do about this and instead continue to suffer in silence. If someone ever asks, they've a standard reply stating they are helpless and hence accept it as part of the life they've chosen. 

It is not meant to be like this! Marriage is not a contract you enter into, where you agree for all sufferings. It is a bridge which you need to build along with your better half across the river of challenges. If there are sufferings that come along with it, you need to face it together and not alone. You being married do not mean that you are above or below someone. It is a relationship at par. Both of you share an equal level of respect in this Holy initiative named marriage. 

It is not a matter of pride to say that you are suffering something in marriage. It could be insignificant things such as your partner's choices of clothes to food or more critical things such as your interests in planning finances or your child's education. Whatever may it be, it needs to be understood that when you can't reach a consensus, swallowing the bitter pill is not the best option. This will definitely lead to the construction of bridge left to one person and the other one really becomes less active in building the blocks of this beautiful monument called life. 

The truth is bare. Any suffering should be explicitly discussed between the couple. It is quite important to know that there is hardly anything in this world which can't be resolved beyond the four walls of your bedroom. You do not really need a third person's help to sort out an issue between the two of you. If one solution doesn't seem to be working, try ten others. For sure, you will reach a state which is happily acceptable to you both instead of one having to accept it as the way of life. 

Stop thinking of married life as a need of being part of the society! You are getting married to love and being loved. Period! Anything else is just another challenge in your bridge construction. Find the alternatives, place the bricks,build the bridge and never let the river of hurdles stop you from getting across together happily.

Remember this simple yet powerful thought: Never suffer in silence! 

God bless you.